I learned a very important lesson about the need to make a special ranking of oneself when a friend of mine shared that there was a need for mothers like me to love myself well.
I used to be so quick and proud to share with others my clear set of priorities that involved God, family, work, and others, and not put myself as part of it, thinking it would be far too selfish. As a mother, I thrived on serving my family, which brought me a lot of joy. My mentor and friend Leah Darwin though shared that I could only give more love if there was a lot of love to draw from my tiny heart. At first, I couldn’t get where she was coming from, but then after much explanation, I started to understand.
I know I have also found myself in situations where I utter words like, “Obey me, I’m so tired†or in disgust, I would warn my family not to cross my path as I had just done a great job of fixing up the house or putting together something special that required a lot of time for the family. Stress is triggered and is bound to explode when the resources of energy and life are low. That happens when our “love tank†is almost, if not empty.
I asked then how this could be remedied and since then, I have tried hard to take regular naps, exercise, eat right, have some quiet time alone communing with God, make time for weekly dates with my husband and children, and allow my parents to pamper me once in a while,etc. These have actually made me a happier and more positive person, mother, sister, friend, and more.
When my love tank is filled, I have more to give and it overflows especially to those around me. It isn’t selfish at all. Now, I realize it is a loving thing to actually look after oneself because other people get the best of you and not just what is left over.
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