Cool tips on anger management
In the next three days, all roads lead to the cemeteries/memorial parks/columbaria as the living remember their dearly departed. And as the observance of All Saints’/All Souls’ Day (which some people refer to as the Pasko ng mga patay or the Christmas Day of the dead) heats up, remember to always keep your cool. If you’re headed to a cemetery, expect more than the usual traffic jams. Of course, some have smartened up and go either before Nov. 1 or after Nov. 2. Wise souls!
Truly, there are so many restless, angry souls out there and a lot of them drive cars. If you’re driving yourself, be as cool-headed as you possibly can, even if you meet the most obnoxious people on the face of the earth (and believe me, you’re bound to). Past events tell horror stories of the living joining their dead on All Saints’ Day, as a result of an altercation over parking space, for instance. Such a meaningless way to die!
We all can learn a thing or two about anger management. Adam Sandler, sentenced to an anger-management program in the movie, yes, Anger Management, learned his lesson the hard way.
The Mayo Clinic gives some cool tips on anger management, which you can probably try — that is, if nobody’s pointing a gun to your head:
• Take a “time out.” Although it may seem cliche, counting to 10 before reacting, or leaving the situation altogether, really can defuse your temper. (Repeat after me: 1, 2, 3, 4 ...)
• Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you’re about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets. (Or, as a certified shopaholic will tell you, when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.)
• Find ways to calm and soothe yourself. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as “take it easy.” You can also listen to music, paint, journal or do yoga.
• Once you’re calm, express your anger as soon as possible so that you aren’t left stewing. If you simply can’t express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person. (Don’t just sit there, get it off your chest.)
• Think carefully before you say anything so that you don’t end up saying something you’ll regret. Write a script and rehearse it so that you can stick to the issues. (Angry words hurled at someone cannot be “edited.”)
• Use “I” statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame. For instance, say “I’m upset you didn’t help with the housework this evening,” instead of, “You should have helped with the housework.” To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.
• Don’t hold a grudge. Forgive the other person. (Always remember you’re the better person.) It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
• Use humor to release tensions, such as imagining yourself or the other person in silly situations. Don’t use sarcasm, though — it’s just another form of unhealthy expression. (It always helps not to lose your sense of humor even when you’re on the verge of losing your sanity.)
• Keep an anger log. This will help you identify the kinds of situations that set you off and to monitor your reactions.
• Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up.
And always remember that a day above ground is always better.
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Feedback from an eggspert
Dear Consumerline,
I read with much interest Dr. Willie Ong’s list of healthy Pinoy foods. But allow me to comment on some food items.
• Soy. Soy fell from grace in 2006 when the American Heart Association declared that flavonoids in soy are not as healthy as we thought. True, it packs a lot of protein and the high calcium is mostly from the added calcium sulfate known commonly as plaster of Paris (think of figurines and chalk), but this is food-grade plaster of Paris, so the soybean industry would reassure us. The problem with soy is the high amount of phytates which bind calcium, iron, copper, and zinc, which leads to ostoeoporosis and anemia. It also attacks the thyroid which, in the long run, will lead to hypothyroidism. Giving soy infant formula is like giving five birth control pills. It will cause premature sexual development in girls and enhance feminine characteristics in boys. The Japanese did not eat soy as main food but added a little to their main entree or soup as condiment.
• Egg. Whoever gave the idea that egg is bad because of its high cholesterol content can be traced back to David Kritchevsky, the founding father of the lipid hypothesis, and Dr. William Kannel, then director of the Queen Mother of all lipid reasearch, the Framingham Heart Study. Kritchevsky used oxidized cholesterol in his experiments with rabbits. Dr. Kannel found out that in
Now, let me go back to the egg. The only bad dietary cholesterol is oxidized cholesterol. Egg yolk and whole milk contain healthy unoxidized cholesterol. Dr. Anthony Komaroff of the Harvard Health Letter stated that people who ate an egg a day are no more at risk of heart disease than those who ate less than once a week. Oxidized cholesterol, the form of cholesterol that induced fatty streaks in the experiments with rabbits, is unfortunately found in 2% milk, 1% milk, skim milk, powdered milk, and whey powder.
• Vitamin C. The daily vitamin C the body needs (60 mg.) is found in two medium-sized guavas or 12 pieces of calamansi.
Sincerely,
Angel S. Respicio, MD
Nutrition adviser
The Sleeplab at Hawaii Medical Center-West
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