Families that eat together stay together

MANILA, Philippines - Salo-salo refers not only to a meal but also the sharing of a meal. It is a word unique in our language and is part of our culture. Education Secretary and Lasallian Bro. Armin Luistro pointed this out at the launch of Famealy Matters — 50-Plus Stories of Everyday Intimacy at the Family Dining Table. The book is a collection of stories by a wide range of well-known personalities from the fields of business, government, media and entertainment, and compiled by the country’s top inspirational speaker and prolific author, Francis J. Kong.

In his story titled, “Two Families, Two Dining Experiences,” referring to his biological family as well as his religious family, Bro. Armin wrote: “We lived in a compound with my maternal grandparents and we were about 20 then, including our helpers. All 20 of us would eat together.” He goes on to note: “As a teacher, in fact, I have discovered that children who spend time with their parents during mealtimes have a very good sense of self and are well-rounded. It is because mealtimes are when we develop social graces and discipline, practice acts of generosity, and establish intimacies.”

A common thread that runs through the stories in the book, Kong observed, is that most of their life lessons were learned while sharing a meal around the dinner table. “In our house, no piece of furniture is more sacred than the dining table. It is a round one, glass-topped, with a lazy susan, big enough to seat six of the most important people in the world: my wife Pia, my sons Theo and John, my daughters Ally and Angeli, and myself,” Atty. Alex Lacson wrote in his piece, “Wonderfully Recharged, Wonderfully Connected.”

“Eating together as a family is something we do every day,” TV host and producer Daphne Oseña-Paez wrote in her piece, “The Best Conversations Are Over Meals.” “It doesn’t take much effort; it comes naturally. I didn’t have to come up with the rule or set up guidelines. We just do it because it is the only way I know how to have meals. I was raised by my parents to value mealtimes together,” she wrote.

Young professional basketball player Chris Tiu, who signs his name with the number #17, wrote in his story, “Becoming Champions in Life,” that “eating together as a family has always been a practice ever since I was a little kid. I remember my dad being very busy at work but despite that, he would come home for dinner then go back to work. This is how important family dinner is for us.”

Monde Nissin media and PR manager Gen. Aquino shared that all those who were asked to write their story “gamely gave their support.” She noted, “And because many Filipino families today are guilty for taking such moments for granted, we at Monde Nissin wish to remind them of the joys that come with sharing meals together through Famealy Matters.”

 “Food is sustenance for our bodies, but mealtimes are sustenance for our family,” magazine editor and writer Monique Buensalido, wrote in “A Celebration of Life, Love, and the Family.”

Popular celebrity endorser and TV personality Kris Aquino, raises the level of family bonding a notch higher when she wrote in “Meals and Memories” that she cook for her sons at least three times a week, recalling her own experience with her mom, former President Cory Aquino. “What really made our meals special for me was watching my mom cook.”

PLDT senior vice president Menardo “Butch” Jimenez Jr. gives the subject another spin in his piece, “Take Time to Eat with Your Children’s Friends.” He wrote: “Being a home of four rowdy boys, my house has become the barkada’s hangout … There’s something magical about joining your kids and their friends for meals. It makes your kids accept you more as one of them, and it gives you a chance to understand the world your kids live in.”

For film and TV actor John Lloyd Cruz, who lives in a gated village where he has his relatives as neighbors, there’s no need for words, as he wrote in his piece “Never Far Away From Home.”

“At home with my immediate family, mealtimes are relatively quiet. It’s not normal for us to make kwentuhan, but we sure know how to express our appreciation for each other through the delicious food. Iba yung nandyan sila; nararamdaman mo sila.”

“What’s important is not the food but the moments shared,” Kong remarked. His youngest daughter Rachel, who came with him to the book launch, attested to the fact that while they may not have a lot of time spent together at the dinner table, they do have a lot of family picnics in their bedroom.

“I often wonder how many families still bother to eat together. I’m guessing not that many –– and not through any fault of theirs, either. But I presume it’s getting harder and harder to make time for this old tradition –– a casualty of modern lifestyles,” food writer, JJ Yulo wrote in his piece, “Simple Joys and a Family of Taste Testers.”

It was in 2007 when Monde Nissin began its “Kainang Pamilya Mahalaga” campaign, “an advocacy that reminds Filipino families of the importance of having shared meals together.” In January this year, President Benigno Aquino III released Presidential Proclamation 326, designating every fourth Monday of September as Kainang Pamilya Mahalaga Day, in support of Monde Nissin’s advocacy.

It is also a decree in the Gokongwei family. In “Sunday Lunches with Dad and Mom,” Robina Gokongwei-Pe, president and COO of the Robinsons Retail Group, wrote:  “When my siblings, Lance, Lisa, Faith, Hope and Marcia, and I were still single, my dad gave us two life instructions. One was that after we get married, we must have lunch with our parents every Sunday…” She adds, “You can say that my dad is the one who looks forward to Sunday lunches because that’s when he sees all the young ones –– never mind if the parents are missing.” (Laughs)

In her piece, “Never a Dull Moment at Our Bonding Sessions,” Audrey Zubiri, wife and mother, wrote: “One day, our children will grow up. They will not remember the food they ate or the topics of conversation. But I hope that from these meals together, they will gather lessons and values every day to strengthen them and get them through their daily challenge.”  

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Famealy Matters: 50-Plus Stories of Everyday Intimacy at the Family Dining Table is available at National Book Store, Powerbooks, or through Anne Cristobal of Success Options Inc. (727-0291, 0920-9253348 or succssoptionsinc@yahoo.com).