A dad's New Year's resolution

Whether we like to admit it or not, we are all “title” conscious. It matters a great deal to us what kind of honorific is attached before our names. It’s a way by which many people like to measure their value as individuals. It’s also a way through which many people like to announce to the world who they are; how people are to expect them to act; and how they expect to be treated by others. Thus, we all strive to attain the highest title that we can reach whether it be President, Vice President, senator, congressman, mayor, councilor, chairman of the board, chief executive officer, most valuable player, lightweight boxing champion, etc. Once we attain the titles we aspire for, we also fight tooth and nail to keep them. Champion athletes train hard to defeat their challengers; businessmen constantly amass shares of stock to keep control of their companies; and some people even try to change their country’s Constitution just to hold on to power.

I, therefore, find it so significant, that J.C. Watts, a man who is seen by some as a dark-horse presidential candidate for the Republican Party in 2012, made this important statement in front of millions of Americans during the Republican Party’s national convention several years ago. He said, “There is one title I cherish a whole lot more than the title ‘Congressman,’ and that’s the title ... ‘Dad.’”

J.C. Watts has other “important” titles. He is a former four-term congressman and, to date, the last African-American Republican to have served in the US Congress. He is chairman of a consulting company that is, among other things, attempting to develop a television news channel that emphasizes news from an African-American perspective. He serves on the boards of the Boy Scouts of America, the United States Military Academy, Africare, BNSF Railway, Clear Channel Communications, Dillard’s and Terex Corporation. He writes a monthly sports column and is a frequent political commentator on many nationally-syndicated political talk shows. He was also a star quarterback at the University of Oklahoma and played professional football in the Canadian Football League. Yet one of his constant refrains is: “I’ve never needed to have anything other than the title of ‘Dad’ in front of my name to tell me who I am and what I should stand for.”

I think that his statements throw a very powerful challenge to us, not only as fathers, but as men as well. For perhaps our problem is that we do things in the reverse. We let our work define who we are and determine our priorities. We are businessmen or politicians first before we are fathers. Our title as fathers only becomes a convenient excuse later on when something stands in the way of money or politics and we have to do something dishonest or unethical. We then justify our acts by saying that we are only doing it “for the sake of our family.” Yet while all our other titles are bestowed upon us by other men, fatherhood is a title directly given to us by God. And because it is God-given, it follows that everything and anything that we should do in its name should be good. If we, therefore, adhere to Watts’ “Dad-first” principle, to be good fathers, it is also necessary to be honest and honorable men in the exercise of all our other titles, whether it is congressman, CEO, or clerk. In this sense, I don’t think that it’s really possible to be a good father and to be a corrupt politician, businessman or worker at the same time.

Fatherhood is a vocation, a calling. Though providing for the material needs of family is an important aspect, fatherhood is so much more than that. It’s a calling to try to make the world a better place especially now that we have a personal stake in its future through our children, their children, and their children’s children. When we freely chose to become dads, we took it as our primary obligation in life to be faithful and loving husbands; to love, nurture, and raise good and morally upright children; and as J.C. Watts alluded to, to live up to the ideals of our God-given title in everything else we do. And while many of our other titles in life are transient, the title of “Dad” is for life. We may become lousy fathers, but we can never really resign or we get impeached, fired, or excommunicated as dads. It’s not only in the blood; it’s in the soul as well.

I know that I will fail many times in this endeavor. And when I finally face my Creator at the final reckoning, I hope that he will give more weight to effort rather than to accomplishment. But I have to try. And so for my New Year’s resolution, I resolve to look in the mirror each morning and remind myself, before I put on all my other hats, of who I really am — a dad.

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