What wives are up to

I received tons of e-mail from different people regarding their thoughts on my previous articles about being wise with money. I was truly inspired after talking to my friend Emma Yuhico, a single mother and finance expert. She shared with me her views on money and why it is important for wives to seriously consider honing their skills in managing the family’s finances. Here’s a summary of what we talked about.

The reason why Filipinos are not very good in handling their finances has to do with our culture of spending rather than saving. According to Emma, we learned to have fiestas and siestas from the Spaniards while the Americans taught us how to spend our money through commercialism. To get out of this kind of mentality, wives must:

• Understand the value of money – that it is not a commodity. Money is a resource to accomplish a goal for evil or good. Emma reminds wives to realize the fact that 50 percent of married women will outlive their husbands because men have more complicated diseases and women are able to manage their emotions better. Wives as financial managers shouldn’t be so dependent on their husbands alone. They must help their husbands manage the finances well. In the event of her husband’s death, if the wife is a good finance manager, she will inherit wealth and not debt. Instead of receiving an empty bag (which is usually the case), she will receive a fortune.

• Assume the role of finance manager. The common misconception that wives have about money is that the husband is the provider and she is the spender. The ideal role of the wife is co-manager and financial steward, not the spender.

• Be a good role model. As the wife uses her family’s wealth or finances wisely, she teaches her children proper values and good finance management. The wife/mother should teach her children to save, buy only what her children needs and those that are within the family’s means, and to save for what they want to buy. Lizza Martinez, mother of my daughter’s classmate, says she lives below their means in order to teach her children the value of money.

• Look for better ways to make money earn. Wives should help their husbands invest their money in assets that earn instead of those that depreciate. Assets that earn include: mutual funds, purchases that can be sold for more than what you paid for them, etc. Jewelry and cars are not necessarily assets that earn.

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Calling All Wives

Speaking of wives, I learned from my friend Pinky Amador that Repertory Philippines has adapted acclaimed English funnyman Ray Cooney’s Whose Wife Is It Anyway? to a Philippine setting, the first time it has done such a thing in its history. With the Lawrence Olivier award-winning script and a cast of Rep’s most versatile stars, who are both sexy and neurotically in love with comedy, a law may just be passed against excessive laughter. It’s quite interesting that the cast includes real-life wives and mothers. Asked about their quality time with their kids and husbands, here’s what they have to say:

• Ana Abad Santos-Bitong: We have a very hectic life: My husband works and plays polo, my five-year-old son attends school, I do theater and events for Fila. But for me, there’s really no such thing as quality time. You just don’t know when those precious moments will happen so you gotta just spend as much time with your kids as you can.

• Pheona Baranda: Being separated and a single mom, I love being the sole breadwinner for my three young kids. I provide for their daily needs, help them study, take them to movies, watch TV with them, cook for them when I can, and pay for their education. This is all very fulfilling for me. Also, my babies are very open-minded and exposed. I’ve taken them to my rehearsals and shows all their lives.

• Marisse Borlaza: We have fun together. I love bonding, playing, and singing with my one- and four-year-olds. Because I do some personal rehearsals at home, the kids are inspired to play act showswith me. My boy can now carry a tune to the surprise of his yaya. And it makes me so happy when he sees a show and says, "That’s my mama!" I get tremendous energy from them.

• Joy Virata: Until my kids were in their teens, I was a stay-home mom. I didn’t have yayas. When I went out to dinners with my husband, my mom came to stay with them.  But quality time was going out of town on trips with them, on picnics, swimming, or to the beach.  They were my gang, my constant companions.  We were an outdoor kind of family. I also loved giving real spectacular birthday parties – creating cakes, games, and favors that would be fun for them and their guests. When they were really young, before they could read for themselves, bedtime was also book time. When I began to do theater, two of them were by my side. They also enjoyed being in theater. Now, I enjoy my grandchildren the same way except that it is more fun because I don’t have the stress of responsiblity. We spend as many weekends as we can together in our farm in Cavite.  We go swimming and to the movies. We go out to family dinners where everyone catches up on what everyone is doing.  A lot of laughter and teasing go on at these dinners. Together time is always fun time. 

Whose Wife Is It Anyway? opens on April 8 at Rep’s Globe Theater at Onstage in Greenbelt 1. For details, call the Rep office at 887-0710 or e-mail at rep@broline.com.

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E-mail author at mommy-talk@businessworks.com.ph.