Awkward!” Is the word I would use to describe the moments I bump into men at the beauty salon — and not because there is no trace of makeup on my face and my hair is all wrapped up in a towel post-shampoo like a washed-out Sikh ghost; not because I’m fully swathed in a black PVC cape to catch drips of hair dye running down my temples like a melting Hexxus; not because I’m in a helmet of curlers looking like a middle American housewife going to Safeway; not because I’m pussyfooting around in flip-flops to protect my newly pedicured toenails like an aging ex-ballroom dancing champion; and definitely not because I’m reclined on the highchair with my neck arched all the way back having my eyebrows threaded like a POW in a torture chamber.
Women, after all are born to be in the beauty salon. It our home, so we get there wearing various versions of “house clothes.” No woman looks good entering the salon — trust me — precisely because we go there to get done up. We don’t care who we bump into because we know we are excused for appearing as our “organic” selves in the worst possible state of undone-ness.
So don’t jump back in surprise if you bump into a woman with no eyebrows going into the salon because she’s going to have those brows penciled in by the makeup artist. And please don’t act like you’ve never seen it before; I’m sure your wife looks exactly the same in the morning — brow-less — unless she’s already had them tattooed on.
Men, on the other hand, didn’t really have any business being in a beauty salon until, oh, about a decade or two ago. Before then, they were more comfortable in the barbershop, doing whatever it was they did to look the way they wanted.
These days, though, the cringe factor for me comes in seeing men with hair towel-wrapped, walking from the shampoo bowl to their seats. I guess it’s because we’re conditioned to see them wearing that towel around their hips, not their heads. Here’s the female mindset: towel on man’s hips — macho; towel on man’s head — medyo. I mean it makes them look like basang sisiw, for lack of a better word in English. It makes them look so vulnerable and benign. It’s like that little blue salon towel twirled about their head saps them of all their testosterone. It makes them look like they’re ready for “girlfriend” bonding with us over wine and chismis. It makes them look like sissies. Sorry.
Well, except for one man.
I go once a month to my mothership, Emphasis Salon, in Rockwell for my haircut and coloring, and I’ve seen so many male friends having services done there as well. I don’t know why, but among all it was only Store Specialist Incorporated’s Anton Huang who never looks sissy-ish with his head wrapped in that darned terry towel turban.
I bumped into him on the second floor and he greeted me in that typical warm yet dignified “Anton” fashion. I stopped in my tracks as he proceeded to take his seat thinking: He just might be the only man who still looks respectable in that hair contraption. The type that would make you jump into action the moment he delivers a request or command like any CEO would. Maybe it’s his voice — purposeful still in spite of that darned towel. Maybe it’s his demeanor — CEO-like at all times. Maybe because he simply is a highly regarded man, no matter his state of dress or undress.
Anyway, back to awkward. Who would want to see a man in a salon having his heels sandpapered by the foot-spa therapist as the skin and callous shavings drop in piles to the floor? Who would want to watch him getting a mani-pedi? Who would want to witness him getting a forearm wax or a unibrow threading? Doesn’t he have carburetors to inspect, screws to screw on, light bulbs to replace?
Like Michael Douglas said about his wife, Catherine Zeta Jones, and their marriage: “Everybody loves sausages but who wants to watch how they’re made? The secret to my lasting marriage with Catherine is separate bath and dressing rooms.”
Sure, we’re not talking about being up-close and personal with burping, farting men in salons but seeing them having toenails clipped and having stray hair plucked is just as bad — okay, well, it’s very, very close.
On a recent afternoon, I decided to finally talk to someone about my issues on male grooming and figure out why I can’t seem to coexist with them in salons and who better than Emphasis Salon owner, Teng Roma, who has all of 30 years experience in the business?
I asked him if men are simply more vain now, hence their openness about going to the salon and having services done in full view of the female clientele.
He said, “No, of course not. Men have always been vain; it’s just that it’s more accepted now. Also, in the olden days the hairstyles were very limited to short, pomaded buzz cuts that barbers could do. If you wanted more elaborate styles, you were considered gay. The rules on these things were so much stricter. Now you have everything: long, short, curly, wavy, layered, textured — name it. Men are as hair- and grooming-conscious as women, if not more so. Looking your best is important regardless of gender.”
I asked him if the preoccupation with looks escalates with advancing age. He said, “No. That concern is always there. We all want to look good. Midlife crisis for men manifests in their desire for younger girls — it’s always a girl issue. It might be sports cars for some but male midlife crisis is mostly if not always about getting a younger girl to boost self-esteem, image, etc. Of course, there’s more effort put into looking good. They come to the salon more often but there’s really not much we can do for those with buzz cuts. That’s a no-frills haircut so it’s quick and easy.”
I asked him what happens if a male client insists on a haircut that he doesn’t believe will suit the client. He said, “Well, I will try to convince him otherwise as much as I can. But if he still wants what he wants then I endorse him to our other stylists who may be more versed with the cut he wants. Also I don’t want to stamp my name on something I know will not look good on him.”
“What of those men who have comb-overs?” I asked him. “I want to say to them, ‘Let it be. Accept it.’ Look at me. My hair is thinning and graying, that’s why the crew cut. Clean and easy.”
I asked if there are salon treatments that can help reverse balding in men. He came right out and said, “None. Those scalp treatments and massages are all for well-being and relaxation and comfort. None of those will miraculously give rise to new hair follicles — sadly. But what they can do is invest time and effort in prevention. We offer treatments in the salon that strengthen hair follicles. The products we use keep them healthy and deeply rooted in the scalp. But once it’s already kalbo, goodbye!”
What do you advise men with gray hair, I asked? “Embrace it,” he said. “Look at me, I let it be. It’s liberating! You see many men with bad dye jobs. Actually, most dye jobs to cover gray hair looks bad because male hair is so short you can immediately tell when someone has a full head dye done.”
“What’s best for men with white hair to do then?” I asked.
“Having lowlights is better (the process involves using hair color in some sections of the head). They don’t look fake and the difference is not stark and not highly noticeable. We apply the lowlights in sections evenly around the head. That way the re-growth of the gray hair is not so obvious. It actually looks very nice when it’s done,” he explained.
After talking him up for some time, I finally felt comfortable enough to ask the real purpose of our chitchat. “Aren’t men uncomfortable being in the salon, I mean, with all these women?”
He chuckled. “In this day and age? Of course not. They are all my friends. Some them of I’ve known and serviced for 30 years. Several of my clients are already up to the third generation: from the lolo to the dad and mom to the apo — I cut all their hair. Come to think of it they are now more my friends than my clients. Plus, there are many private rooms upstairs if they want privacy. It’s you, my dear. You’re the one uncomfortable.”
“It’s that towel thing,” I said. “I can’t get past it.”
“Then don’t look!” he told me.
He’s right. It’s me, but I’m sure men would feel even more spooked to see women without the help of Christian Dior, Shu Uemura, Bobbi Brown, Laura Mercier and our salons.
So maybe Michael Douglas is right after all.
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Thank you for your letters. You may reach me at cecilelilles@yahoo.com.