MANILA, Philippines – Battling an illness as serious as cancer is a terrifying ordeal. Aside from the disease itself, the thoughts and questions that run through your mind will leave you emotionally, mentally, and physically drained.
But no matter how difficult or despairing the journey, says Frances Yu, what will always arise is hope — hope and courage that you don’t have to go through this alone.
Frances Yu, chief retail strategist for Mansmith and Fielders and marketing consultant, was diagnosed a year ago with breast cancer at the age of 46. When she was confronted with the prognosis, she felt as if her entire life had been shattered. “I was shocked because I thought of myself as a very healthy person. I thought I was okay because I had kept my weight at a good range, same as when I was in college.”
Interestingly, it was one of her church friends who urged her to get a check-up. “I felt fine. But she told me that she was praying, and God told her to tell me to go to a doctor. I had not gotten a medical check-up in many years so I went. And sure enough, there were findings in my mammogram. If it had not been detected early, it would have spread very quickly because it was aggressive. So even my discovery of the cancer was divine intervention,” shares Frances. “Fortunately, it was Stage 1 cancer, and treatment was available.”
Of course, the news was devastating nevertheless. Like many other patients, she did not expect this would happen to her. “I felt I was too young for cancer,” she admits. “I was shocked, but I eventually got used to the idea.”
Her sister, Crickette Tantoco, marketing consultant for Payless and Joe Fresh, narrates how Frances shared the news with the family. “Frances told me very nonchalantly. Actually, I was stunned because she hung up the phone shortly after. So I had to call her back to make sure I heard it right the first time. I was shaken especially because she was determined to fight this all on her own.”
Crickette rallied her siblings and other family members to stage an intervention, Frances had people who love her and they were adamant that they be with her at this trying time. “As a family, we wanted to show her that we supported all her decisions, and tried to make her every day normal, but also special (as she went through chemotherapy).”
Despair was soon replaced with determination, and Frances quickly became meticulous and disciplined in her approach to battling cancer. “She did a lot of research and very methodically charted a calculated plan for overcoming her sickness. She created a hierarchy for her decision-making process and weighed the odds. When she fully understood what she was facing, she wasted no time,” recounts Crickette. “She was very definite about the treatment, her choice of doctors, and her recovery plan. She was proactive and positive throughout the whole process.”
Chemotherapy and all the other tests proved to be a physical and emotional battle, but Frances was armed with courage, grit, and an unwavering spirituality. Frances asserts, “I got support from God first and foremost, then Virgin Mary. Everyone else followed: family, friends, friends who are part of my religious community, and my colleagues at work. I had a very strong support system. ”
Those long months of treatment forced her to reflect on her life. “I learned that you cannot avoid suffering. It’s your choice to suffer with God, or without God. So I embraced it,” she says.
One of the more beautiful truths that she discovered throughout this ordeal is that there is also a blessing to be found in trying circumstances. “Suffering shouldn’t be wasted. It’s something you can elevate, and transform into something transcendent. You can offer it up and use it as a stepping stone to become a better person, to inspire others, especially those going through the same journey. You can even use it to become a more compassionate person,” she declares with wisdom.
“I had questions, but I never questioned God. There was no ‘Why did this happen to me?’ Things happen to people all the time so you should always have a disposition of gratitude. In life, there will always be the ups and downs, but if you’re a grateful person, you’ll always be a stable person,” she reflects. “I discovered hidden strengths I didn’t know I had. I discovered that in a crisis, I could be very peaceful.”
Crickette, like many of those around Frances, felt the positivity her sister radiated. Her graciousness and unconditional gratitude have helped inspire others to see the silver lining in all things. “Throughout the whole process, she always remained positive, spiritual, and informed. Even without her hair, she is gorgeous because her beauty emanates from inside. She has been with me through all my trials and challenges. I will not enter any battle without her by my side. She gives me the strength, clarity, moral guidance, and resilience to face life.”
For those who are undergoing or who may go through this same challenging trial, Frances offers her words of assurance: “Don’t lose hope. There are others who have gone through the same journey and have survived. Not only have they survived, they have also thrived! So, you need to take courage with everything. This too shall pass. If you go through it the right way, you may find yourself changed for the better.”
Standing in support of women and other breast cancer survivors, Frances Yu and her sister Crickette Yu-Tantoco, will be walking as one of the model-pairs at Fashion Can Serve 2016, a fundraising event of ICanServe Foundation, on Oct. 13 at the Ballroom of Raffles Makati.
Established in 1999, ICanServe Foundation has become an influential advocacy group for breast cancer in the Philippines. ICanServe conducts community-based comprehensive screening programs that empower women through education and information, and promote early diagnosis of breast cancer.
For information on how you can support ICanServe projects and programs, visit http://www.icanservefoundation.org/.
For FashionCanServe, visit http://activities.icanservefoundation.org/fashioncanserve/ and/or https://www.facebook.com/FashionCanServe.