As the nation paused to remember its dearly departed, let us all remember the spirits that refuse to depart.
Let us remember that these spirits are lurking in the damp, cobweb-strewn bodegas, living in that gnarly old mango tree that the maya birds refuse to visit, hiding behind the cabinet where you stash your collection of videos that you cannot watch in polite company.
But more than remembering, let us take note that if we don’t find a way to get rid of them, they are going to find a way to get rid of you. Or get into you. Quite literally.
If that isn’t enough to get the hairs on all your unmentionables standing at attention, the next question you want to probably ask is: how do you get rid of these spirits?
Do you call a person packing a jumpsuit, a proton pack and an ‘80s hit song? Do you call a teenager with a pointy hat, a magic wand and a thunderbolt etched on his head? Or do you call on a man with an agimat (talisman), sideburns and a stilted speech pattern?
No. You call on Fr. Jose Francisco “Jocis” Syquia.
Underneath his mild-mannered persona as a fulltime formator, spiritual director and professor of the San Carlos Major Seminary, Fr. Jocis is the director of the Archdiocese of Manila Office of Exorcism. That means that he has the ecclesiastical authority to drive out demons. Yes, Fr. Jocis is an honest-to-Godness church superhero minus the leotards (as you may need special dispensation to wear leotards).
And there just might be a need for a hero with heavenly powers. Do you know why? Because the next major threat to the civilized world aside from global warming, international terrorist threats and novelty songs could be demonic infestation. Fr. Malachi Martin, who wrote Hostage to the Devil, said that there has been a 750-percent increase in the number of exorcisms performed between the early ‘60s and the mid ‘70s! In fact, Fr. Gabriele Amorth, the renowned chief exorcist of Rome (guess what his favorite movie is), says that the number of exorcisms he has performed has greatly increased as he has performed 20,000 of them in an eight-year span (and yet, we still see a proliferation of DOMs and DOMs-in-training).
In his book Exorcism: Encounters with the Paranormal and the Occult, Fr. Jocis details his own personal experiences with these spirits (and, quite obviously, none of these spirits had the disposition of Casper the Friendly Ghost). And what he has to say about these spirits, my three female readers, you might not really like. But guess what? Those spirits haven’t taken a liking to you either.
The Devil You Say? I recall when I was growing and moving from house to house, my yaya — master of fear tactics and domestic oppression — told me that each of the homes that we lived in were perfect fodder for a Regal shocker episode. We had dwende (dwarf) kingdoms taking up prime real estate in our balete tree, engkantos (elementals/nature spirits) doing the backstroke in our swimming pools and poltergeists lounging in our bedrooms. Book author and spellcaster Tony Perez says that these spirits/creatures of the night were mere “projections” from our own mind while elementals are “invisible” beings without souls that are bound to elements. But Fr. Jocis is of a differing (and goosebump-generating) opinion.
All of these “spirits” — be they engkantos or lamang-lupa or duwendes or kapres or tikbalangs or bangungots — are nothing short of biblical. You might not even be aware of it, but they all make guest appearances in Revelations Chapter 12, Verses 7 to 9 (albeit they appear without the use of their stage names):
“Then war broke out in heaven, Michael and his angels battled against the dragon. The dragon and its angels fought back, but they did not prevail and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. The huge dragon, the ancient serpent, who is called the Devil and Satan, who deceived the whole world, was thrown down to earth, and its angels were thrown down with it.”
Yep. All these spirits/creatures of the night/elementals were former angels who traded in their feathery wings and harps for leathery wings and pitchforks, backed the wrong dragon, took a major, major stumble from the Silver City and found themselves as some the first original squatters in nature. In short and in Catholic parlance, these fallen angels are all evil spirits. Or demons. According to Rome’s chief exorcist, “It is wrong to accept the prevalent notion that there are spiritual beings that are not mentioned in the Bible.”
And these less-than-benevolent creatures don’t only squat in nature — they can also squat inside a person’s body as well. Sometimes several squat in one person at the same time.
Possession Obsession. According to Fr. Jocis, possession is a state wherein demons take full control of a person’s body but not of their soul. They speak and act with the consent of the person who later has no knowledge of what transpired while he was under their control (these are usually the defense tactics used by most DOMs when they are charged with sexual harassment. It is either that or senility).
But how exactly does one get possessed? After all, nobody is a born DOM. Apparently, many of the local practices that are attributed to folk religiosity (a combination of Catholicism and pre-Christian animistic beliefs and practices) practically give these evil spirits a VIP ticket to party inside our bodies.
One of these local practices is when one consults occult practitioners like mananambals (spiritists), mangkukulams (witches and wizards), arbularyos (faith healers) and manghuhulas (fortune tellers) because you want to communicate with a long-deceased relative or want healing from a long-standing illness the powers or want to find out if they will ever, ever get a girlfriend in this lifetime (Okay, stop rubbing it in. — Resident No Girlfriend Since Birth) as these practices provide a direct line to one’s soul to be accessed by evil spirits because the “powers” that these occultists draw upon are not from God but from somewhere, ahem, less tasteful. (If one wants a direct line to God, he has a very easy hotline. It starts with the sign of the cross.)
Another practice that provides demons a complimentary ticket into our bodies is playing “games.” We are not talking about board games like Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit or Scrabble; rather games like (cue: eerie music) Ouija Board, Spirit of the Glass and (yes, it’s true) Spirit of the Ballpoint Pen. When you play games like these that call on “powers” that are not from God, then the only game you may end up playing is Hangman (and guess who is at the short end of the noose?).
Lastly, a demonic open-door policy into your anatomy can come through persons who desire to do you harm though occult means without your knowledge. For example, when a spurned lover employs the services of a mangkukulam (witches) to cast an evil spell against you or a person unwittingly consumes a gayuma (cursed object) with their food or if there is occult paraphernalia in your house such as amulets or anting-antings (talismans) that give evil spirits power. (Note to self: Remember to never, ever piss off Yaya.)
Tools of the trade. Like any superhero worth his salt, Fr. Jocis has his own “utility belt” (and, yes, he really does have salt in his utility belt. The consecrated kind). For the more action-oriented among you, his utility belt (or more appropriately known as his “exorcism kit”) may not have wooden stakes, shuriken (ninja star)-shaped crosses or machine gun holy water squirters. But what he has in his exorcism kit is still pretty darned effective (several hundred exorcisms and still counting).
The kit consists of a purple stole (which demonstrates the power of the ministerial priesthood), The Roman Ritual for Exorcism (a compilation of exorcism prayers that date back to the 3rd century A.D. and completed during the 17th century), the exorcism cross (a normal crucifix with a St. Benedict medal at the center), the Bible, holy water, holy oil, blessed salt, the rosary, a scapular, blessed candles, blessed incense, holy cards (especially those depicting St. Michael, the traditional archenemy of Satan), a manual of deliverance prayers, blessed religious medals like the St. Benedict medal (a Catholic sacramental medal that contains symbols related to the life of Saint Benedict of Nursia. Since the 17th century, the medal is particularly effective against evil spirits and most DOMs), the Miraculous Medal or the Medal of the Immaculate Conception, statues of the saints, first-class relics from the Saints (yes, a relic: a preserved body part. If my body parts were preserved, they would probably be effective as paperweights) and the consecrated host inside a pyx (a small round container) that is tied with a tough material and hung around the neck.
After Fr. Jocis lugs his two-ton exorcism backpack kit out of the Manila Office of Exorcism, he jumps (well, more like lumbers) into his exorcism mobile. Unfortunately, even if it has had a recent tune-up, the car more often that not fails to start. And it is not because of the weight of the exorcism kit. Francis Macnutt, author of Deliverance from Evil Spirits, relates that it is commonplace in the lore of exorcism for cars to break down for no apparent reason when the exorcist is bound for the place or the person to be exorcised. And I think mechanics are ill-prepared for ectoplasm gumming up car engines.
The Power of Three. So what indicates to a veteran exorcist that a demonic presence (or worse, “presences”) have invaded your personal real estate? Well, on top of the more obvious signs like detaching from your lower torso or your head spinning 360 degrees, Fr. Jocis uses three criteria to determine if the “case” is a real possession or if the person is practicing for the latest Regal horror entry into the Metro Manila film festival.
Psychiatric manifestation. A modern-day exorcist must have a rudimentary knowledge regarding psychological disorders (as well as parapsychology) to detect if the person’s illness is medical or fiendish in origin. Prior to any exorcism, Fr. Jocis interviews as many witnesses who are close to the “possessed” person as possible to ascertain if he or she exhibits behaviors similar to psychiatric illnesses such as split personalities, schizophrenia, hysteria, paranoia and manic depression. (Hmm, that being the case, I may not require an exorcism. But I may need a lobotomy.)
Parapsychological phenomena. The exorcist checks for any paranormal event that has happened both in the patient and around their vicinity such as displaying certain abilities that one never did before, levitation, performing improbable acrobatic feats, moving objects without touching them, bodily and facial contortions and change of voice (these are indications that can tell if the person is possessed or is a mutant). A clear test of this criterion is if one can suddenly speak fluent Latin (I don’t think Pig Latin counts. But you never know).
Aversion to the sacred. The exorcist checks for signs that that a person has strong negative reactions to sacred persons, places, objections and actions. Fr. Jocis recommends the following tests: replace the patient’s water with holy water without their knowledge; place exorcised salt in their food; or bless their clothes that they will be wearing. (Assignment: Try sprinkling holy water on DOMs and see if they will burst into flames. If that doesn’t work, a good wooden spike through the heart will do.)
Home Sweet Haunted Home. Aside from subtle signs such as the rooms bleeding blood, tormented howling coming from the insides of a toilet bowl and a house floating three feet from the ground, how can you tell if a house is haunted? According to Fr. Jocis, there are several reasons why there are paranormal disturbances in a household.
One reason could be entirely human (or mutant, as the case may be). Some “poltergeist” phenomena can be tied to a specific living person (often called an “agent”) who manifests powerful psychological abilities like telekinesis within the surrounding environment. The “agent” is usually an adolescent female undergoing hormonal changes. (No wonder we thought that old house of ours was haunted. It was my sister! I knew it! No wonder she scares me… She has been in a perpetual state of hormonal changes.)
But the more infernal reason for these paranormal disturbances is that these evil spirits which used to occupy old trees and mounds and shrubs where the house was built have been rudely displaced and have now become informal settlers in your home. And no court order is going to get them to leave. If you want to know where these spirits are squatting in your home, Fr. Jocis has a couple tips:
They prefer areas that are dirty and foul-smelling like toilets, garbage areas and the like (I am never going near my hamper again). They even have a penchant for clogging up drainage systems (I told my wife that it wasn’t all my fault).
They prefer darkly lit rooms (I will never switch off my lights again, electric bill be damned).
They prefer damp and unoccupied areas (Yaya will be rotating from room to room from now on).
They prefer to reside in old and large mirrors, and they usually manifest themselves through them. (So I am not just possessed by narcissism when I stare into our antique mirror?)
They prefer rooms with no blessed objects around and rooms where there are children. (Since I came across that reading, I have stocked my baby daughter’s rooms with so many blessed religious objects that she might think she was living in the Vatican.)
Lastly, these infesting spirits are drawn to all things electrical: they can cause inexplicable interference in electrical equipment like computers or even cause your lights to act up. (And I thought it was just poor service from my electricity provider. But come to think of it, my last electricity bill was positively infernal.)
* * *
For comments, suggestions or a ghost-busting proton machine, please e-mail ledesma.rj@gmail.com or visit www.rjledesma.net. Follow rjled on Twitter.