Tutoring your child

One of the most memorable conversations I’ve had with my children lately transpired while tutoring them. I’m not an expert tutor and I have to admit I have a lot to learn in the area of tutoring my children. What makes tutoring so beneficial for me is the fact that it gives me a chance to talk about something that my children are exposed to for the most part of their weekdays. We are not confined to discussing assignments and projects — we also tackle their experiences of victory and defeat in school. I’ve also been able to come face-to-face with difficult issues that need to be explained, like in the areas of friendships, sexuality, and trivial matters such as clothing combinations and allowances. Many times, my opinion is not sought; just a listening ear is required. My children and I would share many laughs, what with the bloopers and new jokes they’ve picked up, and sometimes, tears would be shed.

I wouldn’t exchange tutoring my kids for anything, even if it requires a great deal from me. My husband Anthony assures me that I’m excused from my shortcomings as a tutor because I was never tutored as a child. That was not a fad during my time as it is nowadays.

Keep in mind the following tips when tutoring your child:

• Accept your limitations and be honest with your children.

• Assure them that you may not know all the answers to their inquiries, but you are committed to finding out the answers with them.

• Be systematic. Rosanna Llanado, who founded the Ahead Tutoring Center, shares that to make tutoring fun and successful at home, parents must provide a specific time and place at home for studying. This will prevent your child from being wooed by the bed, the television, computer or refrigerator. Children at the Ahead Tutoring Center finish their homework or lessons in an hour or two because they have gotten used to a routine and work environment where everyone is studying, so that schoolwork becomes easier to accomplish.

• Meet your child’s deepest need. My mentor and friend Leah Darwin attests that the arrival of her kids from school can make or break the rest of her and her kids’ time at home. She makes sure to stop working once they arrive and be available for her children. She reminds me again and again to be there for my kids but not in their faces. I’ve seen the remarkable effects of this suggestion as I experienced it with my children. Each of my children enters our home with a different mood. When I bombard them with lists of things to accomplish, they seem to resist me. When I just keep quiet and greet them with a smile and wait for them to relax and unwind after a tiring day at school, they seem to warm up easily to how I want the rest of the afternoon to flow.

• Honor learning styles. Teacher Fe Guchuico, The Learning Tree School’s administrator, believes that when parents honor their children’s learning styles, they pave way for harmonious tutoring moments with their kids. Find out if your child is a visual learner (they learn through seeing and think in pictures, flipcharts, and hand-outs), auditory learner (learn through listening to discussions and benefit from reading text aloud and using a tape recorder), or tactile/kinesthetic learner (learns best through hands-on approach by moving, doing, and touching, and is easily distracted by their need for activity and exploration).

• Make fun a goal to begin and end with. My children always ask me to give them time to play before sitting down to study. I also notice that when I am more relaxed with my approach to tutoring, my kids tend to cooperate faster. Anthony chooses to swordfight with the boys before discussing school. He tickles the girls to death and in a jiffy, work is done. Learning should be fun to make the lessons stick. Try it yourself. Enjoy!

* * *

E-mail me at mommytalk@businessworks.com.ph.