Where Hidilyn Diaz and Nesthy Petecio draw mental toughness and inspiration
Just for holding it out on the world stage, whether or not they clinch a medal, our dearest national athletes at the Olympics already deserve our respect. A lot of our kababayans seem to be on the same page here, especially in the online sphere with Pinoys from all over proudly pouring their love and support not just for podium finishers Hidilyn Diaz, Nesthy Petecio, Carlo Paalam, and Eumir Marcial. Everyone, including consumer brands, is also celebrating the likes of Carlos Yulo and Margielyn Didal who ended their journeys with defeats. It’s a heartwarming event, really.
I could just imagine the kind of challenges our athletes faced en route to the competition. Of course, I’m not just talking about the physical. As an Ambassador and Board Member of the Philippine Mental Health Association myself, I believe it had a lot to do with what went inside their heads—or hearts.
In our most recent “Pamilya Talk” episode I further learned about the importance of having a support group in sports and life in general. I had the opportunity to ask all about it straight from gold medalist Hidilyn herself and the family of silver medalist Nesthy. Our friends from Project: Steady Asia, a pro-mental health group led by Gang Badoy-Capati who was with Hidilyn throughout her journey, also joined the conversation.
Hidilyn’s heart of a champion
July 26, 2021—ehem, the day of my birthday, and the day President Rodrigo Duterte delivered his last State of the Nation Address—would have been a normal day for the rest of the Filipinos. But Zamboanga native Hidilyn Diaz made it a special one, by dominating the women's weightlifting - 55 kg event to nab the country’s first Olympic gold.
What we would later witness: Filipinos screaming their lungs out (albeit online) in jubilation of Hidilyn’s feat; brands gifting Haidee with cash and other incentives, in addition to the P10 million from the government; and media outfits covering the story almost like the Papal visit. It was such a moment in time, worth reliving again and again.
Whereas Hidilyn’s Olympics victory shot her name and status as quick as lightning, her climb was everything but that. She competed in the Olympics for the first time in 2008, but her journey started even way before.
Mental toughness, she says, helped her hold on to the dream all these years.
“Hind naging automatic yung mental toughness na meron ako as an athlete. Kasi nasa sports ako for 19 years,” Hidilyn, now 30, said. “Sa tingin ko, nakuha ko ito sa lahat ng experiences ko—ilang beses akong nadapa at ilang beses ko gusto nang sumuko. Sa tingin ko naging malakas ako dahil sa mga pagsubok na pinagdaanan ko.”
Like a lot of us, the pandemic especially proved to be a challenge for Hidilyn, she shares.
“Na-realize ko din nung pandemic di ko kayang mag-isa. Na kailangan ko ng kasama. Thankful ako na nandyan (ang team ko). May nakausap ako nung time na ayokong na, na parang, ‘Ano nang next na gagawin?’”
Beyond the support from her team and sponsors, Hidilyn says the source of her strength traces back to her rock—her family. Her gratitude for her nanay and tatay lies beyond them letting her get into a male-dominated sport.
Calling herself “umiiyak pero lumalaban” as a combo of her headstrong father and her emotional mother, Hidilyn said:
“Thankful ako sa nanay ko dahil sinuportahan niya ko sa sports na ginawa ko. Before, ayaw niyang gawin ko ito. Thankful ako na pinapunta nila ako sa training sa China at Manila kasi dun ako natuto maging independent, na wala akong ibang pagsasandalan kasi nasa malayo sila. Natuto akong maging matatag. Good thing din na (nariyan sila) to guide me by constantly communicating with me.”
Nesthy’s fighting spirit
Pacquiao, Donaire, Elorde, and so on. We Filipinos are mostly familiar with gentlemen winning world boxing titles. That is, until 29 year-old Nesthy Petecio put female boxers on the global map by winning silver in the women’s featherweight event in the Tokyo Olympics. Nesthy, petite but powerful at 5’2”, officially became the first Pinay to bring home an Olympic medal in boxing.
While her runner-up finish could just be the highlight of her boxing career, Nesthy, not many know, has already amassed gold, silver, and bronze medals in the Southeast Asian Games, AIBA World Boxing Championships, and Asian Amateur Boxing Championships.
It only gets more inspiring to know that Nesthy came from humble beginnings. Raised by farmers for parents in her native Davao del Sur, she started her career by entering inter-barangay boxing competitions. She then joined the amateur ranks as a way to help in the household.
Nesthy’s source of strength? Her family, of course.
“Nung Grade 4 (siya), meron syang kasuntukan. Napabayad kami ng P700 na pampatahi kasi nasugatan niya yung noo ng kalaban. Sabi ko, ‘Malakas na bata ito!’ Lalaki yung kasuntukan nya!” Nesthy’s father and would-be trainer Teodoro recalled with a laugh. “Nakita ko na ang galing at tapang niya (noon pa man).”
Fortunately, Nesthy’s roughness in the ring was the exact opposite when she’s at home. Said her mom Priscilla, Nesthy grew to be “mabait, ayaw magsalita, at may respeto sa magulang.”
Nesthy’s Olympic feat was no coincidence, adds Tatay Teodoro. As Nesthy’s trainer who was there since the beginning, he saw her athlete daughter envision a dream and do everything to make that dream real.
“Pursigido syang magsanay. Sabi ko, ‘Wag ka dyan, babae ka. Di para sa iyo yan. Pang lalaki yan.’ Pero nagpursigi talaga siya na matuto kaya sinuportahan ko na lang siya.”
“Wala akong pinapangarap na materyal na bagay. Pinangarap ko lang na makaapak sa Olympics at manalo ng medal,” he admitted. “Sobrang proud ako na nakamit niya yung pangarap ko.”
The importance of support groups
In the demanding careers athletes like Hidilyn and Nesthy follow, it’s obviously not just the physical things that need care and nurture. It’s also about the mental and emotional aspects.
Thus, our episode only highlighted the importance of family in raising champions. It’s important to note here that “family” also means friends and other loved ones.
Project: Steady’s lead trauma therapist Gang Badoy-Capati, who has been working with Hidilyn in the 2012 Rio Olympics, is an advocate of how mental health and wellness completes a person. Project: Steady, established as part of alternative education-NGO Rock Ed Philippines in 2016, offers free weekly mental health and wellness Zoom sessions.
“Parang muscle din ang puso,” Badoy-Capati declared. “Balewala kung nag-gold si Hidilyn o hindi. Kung nag-gold sya, pero pangit ugali nya, di sya generous, di sya nagpapakita ng gratitude like ‘thank you,’ ‘po,’ ‘opo,’ ‘excuse me’—for me, parang natalo ako. As a mental health therapist, di sya victory for me. Pag umuwi si Hidilyn nang (may dalang) gold pero bruha sya at kung masungit sya.”
Badoy-Capati added, “Yung nangyari, bukod sa maayos na tao sya at generous, alam niya kung san yung puso nya. Grabe yung focus. Bonus points lang yung gold medal. Tignan mo naman ang effect (sa tin), parang Pasko!”
Project Steady managing director Rodmark Barriga thus commends athletes like Hidilyn and Nesthy who have managed to keep themselves in check, despite all these pressures.
“More than athletes, tao sila. Kapareho natin sila. Sometimes pag nilalagay natin sila sa pedestal, mas mahirap maintindihan yung mga pinagdadannan nilang lahat,” said Barriga, a former athlete himself.
With mental health and wellness becoming an issue more and more these days, Project: Steady then calls on the public—athlete or not—to be more mindful about their state of, well, mind.
“May stigma talaga when it comes to mental wellness. That’s not just in the Philippines. Globally, mahirap pag-usapan ang mental health and wellness kasi iba na agad naiisip natin,” Barriga said. “What we try to do (with Project: Steady) is we try to normalize it. Na lahat tayo ay may mental health. Parang physical health natin yan na kelangang alagaan at i-exercise.”
Project: Steady’s resident Maria Bernadette Carandang adult psychiatrist also extends the invitation to those who “need help, if you feel na you’re not okay, if you feel like you just need a venue na may makakausap ka regularly o makarinig ng experience ng ibang tao.”
“Especially this pandemic, it is important na kahit papano, may semblance of socializing. Find a place where you can connect,” she added.
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