Signs to look for in a successful date

Ifeel so dejected. The man of my dreams finally asked me for a date and I thought we had such a good time. I think I did everything right, according to the rules of the game. I read up on all the things that interested him (I did research on him), I did not talk about me, me and me (even if I am quite accomplished and rich), I did not order the most expensive item on the menu and I did not drink more than one glass of wine, and I wore the latest fashion from Mango. It’s been two weeks now and he has not called back, even if his parting words to me were "I will call you!" Should I give up hoping and just forget about him? By the way, he only gave me a peck on the cheeks when he took me to my door at exactly 11 p.m. My girl friend said a kiss on the cheeks on the first date is to be expected. Most men are afraid to be branded "aggressive". I think she’s just trying to make me feel good because another friend told me when men are attracted to their date, they TRY to kiss them on the lips. The point is, will he ever call again as he promised?

Ms. Dejected

If it’s been two weeks and he has not called back as he promised, he brought you back at 11 p.m., which is relatively early if a man was enjoying himself, and gave you only a peck on the cheek, chances are the writing on the wall spells "Goodbye" instead of "I will call you." I asked a man-about-town his two cents worth on how a man shows interest in a date, for your reference, so you will know how to assess your next date.

Here are his views: 1) Men are pursuers. They love the hunt. If he’s interested, he will ask you out again that very same night and will call shortly thereafter. He won’t wait for the mandatory three to four days to appear "cool". 2) If he’s smitten, he will be complimenting you all throughout the evening – you’re so attractive, so interesting, so chic, so smart, etc. and he’s loving every minute of your company! He will certainly not bring you home at 11 p.m. Not even Cinderella went home that early! 3) He’s flirtatious. He makes you feel like you are the most desirable person in the world. 4) He is attentive. He makes you feel that he is genuinely interested in you. 5) He picks up the check without hesitation. And offers to take you somewhere fun for a nightcap, to further extend the evening. If these clues were not there, he was long gone before the night was over. But don’t feel dejected. It happens to even the most beautiful women. Chemistry between a man and a woman is not easy to find. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime to find the right partner. Move on and you will eventually hit on the right one with some luck!
As for the men-about-town who are always on the lookout for dates, I also asked some ladies to give their views on when a man stands a chance for a second and more dates. Instead of risking getting rejected for a second date, look for the positive signs that will ensure a next date: 1) There will be signs of flirtation: A touch of your arm, a flip of her hair. 2) She’ll laugh at your jokes, even if they are not really funny. 3) She’ll gaze into your eyes and hang on your every word, making you feel important. 4) She will give you some information about herself as well, not just nod and listen to you. 5) She’ll be responsive to your attempts at affection. When you reach out and touch her, she touches back. 6) When you ask her out again, she doesn’t hesitate. She makes a date right there and then. Men take note, so you don’t waste your time in asking for a second date if the above signs are not present.

* * * Rx For Cancer

My brother just arrived from the USA to visit our father who has colon cancer and he said that there is a new drug on the market that is effective in curing colon cancer. When I asked my father’s oncologist about this new drug, which is called Avastin, he said he had not heard about it. Would it better for us children to send our father to the USA for treatment since they are more advanced in their treatment?

Worried Son

Avastin was first identified in 1989 and is set to be approved by the FDA soon for the treatment of colon cancer. It is a first-of-its-kind cancer drug because it starves tumors and may potentially be used to nip cancers in the bud. It is given by injection and is being tested against colon cancer, kidney cancer, prostate cancer, non-Hodgkins lymphoma and other kinds of cancer. It is manufactured by Gerentech. Dr. Judah Folkman believes that Avastin will also be used for ovarian cancer, maybe breast cancer, and macular degeneration, an eye disease that can lead to blindness. A recent study conducted on people with advanced colon cancer showed that the drug was successful in prolonging their lives. So it might be worth your while to bring your father to the USA when this drug is approved by the FDA.

* * * She’s Hot, He’s Not

I have been going out with a girl who I think is far superior than I am. She has a better paying job, she is hot in the looks department while I am just average looking. Her car is an SUV while mine is a second-hand Honda. Plus she is sought after by a lot of guys. The only aspect where I topped her is I graduated magna cum laude, and she, cum laude. We have been going out for six months now and my bag of tricks is running low. I feel I always have to think of something new to keep her interested. I always have to come up with new jokes, interesting discussion topics, little gifts here and there that she always thanks me for but I wonder if she appreciates them. I try to fill out every conversational silence when we are on a date, am always thinking of a new activity, ( I recently joined a badminton club so we could share a sport) so as to keep her engrossed with me. We have been together for six months now and I am getting mentally and physically tired. Short of standing on my head to keep her interested, what else should I do?

Mr. Nervous Wreck

Here is the first thing you should do: Relax, relax, relax! Before you read on, breathe in, hold it for 10 seconds, then breathe out. Repeat three times. Feel better now?
I think you are driving yourself in a frenzy because people tell you that your girl is hot in the looks department, in the brains department and in all other departments. You are interpreting this as "your girl is so far more superior than you, what did she see in you?" Why don’t you hear it this way: "Congratulations on your choice of a girlfriend. She is really nice and is worth your magna cum laude honors!" Sometimes, having a girlfriend that is all of the above could give a man a complex. That is what is happening to you and it is making you a nervous wreck. Take my advice, this is what you should do: Don’t come up with all your pre-conceived jokes, stop giving little presents too often (she probably is just being polite in not telling you that you are stuffing her drawers with junk) and don’t fill up every conversational silence with nervous chatter. Don’t you believe in the saying "silence is golden"? Give her time to savor the moment, instead of hearing your nervous chatter. Haven’t you stopped to think that she has been with you for six months? This could only mean that she truly likes you and sees something special in you. She knows that you are more than the sum of your parts, so quit putting yourself down. Get the picture? Oh, before I forget, playing badminton together is a smart idea. Having a sport in common could draw a couple closer.

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For your questions, write to Mayenne Carmona, Star Media Inc., 6th floor, Jaka Bldg., Ayala Ave., Makati.