A blue, blue Christmas
December 20, 2003 | 12:00am
It’s the time of the year when people expect you to be happy even if you are not. It’s actually a very exhausting time for most of us. And whenever I think that a big portion of my bonus will go in to buying gifts for people who might not even appreciate the effort I put into getting them, I get even more depressed.
There’s so much hype over the season. I think Christmas is great for children, but adults should have a more realistic view of it and not expect too much from people who are not up to celebrating. I tried to ask some of my family members that we dispense with gift giving this year, except that we give gifts to our parents and the children, but to no avail. I have sisters who have all the money and the time in the world to buy presents for everyone. Am I the only one feeling this way about the holidays?
The holiday season could indeed be a stressful time of the year. Many people try to please too many people. It could really stretch your nerves especially if you are overworked and underpaid, like the majority of the people. So if you are feeling blue amid the red, green and gold, here are some survival strategies to drive your holiday blues away:
A) Instead of buying gifts for every one, donate to a favorite charity on their behalf. I just received a Christmas card from a friend saying that she gave to Hands On Manila, on my behalf. One of this organization’s purposes is to build decent housing for low-income families. (For interested donors call 843-5231).
B) Stay away from the booze. Alcohol changes your mood, and it also brings out the worst in you. It can make you more depressed if you are already depressed.
C) Be selective of the parties you attend. You cannot go to 10 parties in one night and spend five minutes in each party, coming home dizzy and exhausted. Two parties a night at most is best, that way you will be able to spend quality time with your special friends.
D) Do not go on a spending spree just because there are holiday sales. You will get more depressed when you get your credit card bill. A friend of mine, a stereo buff, thought upgrading his equipment would take him out of his misery. He got so depressed when he had to pay the bill and even more depressed when his friends (mostly tone deaf) did not notice the difference between his old stereo and the new one.
E) Gather your friends and do something useful for the community. Visit an orphanage, a nursing home, etc. You will be proud of yourself.
F) Simplify your traditions. Minimize all the exhausting rituals like visiting relatives and exchanging gifts with family members. Instead of exchanging gifts why not exchange amusing family stories?
G) Exercise every day! This is important if you are eating more during this season. It is hard to be depressed when you are physically fit. Get enough sleep! There’s nothing like sleep to de-stress! Kenneth Goodrich PhD, author of the book Energy, Peace, Purpose recommends: "During stressful times, think about what is important. Remember that happiness and fulfillment lie in the balance between self-care and caring for others. Take care of yourself so you won’t burn out, so you will be of maximum help to others. Happiness and fulfillment come from doing constructive work and having loving relationships. Be counselors for each other, commiserate. Don’t judge. Just try to help others come up with solutions to their problems.
"For the holiday season psychiatrist Nadine Kaslow suggests" If your family is having problems, resist the temptation to patch up long standing family problems. This is not the time of year to do that. It’s an emotionally charged time and people put a lot of importance on holiday celebrations. It’s better to patch them up when people’s minds are not focused on celebrating and being happy."
I was invited to a few Christmas parties and was surprised that the three that I attended served nothing but lechon and booze. It’s really so appalling that some hosts think that everyone loves lechon. I don’t eat pork for health reasons so I had to leave the party starving. Was it impolite of me to have told the host that I didn’t eat lechon? I felt that I embarassed him. He told me to order from the menu of the restaurant but I didn’t feel that was the right thing to do. What should be done in situation like this?
Unfortunately there are some hosts that think that lechon is the ultimate Filipino food. When throwing a party, a host should take into consideration what his guests’ food preferences are. He should serve a balanced menu, no matter how simple. If he spent a lot on an expensive lechon, he should have simple dishes, like pancit, some fried chicken, lumpia, siomai, or whatever, to satisfy those that don’t eat pork.
I have a friend who sends her family picture as a Christmas card and some of us find it too much to receive her family portrait year after year. I could probably make a photo album of her cards. Sometimes I would rather just receive a card from her, but I also enjoy seeing the changes in her family, how the children are growing, etc. Is it politically correct to send family pictures as part of a Christmas card?
Whether sent to old or new friends, cards keep relations alive. It is always good to personalize your card so it will stand out. A family portrait in a Christmas card is unique. I just received a similar Christmas card and I was delighted to see the latest addition to the family, a baby girl, in the photo. Another Christmas card from a friend in the US did not include their beloved dog who was always part of the card. There was a little note announcing that she passed away. I would not have mixed feelings about it if I were you, rather you should be delighted that your friend considers you special enough to share with you the changes taking place in her life.
For your questions, write to Mayenne Carmona at Stargate Media, 6th floor Jaka Bldg., Ayala Ave, Makati City.
There’s so much hype over the season. I think Christmas is great for children, but adults should have a more realistic view of it and not expect too much from people who are not up to celebrating. I tried to ask some of my family members that we dispense with gift giving this year, except that we give gifts to our parents and the children, but to no avail. I have sisters who have all the money and the time in the world to buy presents for everyone. Am I the only one feeling this way about the holidays?
A) Instead of buying gifts for every one, donate to a favorite charity on their behalf. I just received a Christmas card from a friend saying that she gave to Hands On Manila, on my behalf. One of this organization’s purposes is to build decent housing for low-income families. (For interested donors call 843-5231).
B) Stay away from the booze. Alcohol changes your mood, and it also brings out the worst in you. It can make you more depressed if you are already depressed.
C) Be selective of the parties you attend. You cannot go to 10 parties in one night and spend five minutes in each party, coming home dizzy and exhausted. Two parties a night at most is best, that way you will be able to spend quality time with your special friends.
D) Do not go on a spending spree just because there are holiday sales. You will get more depressed when you get your credit card bill. A friend of mine, a stereo buff, thought upgrading his equipment would take him out of his misery. He got so depressed when he had to pay the bill and even more depressed when his friends (mostly tone deaf) did not notice the difference between his old stereo and the new one.
E) Gather your friends and do something useful for the community. Visit an orphanage, a nursing home, etc. You will be proud of yourself.
F) Simplify your traditions. Minimize all the exhausting rituals like visiting relatives and exchanging gifts with family members. Instead of exchanging gifts why not exchange amusing family stories?
G) Exercise every day! This is important if you are eating more during this season. It is hard to be depressed when you are physically fit. Get enough sleep! There’s nothing like sleep to de-stress! Kenneth Goodrich PhD, author of the book Energy, Peace, Purpose recommends: "During stressful times, think about what is important. Remember that happiness and fulfillment lie in the balance between self-care and caring for others. Take care of yourself so you won’t burn out, so you will be of maximum help to others. Happiness and fulfillment come from doing constructive work and having loving relationships. Be counselors for each other, commiserate. Don’t judge. Just try to help others come up with solutions to their problems.
"For the holiday season psychiatrist Nadine Kaslow suggests" If your family is having problems, resist the temptation to patch up long standing family problems. This is not the time of year to do that. It’s an emotionally charged time and people put a lot of importance on holiday celebrations. It’s better to patch them up when people’s minds are not focused on celebrating and being happy."
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