Attraction incarnate

Mothers, get your daughters into a nunnery, lock them up in a sensory deprivation chamber, and fasten tightly their chastity belts.

Because Troy Dizon has come back to the Philippines.

Who is Troy Dizon, you ask? Aside from being a nursing graduate? Aside from serving in the United States Air Force? Aside from his cult-like following of fans worldwide? Well, Troy Dizon is — quite literally — an attractive man. Every single minute of the day.

Founder of www.247tattractive-man.com, Troy is so gosh-darn attractive that he makes the North and South Poles feel inadequate. If he was any more attractive, he would incarnate into another plane of existence.

Troy spreads his contagion of non-stop attractiveness to non-optional single men around the world. And, luckily enough, this Filipino-American has revisited the country that spawned him to educate scores of No Girlfriends Since Birth (NGSBs) and a few surviving DOMs to become more attractive not only to law enforcement agencies but also to the opposite sex as well.

Troy shared how he mutated from loser-since-birth to winner takes all, his charitable work and the importance of kili-kili (armpit) power.

Spreading The Gospel

PHILIPPINE STAR: Before we start this interview, can we clear the room of all groveling life forms? We cannot risk further contamination. So how many legions of NGSBs attended your indoctrination, este, seminar?

TROY DIZON: About eight to ten.

Eight to ten thousand?

No, about eight to ten people.

Only? What happened to the thousands of other NGSBs who would have wanted to attend, aside from being incarcerated in maximum security?

Well, we price our seminars pretty high.

You price it so high so that only DOMs can afford to attend?

That’s because we like to build a relationship with our client.

Is this the same type of relationship that a small-time businessmen builds a relationship with a 5-6?

If we wanted our teachings to be for mass consumption—

You would put something in the drinking water?

We would have just written an eBook. But that’s not the case. We want to develop a relationship with our clients.

And to think this all started off because the readers thought they could download free porn. Now, aside from Manila, where else have you spread your gospel of attractiveness to heathen single men?  

Oh, gosh, let me think. London, Amsterdam, Korea, Singapore and all over the United States — Los Angeles, San Francisco, Texas, New York, Chicago, Tennessee, Kentucky. Then I’m heading over to Sweden in February,

So Troy Dizon will soon be a global epidemic. I can’t wait until you make your way to North Korea. I understand that you had a two-day seminar in Manila? What was the curriculum? Was it something that Sec. Luistro would approve of?

The participants had to go through two days of intensive training, starting off with lessons that had to do with teaching them the five attributes of natural male power.

Natural male power? Does this have something to do with my kili-kili (underarms) and other areas of my body not regularly visited by sunlight?

And some of these participants were young so we had to—

Wait until these participants grew pubic hair?

Take them out the clubs and teach them how to do it in the clubs.

Teach them to grow pubic hair in the clubs?

In fact, our youngest client who came in was 15 years old.

Well, as Gary Lising always reminds us, you’re never to young to be a DOM.

But the general age group ranged from early 20’s to early 30’s.

Great! So there was no need to teach the other participants how to grow pubic hair. And what exactly was the composition of these attendees? Students? Government officials? Fugitives from justice?

There were some college students and there were young professionals. A good mix, I would say.

“A good mix”? Like a Molotov cocktail? And how much is the seminar? Do I have to win the lotto to attend the seminar?

I usually charge US$1,000 per client. But, of course, since I’m Filipino, I only charge P2,000 for the seminar. 

Thank you for choosing the Philippines for your charitable work. I think there are some people from Malacañang Palace who want to get in touch with you.

It’s my way of philanthropy.

We should put up a foundation in your name.

Maybe just a sperm bank. (Laughs)

I don’t think there would be vaults that would be large enough to accommodate your inventory.

Humble Beginnings

Aside from your animal sex appeal, your legions of groveling fans, and testicles that could double as wrecking balls, you look like a rather unassuming individual. What is your secret origin?

Plain and simple, I think every one of us grows up pretty okay.

You mean you all grew up with yayas sleeping beside you until after you sprouted pubic hair, too?

When we are young, it is very easy for us to communicate with the opposite sex. But as we grow up, it appears to get more complicated. For example, your parents stop you from doing things that you like.

Like adjusting yourself in public despite the discomfort.

Or our so-called friends telling us that we’re not worth it. I remember that when I was in high school in Manila, I sucked. I was with a bunch of friends who were really, like, into computer games and stuff like that. And I had to ditch them when I was in high school. I think if I didn’t ditch them in high school, I wouldn’t be here right now talking to you. 

You better take it easy with those putdowns. Those men could crush you in the pincer-like grip of their asymmetrical forearms.

I didn’t think that I was a loser. I just needed a change of mindset. So I did this little exercise—

I hope this little exercise did not involve bringing a submachine gun to campus grounds.

I did a self-inventory. Then it got better and better from there.

Did this inventory involve a sperm bank?

I wouldn’t be changing so many lives if I didn’t do an inventory of myself. People have to make some hard decisions. And this was a hard decision to make because I could no longer be a geek.

Yeah, geeks are such losers… like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, RJ Ledesma…

But eventually, men have to realize that women are out there looking for guys as well.

As opposed to looking for what? Farm animals?

All we need to do is untangle the complications and make it easier for them to get together.

I know, right? Who needs complications like common sense and good moral fiber? I am bit confused as to how you divide your time. I know that you are a nursing graduate. So you are a part-time nurse but a full-time attractive man?

I don’t need to be a nurse anymore. I spend all my time flying around the world teaching men to become attractive. It is just a passion. 

Sigh. When will they make you a UN Goodwill Ambassador? Do you have an idea of how many lemmings, este, people are following you now?

We have a premium membership plan that comes close to eighty. There is a huge mailing list and also a lot people who take our seminars. On the average, there are a 135 readers checking out our e-newsletters daily. 

Pretty soon you can launch your own party list group. What do you teach in your seminars that we can share that will not land you on a Most Wanted List?

What the 24/7 Attractive Man site covers is on lifestyle and fitness topics. It’s not a group that goes around teaching men how to cheat women. How could we build an organization that was based on that?

God forbid. I hope you don’t mind that I ask something more personal. But I promise you it has nothing to do with a sperm bank. Are you in a relationship right now?

Yes, I am.

And before your current girlfriend, how many previous relationships have you had? The relationships that did not involve farm animals?

She is my fourth serious relationship.

And how about the unserious relationships?

A lot.

Is this a lot that you can count with your fingers? Or a lot that needs to be verified by the Guinness Book of World Records?

About 273.

That’s 273 more than any NGSB will ever have. When did you start to realize that you could sell your skills at attracting women and some varieties of livestock?

When I realized that there was demand for it and that the demand would never change.

Because there is a geek born every minute.

You have to realize the way that our society is nowadays. Women need real men who can take charge, which is very challenging, given all those “feminist bombers” out there.

Feminist bombers? Are these women who strap themselves with TNT and are looking to mass exterminate the male geek population? I better avoid comic book and Star Wars conventions for the next several years.

Frankly, without real men taking charge, it’s a mess out there. And, trust me, it’s going to get worse over the next few years.

What do you mean, society lacks a lot of real men!? I feel offended — just because my wife made me bring my yaya along with me to this interview for security, does that make me any less of a man!?

I’m just glad that we’re here.

To save men for women?

I guess so.

What a martyr. So how did you end up teaching these “attraction” classes? 

After serving in the Air Force, I ended up in San Antonio, Texas. I didn’t have any friends over there so I met some over the Internet who needed to learn the “skills.” So I started a seminar in a little apartment building with 10 people, a fishbowl and $20.

I hope that none of the fish were abused during the seminar.  What type of fulfillment do you get from teaching men how to become attractive? Aside from the globe-trotting, the cult-like admiration and the thousands of dollars that go into your fishbowl?

I like seeing hope in the eyes of somebody who no longer has hope. And, or course, seeing a turnaround in their dating life.

We will make sure to share your hope for all the NGSBs out there, especially those who are still in life imprisonment.

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Check out the www.247attractiveman.com. If you can find the time.

Pick up a copy of my latest book Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Me? RJ Ledesma’s Imaginary Guide to Flirting, Body Language and Pick-Up Artists at National Bookstore and Powerbooks nationwide. For comments, suggestions, or if you would like to send me a Christmas gift, e-mail ledesma.rj@gmail.com or visit www.rjledesma.net.