‘Can I still get a virgin for a bride?’

DEAR EPPY,

I am 25 years old, single, an MBA graduate from a prestigious university.  I work for a market research firm.  Two years ago, a fresh graduate from a convent school joined the firm and was assigned to me as my assistant.  As my assistant, she had to come with me on field inspections.  On those occasions, I gave her a ride home. She was not a looker, but she had a sexy body.  One time, as I brought her home, she thanked me and kissed me on the lips before alighting from the car.

Another time, before we were to present a report to a major client, I asked her to stay after office hours to give our report one final review.  By the time we were done, we were the only ones left in the office. I thanked her for her good work and for staying overtime.  This time, I was the one who kissed her on the lips.  She did not react negatively.  I hugged her and kissed her passionately. 

After that, I always found reasons for her to work overtime.  Our torrid kissing graduated to heavy petting...

The next time circumstances allowed us to be alone in the office, we got really intimate and she did things to me I didn’t expect of a girl barely a year out of convent school. It was really a big surprise to me.  She eventually left the company to take further studies abroad. 

All that time I was fooling around with that girl, I was attracted to someone else.  She was with the Marketing Department of a client company.  As she was in charge of market research, I dealt with her a lot.  She was attractive and also had a sexy body.  She, too, came from a family of high station and was a graduate of a convent school known as the school of the children of the rich and high-ranking public officials.  I thought of courting her seriously.  So, I applied my charms on her and it seemed to have worked for we were soon dating and kissing.   One evening, while driving her home, I placed my right hand on her thigh.  Sensing no objection, my hand crept up higher... As we entered her subdivision she asked, “Do you want…?” and she unzipped my pants.  She had told me that she had only one suitor in the past, the friend of her male cousin, but the relationship did not go beyond group dates.  I think the opposite was true. 

My two encounters with convent school-bred girls gave me the impression that girls, regardless of their high station in society and conservative education under nuns, are like boys in that they have the same desire for sexual pleasures short of actual intercourse before marriage.

 So, do you think in this age, I could still find a girl, past her 22nd birthday from a buena familia, who got her entire education in a school run by nuns and whose body has not been touched lasciviously by a suitor?                 CONVENT GUY

DEAR CONVENT GUY,

Apparently, you had a great time with your two experiences.  Your story might be something every guy would want to experience.  At 25, you’re so excited about it that you just want to share it with the world. 

In this age and time, I actually have a guy writing me and asking me a question that implies, “Can I still get a virgin for a bride?”  So, what does that say about you finding a convent girl who has never been touched?  The fact that you asked that question says that men still have values of old.  Therefore, there are still women who have the same values.

Science taught me that I could never make any conclusion until I actually go out there and gather data.  Your two experiences don’t represent a million women and even more.  Two out of a million?  Calm yourself down.  There’s hope.  As a psychologist, I hear from women that they married their first boyfriends.  They never had sex before their husbands. 

All women, just like all men, are not alike.  There are men and women who live in this world in pursuit of making the world a better place to live in.  They don’t wait around to pounce on the first person to have sex with.  While there are other men and women who live their lives worrying about how terrible they are as human beings, that doesn’t give them time to think about the pleasures of sex with other people.  Then there are men and women whose need is to attract the next person and have sex with them to prove to themselves that they are worthy human beings. 

None of these people are wrong or right.  They are just the way they are.  There is a purpose to how they are as human beings.  As an older man to a younger man, I suggest that you don’t categorize people with regard to their background and their present behavior.  Virgin or not, buena familia or not, they have roles to play.  By categorizing, you might miss out on the person who will truly love you.

In the animation movie Prince of Egypt in 1998, one of the characters named Jethro said, “A single thread in a tapestry, though its color brightly shines, can never see its purpose in the pattern of the grand design.  And the stone that sits on the very top of the mountain’s mighty face, does it think it’s more important than the stones that form the base? So, how can you see what your life is worth, or where your value lies?  You can never see through the eyes of man ... You must look at your life, look at your life through Heaven’s eyes!”                      EPPY

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As a reminder, there is a group that provides a support group for people with addiction concerns (drugs, gambling, and sex) in Makati on May 5 at 2 p.m.  Please e-mail surrogathelfen@gmail.com or text 09476574487 for details.

E-mail eppygochangco@gmail.com.