The buzz on Boy Abunda’s near date with death

A visibly leaner Boy Abunda greets me with a big smile, like a friend from a distant past, as I walk into the waiting room where he’s killing time before the start of an informal round-table conference that would launch him as the newest celebrity ambassador of TechnoMarine, the Geneva-based watch brand known for its timeless timepieces.

As the torrential rain continues to pour outside, the King of Talk talks about how he weathered what was probably the biggest storm in his life.  “It’s really funny that it had to take a 16-day ordeal in the hospital for me to realize how important time was,” Boy muses aloud.

He quickly adds, “It’s something I knew from the very beginning, but I never took it seriously. I didn’t know how important time was, how important it was to spend time with your family, with yourself, with your friends. Before, right after the Aquino and Abunda Tonight, which would finish by 10:20 p.m., I would still have three meetings — I would do negotiations, contracts, production meetings.”

It was probably the loudest buzz in tinseltown: Boy Abunda’s near date with death. Not seeing him for a long time in his TV shows, some people were even quick to “kill” him. “They said I died of colon cancer or I had HIV (the AIDS virus),” says an unamused Boy.

So, how did Boy deal with all these intrigues?

“After my hospitalization, I realized that to be on the side of kindness is always better,” he asserts.

Looking back, he relates, “I’ve never been seriously hospitalized in all my life. I’m not used to getting sick. Sanay ako sa herbal medicine, laking probinsya. Sanay ako na pinapahiran lang ng lola at nanay ko. I was really running too fast. But my mindset was nothing’s gonna happen to me because I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, and I have eight hours of sleep.”

And then it happened. He was rushed to the hospital with a 43° fever and convulsing as he was wheeled in. “Was there a moment when I said my time was up?” he repeats our question. “Wala naman. Medically, I did not have a near-death experience, except that I would overthink, ‘What if this happens?’ And there were moments when I was so depressed during my 16-day confinement. There were moments when I felt so low, so weak, so powerless. Sabi ko nga na even when you’re with your loved ones — my partner Bong and also my family — merong episodes in the hospital na ikaw lang — just you, your pain, and your God. And it’s a moment of prayer, I was begging the Lord, ‘Pagalingin mo naman ako because I don’t want to let my nanay bury me.’”

With death then hovering over his sickbed, Boy recalls, “Yes, I confronted myself with the issue of mortality. Before, you can’t make me talk about Nanay’s eventual going or my eventual date with death. Dati, hindi ko kaya yon. Aba, I realized that when you get sick and you’re so weak and have nothing to cling to, wala kang makapitan, there’s a certain kind of tapang that you discover in yourself.”

In the operating room, doctors aspirated (or removed by suction) 300ml of abscess from his liver. “That was causing all the infection,” Boy explains. “And all this was caused by stress.”

While he was being poked with a big needle, Boy says he had nothing to cling to except for a cross that one of his doctors got from Jerusalem and, of course, his scapular. His only request to his doctors was to make sure he was holding the cross while he was being operated on.

Having stared death in the face, Boy says his life took a 180-degree turn. “Now, I manage my time. I’m tucked in bed by 11:30 p.m. and I’m up by 9 a.m. I take my milk now, hindi ako nasanay sa gatas. And then I walk under the sun, 8-9 a.m., around the village, one of my best ‘me’ times, one of my most peaceful times. I pray a lot, I’m a Marian devotee. I go to Baclaran, I have a very simple prayer now, aside from the formulaic prayer. I say to the Lord, ‘Thank you, bless me, forgive me, thank you for this wonderful day.’ My prayer is now more personal.”

As far as his family is concerned, Boy is making up for lost time. “In the past, I took my family for granted,” he confesses. “Akala ko pag may dinner na kami ni Bong, okay na. Akala ko non if I was present during the times my family would need me, yon na yon. Now, I’m learning that quantity is better than quality. This is my opinion, I’m not talking on behalf of the multitude. Quantity will always be better than quality. Even if I fight with Bong or with my sister, it’s good to be together, to spend time together, to get to know each other when one is mad, when one is happy. In the meantime, while I used to take myself for granted, it’s different now. I had to let go of 50/60 percent of my load and find more time listening to the music I like, walking and reading all the books I want to read without sacrificing the things that I love.”

There’s a sparkle in Boy’s eyes when he talks about the best times of his life. “The first thing that comes to mind was when I was working at the Metropolitan Theater,” he begins to relate. “I was getting my salary and so, I told my nanay (who was then living in Borongan, Eastern Samar) to visit me in Manila. She’d come visit me during summer. I will never forget the time we went at the back of the Luneta Grandstand  — nagdala kami ng folding bed, kuwentuhan kami ng kuwentuhan, di namin namalayan sumisikat na ang araw. Me and Nanay, we love to talk. And then I would take her to Shoemart to buy her clothes, she loves clothes and shoes. Those were happy moments, kinder, gentler moments.”

After what he’s gone through, Boy says that if there’s one thing he treasures most now, it’s time — time with God, with himself, with his loved ones.  “I’m happiest now when I’m home, sitting beside Nanay’s bed, being with her and with my partner.”

Nanay had dementia in 2010 at age 81. She has no loss of memory, but she’s repetitive and has difficulty dealing with the present though she has vivid memories of the past. They didn’t tell her that Boy was sick in the hospital, but when Boy got out, she asked him, “Magaling ka na ba?” “Now, everytime I’d leave the house she’d say, ‘Magdala ka ng payong,’” Boy relates.

Boy wishes he could go back to the time when he was a teen, before his father died. “I wish at 16, I had a job so I could afford to pay for the medical needs of my father.  He died of heart attack and some kind of cancer. We were a small family living in the province and we were financially challenged, but we were happy.”

Now, with plenty of time on his hands — and on his wrist — Boy is having the time of his life as the latest celebrity to endorse TechnoMarine. “I’ve been using it even before Raffy Florencio asked me to endorse it. It’s a marine watch and I love the sea. There’s a certain easiness about it. I and TechnoMarine, we have a kind of relationship that’s built on trust, it goes beyond the monetary aspect.”

TechnoMarine’s latest Cruise collections are bound to be all-time favorites as consumers break free from the conventional and make their mark in whatever endeavor they are in.

Recalling the time in showbiz when he was discriminated against  (because he’s Waray, he’s gay, and he’s not beautiful or a tisoy), Boy has most certainly made a mark in the local entertainment world. “I know I have made a mark when people don’t call me by my name; instead, they say ‘Susunod.’ I was walking inside our village and the garbage collectors, instead of calling out my name, said, ‘Tito Boy, ikaw na.’”

Boy also shares his other all-time favorites:

• All-time favorite books: 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, The Complete Collected Poems of Maya Angelou by Maya Angelou.

• All-time favorite movie: Citizen Kane (“I’m an old soul.”) and Ate Guy’s Himala.

• All-time favorite music: All of Me, A Song for You, Invisible, Bette Midler’s Coming Out of the Rain.

• All-time favorite food: Paksiw na isda with lots of ginger.

• All-time favorite motto: “When you learn, teach; when you get, give” by Maya Angelou.

Today, Boy doesn’t want to waste precious time. “I’d like to be able to train hosts. If I have time, I’d like to do pole dancing. I want to do pottery and floral arrangements.”

Boy would like to leave his mark as one of the toughest interviewers in local media. He’s also anxiously waiting for the time he could interview Hillary Clinton. “Suntok sa buwan, but if it’s gonna happen, it’s gonna happen,” he says with a long sigh. “We already sent our request and the point person said, ‘Yes, we will be talking. Let’s keep in touch.’  I thought the yes was already a yes (we could do the interview).”

For Boy, there’s still plenty of time to dream and make all his dreams come true.