For a maximized time at practice I brought along her change of clothes, snacks, some toys, activity sheets, crayons and pencils and books for me to read. I took pride in carrying her stuff for her while I stood in the sidelines holding back my tears while the music played and she danced.
Often, we would go home really tired but truly refreshed. My babies would rush to me and then it was their turn to have ALL OF ME which Ella graciously allowed them to do so.
Lessons that include: having all her things ready and complete, being punctual ( we tried very hard on this one) working with her team and not trying to outshine others, sharing her toys while other girls wait for their part, offering her triumphs to God and acknowledging that all her skills and talents come from Him. Saying thank you when someone notices something nice about her or her work and though she may be in the company of her friends whom shes very familiar with, shes still our baby. This means that she may run off to them after shes asked permission from me and given indication where shes off to. Although I am there to assist her, she must work with me and not have the liberty to order me around Same goes for whoever chooses to assist her. Most of all, I wanted her to enjoy herself and find fulfillment in her work.
From the time I chose to see her through this experience, I embraced the role of being a stage mother and decided to give a positive twist to the negative label given to overly protective and concerned mothers of children who perform. There were times I apologized to Ella for snapping at her so that she would behave or not mess up her hair, etc. I constantly reminded myself not to smother her because I didnt want to loose the connection with her. I wanted our hearts to be one.
For the dress rehearsals we were told to bring our cameras and videocams for an opportunity to capture our childrens momentous recital before the actual show (where no cameras or videos were allowed). I made sure that everything was set the night before. My videocam, two charged batteries and all the costumes. I positioned my self strategically and fired away but no light turned on to confirm recording. After checking my machine, I was shocked to realize there was no tape in the videocam! I almost fainted at not being able to capture my babys magical moment on video. I tried to find out who to blame but realized that the energy could ruin the rest of Ellas "moment." As soon as I surrendered my worries to God, I remembered the camera I left in the car. I texted my driver to get some film and some friends willingly helped document the event for me. Im glad I made the decision to snap out of my frustration because it helped save the day and make it come out joyful.
Im glad that I shared my struggles during practice with other mothers (who also took pride in being there for their daughters and yes, loved being called SMAnabelle, Terri, & Marge). We supported each other and gathered strength for our girls to look forward to a glorious recital.
There were so many other loose ends especially during the day of the recital (when of course, everybody was excited and nervous). I also had lonely moments when I hoped to be thanked for my efforts or acknowledged for my work. When none of it came, I quietly cried my heart out to God and accepted that all had been attained by the joys found in the hearts of my husband and children when they saw a beautiful recital.
It was beautiful indeed and is something worth looking forward to again and again as each child ventures into his own quest for identity and becoming part of this lifefor his/her own shining moment