A great part of how we handle money is a product of our family money story. (Share this on Twitter)
Did you grow up hearing your parents quarrel about money?
Did you always hear them say, “Mahirap kitain and pera!”
Did you consider yourself poor?
Or did you grow up feeling richer than most of your relatives, classmates and neighbors?
Did you have relatives who were richer but were pictured as bad people?
Did you experience a significant decline in your family wealth – moving to a smaller house, selling cars, living with relatives?
Did your parents have to leave to work abroad in order to earn money?
Did you always get what you wanted?
Did you grow up with way too many toys from your parents, relatives, friends that you’d receive during your lavish birthday parties?
Did you receive regular cash allowance? How much?
Or did you have to work to earn your allowance?
Did you save as a kid?
Did you travel a lot? How? Economy? Business class?
Was giving part of your family tradition?
What is your family money story?
A favorite part of my FQ workshop is the childhood money memory exercise where the participants unravel deep-seated beliefs, attitudes and behaviors about money. And you know what? We usually react to these money patterns created in childhood in two ways:
1. We repeat it.
2. We reject it.
How about you? What money patterns were formed due to your family money story? Are you repeating these patterns or rejecting them?
Money and family
Do you know the song “Love and Marriage” by Frank Sinatra? It goes something like this:
Love and marriage, Love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage
…You can’t have one without the other
I can’t help but liken it to money and family. You can’t raise a family without money. And somehow, you can’t enjoy your money without sharing it with your family and loved ones.
No matter how great our family goals and dreams are, no matter how much love we have for each other, and how great all our family members are individually, our inability to handle money issues can ruin everything. And yet, we remain quiet instead of being transparent in our money conversations within the family. Despite the importance of FQ or financial intelligence quotient, we still lack proper training for it.
In the Filipino family setting, whoever is earning most is usually expected to shoulder most of the family expenses. Due to lack of earning opportunities in our country, we have encouraged overseas work for some family members who are expected to send their earnings back home. Sacrifices are made, separations are endured, but still without clear-cut terms and conditions of financial arrangements:
Until when should I support my family members?
Are family loans interest-bearing or not? Is there a repayment schedule?
What expenses should I be shouldering?
Are the family members who are subsidized really unable to earn on their own?
Or are we enabling their dependence?
Am I madamot to observe the first basic law of money which is to pay myself first?
Until when should parents subsidize their children?
Is it really fair to always help the child who is always running out of money?
Or is this a twisted form of rewarding the slackers?
And we have not even asked questions about inheritance yet.
So many questions, yet they’re almost always left unanswered because most of the time, they’re not even asked. Don’t we always hear, “Uy, pamilya yan. Hindi dapat nagbibilangan?” But guess what? The more you leave those questions unanswered and unasked, the more you invite confusions to happen. When money issues are not discussed openly in a healthy manner, emotions can build up and can suddenly explode and ruin relationships. (Share this on Twitter)
From what I see, we can only truly have a healthy and peaceful relationship with money if we involve our family members and those whose money behavior affect our own. (Share this on Twitter) We cannot do it in a vacuum. We have to involve them so that we can unitedly move toward our financial goals together as a family. No matter how inspired and decided you are to finally save and invest for your future, things can easily go awry if your family members are not on the same page.
My gift to you my readers
This weekend is the Money and Family Summit, a two-day event on financial literacy and well-being. Spearheaded by TGFI (The Global Filipino Investors), this was originally envisioned to be a big event held at the SMX. Due to the pandemic, we are doing it online on July 11 to 12, 2020. Even as we will miss some of the benefits of a live event, the online platform has given valuable advantages: 1) We can now reach a much bigger audience; 2) Each participant can access the content from anywhere online. 3) The breakout sessions can be accessed at one’s preferred time. 4) For the plenary sessions, you can ask your questions more freely on the chat box.
Below is the roster of our great speakers for the plenary and breakout sessions of the summit.
As an event partner, I have a number of tickets worth P1,500 each to give as gifts to you, my readers.
If you are interested to attend this for free together with your family and friends, this is your chance. Please follow the simple steps below:
Step 1: Take the FQ test by clicking the link
Start your financial journey with FQ test
Step 2: Send your FQ score to:
Bianca.FQMom@gmail.com with subject: I Want a Free Ticket to the Money and Family Summit
Step 3: Wait for your letter of instruction on how to register for free on a first-come first-served basis.
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I hope that this event will help re-write your family money story into a positive one, giving all family members the chance to have a high FQ!
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ANNOUNCEMENTS
1. I’m going to give an online workshop on July 22, 2020 for the existing and prospective clients of ATRAM Trust Company. You may contact ATRAM if interested.
2. Reading is another coping mechanism for the lockdown. If you haven’t yet, may I invite you to read any of the FQ Mom books?