Can you count on your kids to the rescue?
Hi everyone. It’s good to be back. No matter how busy my schedule gets, I always make it a point to submit my weekly article. But last week was a different story. I had flu that wouldn’t go away. I was too dizzy and weak to write anything. I was also reserving my energy so I could get well for meetings already set for the week, a morning wedding where I was a godmother, and the speaking engagement for the Philippine Readers and Writers Festival (PRWF) at the Raffles Hotel on Aug. 10, 2018.
Unfortunately, as you get older, recovery gets harder. I missed the wedding, and I had to reschedule the meeting. Fortunately, I was able to make it to the PRWF engagement, thanks to my sons who were such big help.
Saved by the boys
As I look back at how Friday afternoon unfolded, I could not help but feel so blessed to be able to count on my sons to help me out. To hold your audience for one and a half hours when you just recovered from fever that same morning is not an easy task. Here’s what happened.
I wrote down on our family whatsapp thread the things I want to cover for that afternoon. Then we headed to Raffles Hotel where we booked one room. While we checked in, Martin, my oldest went to a nearby Chinese restaurant to order our lunch (I was craving for Chinese at that time). While he waited for the order which took longer than expected, he was able to come up with a program flow complete with power point presentation.
While taking our late lunch, he and Anton, the youngest and the host, discussed how to go about it – what videos to include, how to start, how to end with a fun factor, etc. All I had to do was get dressed and go to the venue.
At the venue, I was relaxed. I just answered the questions asked by the audience, moderated by Anton in coordination with Martin who also acted as the floor director, monitoring the time and the questions coming in.
Here’s the best part. My Ventolin-laden brain and my still weak body was not yet in that usual makwento mode when I answered the questions. Maybe I was also conscious not to talk too much for fear of running out of breath that might get me coughing. But thanks to Anton, he always had something to add to my answers that made the discussions richer. Same with Martin. Their added stories made the FQ lessons come alive, giving the audience a better glimpse of how these FQripot tips actually affect children, compared to just hearing it from the parent.
I guess I can say that “The proof of the pudding is in the eating!” There was a smile on my face and in my heart while I listened to them expound on the things and articulate the nuggets of wisdom so clearly. I was so sure they also know the lessons by heart.
Looking back/raising reliable kids
In times like this and also during my book launch, where again my boys Martin, Enrique and Anton, and also my husband Marvin, gave their all-out support, I could not help but feel sentimentally grateful. I think this is their way of showing their gratitude to me. In their “love letters to Mama” they always thanked me for my undivided attention while they were growing up. And maybe today, this is how they express their gratitude - they help me with whatever way they could with my projects.
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who asked how I was able to raise them to be so confident and dependable because she watched them all help out in the book launch. My answer was what I’ve discussed in past articles – our impromptu programs at night (click link), allowing them to talk to adults, reminding them that they should not be embarrassed about losing in games, etc.
My sons are not perfect but I have more than enough reasons to be proud of how they all turned out to be. When it comes to reliability, I guess they learned early on how important it was to honor your commitments. Even with small projects like family party programs, it was impressed upon them as young boys that when they say yes to an assignment, they had to deliver – on time and with their best shot, no excuses please.
This training starts when our children are still young, and remember that they are watching their parents closely. Did you deliver on your promises to them? When you said that you will attend their performance, were you really there? And these promises are not just about your attendance, prizes and treats, but even your “threats.” When you threatened your erring child with a disciplinary consequence, did you deliver? Did you allow your children to experience the consequences of their actions?
Sometimes, I hear parents complain how their children don’t seem to mature into responsible adults. Most of the time, this is due to the overzealousness of the parents who were too quick to protect and cushion their kids from the harsh realities of life while growing up. This may be a good reminder to us parents to back off a little, to not over-praise them, but to call out mediocre work when necessary. Don’t deprive them of these mistakes/learning opportunities while they’re still young and malleable. If you are always too quick to the rescue once you see them bungling, you may show them how “reliable” you are as a parent, but you are doing this at the expense of developing your children’s own reliability! 
Here are some photos taken during the PRWF and the FQ Book Launch where my boys were to the rescue!
(To watch the #PRWF2018 FQwentuhan, click FQ Live!)
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ANNOUNCEMENTS
1. If you want to professionalize homemaking, check out the seminars of H&S in collaboration with Kenvale of Australia. Visit their FQ Page “Homestyle & Skills” to participate in their seminars that start on Aug. 31, 2018. My session will be the last one scheduled on Oct. 3, 2018.
2. I wish to thank everyone who purchased my latest book “FQ: The nth Intelligence.” If you’re interested to see what’s inside the book, watch this FQ Book Preview:
You may now purchase the book in major bookstores, or if you want autographed copies, please go to FQ Mom FB page (click SHOP), or FQMom.com (click BOOKS), or email us at FQMomm@gmail.com.
3. Want to know your FQ score? Take the FQ test challenge now! Click link: http://rebrand.ly/FQTest.
Rose Fres Fausto is a speaker and author of bestselling books “Raising Pinoy Boys” and “The Retelling of The Richest Man in Babylon” (English and Filipino versions). Click this link to read samples – Books of FQ Mom. She is a behavioral economist, a certified Gallup strengths coach and the grand prize winner of the first Sinag Financial Literacy Digital Journalism Awards. Follow her on Facebook & YouTube as FQ Mom, and Twitter & Instagram as theFQMom. Her latest book is “FQ: The nth Intelligence.”
