My almost-Kodak moment with Jeremy Renner

I was stalking Jeremy Renner. Sort of.

For the uninitiated, Renner is a Hollywood actor who has starred in several blockbuster movies like the recent Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol alongside Tom Cruise, S.W.A.T. (with Colin Farrell) and 28 Weeks Later, and he was nominated for an Oscar twice — for Best Actor in 2009 for his role in The Hurt Locker (the movie that took home Best Picture that year) and Best Supporting Actor in 2010 for The Town. He is an amazing and intense actor who happens to be very good-looking, to say the least. Following up Ghost Protocol, he’ll be playing Hawkeye in Marvel’s highly anticipated The Avengers.

Before I continue, it might be useful to make a full disclosure: I love him. When he appeared during his brief cameo as Hawkeye in the movie Thor, I was the only one who squealed: not only because I recognized the character, but also because it was Jeremy Renner. So I was already quite psyched when entertainment websites reported a year ago that he was to be the star of the new Bourne series. Suddenly, last week, reports and rumors swirled around Twitter, revealing that Renner, Edward Norton (another actor I love — but that’s another story altogether) and Rachel Weisz were shooting part of the movie here in the Philippines. I heard so many things that I didn’t know what to believe: a portion of EDSA would be closed. There were casting calls for extras. The stars were going to shoot in Marikina.

I had pushed the rumors to the back of my head when, a few days ago, as I was in the office late at night, my friend Mia suddenly called me from Makati and said in a low voice, “Don’t panic, but Jeremy Renner is here.”

I panicked (of course). I shrieked and shouted in glee as Mia recounted how she had approached him in the bar she was at and asked to take a picture with him. (You may have already seen this picture in the local news a few nights ago.) Just the night before, I had spent a good 20 minutes blabbing to her and a few friends about how I loved him and how I watched Ghost Protocol by myself on Christmas Eve just to support (and drool over) Renner.

Just a couple of days before, I was jokingly tweeting how I wanted to track him and Ed Norton down in Manila. Now, I actually knew where he was. How many times are Hollywood actors in the Philippines? More importantly: how many times are Hollywood actors that I worship in the Philippines? It was then that I hurriedly saved all my work files on my laptop, slapped it shut and stuffed it back into my bag as I sprinted out of the office. By hook or by crook, I was going to see Jeremy Renner in the flesh.

As I arrived at the place, I called Mia and she ran out. “Hurry! He’s leaving!” she said. I reached into my bag for my phone, and suddenly, there he was, standing at the entrance of the bar. “Oh. My. God,” I breathed. Brian Gamble, Sergeant First Class William James, fricking Hawkeye was standing in front of me, in a black round-neck shirt and jeans. He looked exactly as he does onscreen: strong, masculine, a bit gruff with beautiful but intense eyes. Tunay na lalake-hot. I would say bad boy-hot, but he is not a boy; he’s all man!

I just gaped at him as he began to walk off. Mia waved, trying to get his attention, but when he kept walking she jumped in front of him. “Hi! Hi! Um, wait — it’s me again!” she exclaimed, blocking his path. I almost died in mortification, but if anyone could do that to a movie star, it would be Mia. “Can she take a picture with you?” she asked, gesturing to me. I, unfortunately, was just discovering I was completely useless in front of Hollywood actors I had a crush on, and smiled dumbly.

Jeremy gave a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I’m just really tired.” Instantly, I felt horrible. The man was tired, and I was going to keep him from getting rest just to get a little documentation. A bit crushed, I let out a little sigh.

Then he nodded at Mia, looked at me and grinned. “How are you doing?” he asked kindly.

Mother of God. Jeremy Renner — Oscar-nominated actor, Hollywood action star and man of my dreams — had just smiled and talked to me.

Thankfully, I found it within myself to reply. “Okay! Um, thank you. It’s just that… I’m a really big fan, since S.W.A.T.” He chuckled. “Yeah?” I nodded and almost did the hand move he did in the movie (the one he used to greet Colin Farrell’s character) to prove it, but thankfully I was able to stop myself. Good thing too, because he was already extending his arm and one second later, he had his arm around me. As Mia started to take our picture, I smiled and tried to contain the excitement inside my head: Jeremy Renner is incredibly nice. He has his arm around me. He is so cute. I can’t believe this is really happening… “Okay!” announced Mia, and I immediately turned to Jeremy and thanked him profusely again. He nodded, still smiling, told us to have a good night and headed for the elevator.

As I watched him walk away, Mia suddenly said, “Um, did I get it?”

My heart stopped. I grabbed my phone, and — mother of all things unholy — there was no picture. Mia had not pressed the button hard enough. My heart shattered into a million pieces. It was as if I had picked all the right numbers and won the lottery, but someone had forgotten to deposit the ticket.

Mia’s eyes widened. “Oh, my God! I’ll get him back!” she said, but he was already in the elevator, and knowing that he was tired, I grabbed her hand and shook my head. As the room started spinning in my shock and disbelief, I called my friend Kich, a fellow Renner admirer, to share the news and to calm myself. As I told her, I started to replay the moment in my head and I couldn’t help but smile. Call it rationalization, but all I could think was: Jeremy Renner had talked to me and smiled, and even slung his arm around me. A Hollywood, Oscar-nominated actor that I loved. It was all good. In fact, it was great. While a picture would have been fantastic, not having one doesn’t mar the memory of his grin and the sheer, unbelievable giddiness rocking my whole body at that moment. Seriously, it still makes my knees a little bit weak. My only regret is that I wasn’t able to tell him how I admired the fact that he knows arnis, but generally I feel insanely lucky and happy to have met him.

Aside from the beautiful memories of my “Jeremy Renner moment,” there are a few other things I’ve learned from this experience:

• It pays to have a backup outfit ready in case you’re about to meet your Hollywood crush and you’re in a Starbucks statement tee and brogues (I was channeling geek chic that day).

• Every second counts — if I had hesitated for two minutes, I would have missed him completely and this would have been a very different and sad article.

• With my three-and-a-half-inch shoes on, I am the same height as Jeremy Renner, thus we are perfect for each other.

• My friend Cheryl said it perfectly: “If you follow the right people, you can find out anything and everything on Twitter.” True to form, she said this on Twitter. We must keep our eyes and ears open!

• When in doubt, take your own picture. (FYI: I forgave Mia. She will be receiving a long detailed lecture on how to properly press the button on my phone to take pictures.)