Keep your husband’s past in the past and focus on the present
DEAR EPPY,
If you publish this letter, I hope you will keep my identity a secret. I have been married for 10 years now and lately, I discovered something about my husband and his ex-gf’s secret. I discovered this because I stalk her using my husband’s FB account. And from our conversation, I discovered that they had a sexual encounter one month before our marriage. I confronted my husband about the matter, but he said that the girl tempted her and wanted to have sex with him. My husband said he did it without love, just nothing. I don’t know what to do. I can’t understand because he’s my first and last.
What shall I do with this? My mind is still preoccupied with what they did. MS. CONFIDENTIAL
DEAR MS. CONFIDENTIAL,
There are people who have good lives but are miserable because of how they think. Some become miserable because they focus on their past and feel bad about it, instead of working towards a happier present and future. Then, there are those who become miserable because they constantly focus on the future and worry about it.
You seem to be the type who live in the past and make the present look like the past. Whatever the sins of your husband from the past, I suggest for you to keep them there. Is your husband a loving husband today? Is he the type of husband who doesn’t give you a reason for you to doubt his loyalty? Does he treat you well? Does he spend time with you whenever he can find time?
If the answer to the above questions is “yes,” then stop thinking of the past and stay in the present where everybody is living in. If the answer to the questions is “no,” then maybe you focus on the past because it gives you every reason to doubt your husband, but the present does not give you a reason to complain.
There is a possibility that your husband has been neglecting you, but you can’t complain because he has not shown you any reason to doubt him. However, you may be given subtle signs for you to doubt his loyalty to you. This happens when he treats you as if you’re not there, he treats you as if you’re not equals, and he’s not sweet to you. If this were the case, then I suggest you look around for evidence in the present, not in the past.
EPPY
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Email address: eppygochangco@gmail.com
