Availability, not ability, makes all the difference

A few weeks ago, one of the most precious members of our Pangilinan clan died. Her name was Astrid. She was the mother of our panganay, Martha, our pet beagle. Astrid was my sister-in-law Donna’s dog until she gave her up for adoption when she and her family had to move to London for a while. Astrid found her home in Antipolo in my in-laws’ compound. I received several touching text messages from my Kuya Joseph that day she died and wanted to share them with you to inspire you to be available where your presence is most required.

The text reads:

Our dog, Astrid, died during fumigation. Timo was so sad. I embraced him and said, "Sorry, son. We didn’t take care of her." He cried, "I loved her! I even took a bath with her!"

Oh, if parents could just be there for kids, ready to listen, to love, to hug, to play with, yet never gripe, nag, scowl, pester or exasperate. Even the family dog could do that!

I am reminded of the many ways God provides for our children those things we cannot give to them. Availability, not ability, makes all the difference in the world.

Still On Magic Words

Hello, Ms. Laxa-Pangilinan!
I look forward to reading your column. Being a mother of two boys below three years old, I not only relate to your stories but appreciate your pearls of wisdom. Your December 10th column spoke about the magic word "please." I, too, am trying to instill manners in my toddler; what’s more important than using "please" is the actual tone of voice. I’ve heard my son screaming the word "please" when he’s demanding something. So now, I’m teaching him to ask politely/properly.

I also want to share with you a book on discipline that has positively changed my outlook on the matter. I realize that young parents want to be loving models of discipline, but we don’t necessarily know how. The book revolves around the fact that you can only discipline your child if you yourself are disciplined in your approach. The book then provides a workable framework that allows a parent to approach discipline situations with self-control, awareness, and an openness to find the best solution that preserves not only your dignity, but the child’s as well. The framework itself is very simple – its execution though, requires self-scrutiny and a true desire to be the best parent we can be when the going gets tough. The book is aptly titled Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky A. Bailey, PhD (psychology and early childhood ed).

God bless you and please keep writing!
– Sally Azanza

Got this e-mail through one of the parents subscribing to ParenthoodPhils@ yahoogroups.com. Thought that you might enjoy reading this trivia as we celebrate the eve of Christmas today.

Twelve Days Of Christmas: What’s It All About?

There is one Christmas carol that has always baffled me. Have you ever wondered whatThe Twelve Days of Christmas is all about?

What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won’t come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas? Today, I found out. From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: The surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church.

Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember. The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ. Two turtledoves were the Old and New Testaments. Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love. The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament. The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation. Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit: Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy. The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes. Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control. The 10 lords a-leaping were the Ten Commandments. The 11 pipers piping stood for the 11 faithful disciples. The 12 drummers drumming symbolized the 12 points of belief in The Apostles’ Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas carol. So pass it on if you wish.

God bless you and have a nice day!

– Mila

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E-mail me at mommytalk@businessworks.com.ph.