Guy food

Hamburger” is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of guy food. I don’t know how I came up with this specific word association but it could be that burgers are a quick, get-up-and-go, fuss-free meal that don’t even present the need for eating utensils to be consum-ed. Plus, they’re greasy, calorie-rich, solid masses of beef — stuff that diet-crazed women normally shun — hence, ugga-bugga guy food.

 I have yet to meet a man who can resist a fresh-off-the-grill juicy burger. There’s something ritualistic about dressing one with condiments and relishes — the squirting of ketchup and mayo in concentric patterns; the piling on of tomato, onion, pickles, mushrooms, bacon, cheese, and every imaginable add-on for as long as it is edible; and the pressing down on the whole sandwich to make it fit into one’s mouth — and something primal about biting a mouthful off of a massive burger that adds to the carnivorous experience.

 My love affair with burgers started quite late because, in Davao where I grew up, we didn’t have much in the way of burgers back in the day. What we did have were more like flattened meatball sandwiches; I don’t think they were even 100-percent beef, probably ground pork and beef mixtures dressed with sweetish mayonnaise and banana ketchup in what looked and tasted more like a pan de sal than a bun. So it was always a treat to have what I considered the real deal back then — burgers in Manila!  

Here’s the beef: Charlie’s Grind and Grill in Kapitolyo, Pasig has outstanding burgers.

 Well, my burger horizons expanded when I started to travel. That was when I realized what I had been missing all along. My college years were a period of salvation because I was in the land of the almighty burger — the good ol’ US of A — where the making of burgers is an art form. Forget the trimmings of bacon, mushrooms, caramelized onion, truffles, and what have you; they only distract from the main act. A burger must simply be sirloin, cheddar and a bun — no window dressing. Let’s be purists.

Through the years I have come up with a list of my favorite burger places. Here they are:

 In Manila:

 McDonald’s. Still my go-to burger joint — any branch, any day. The Quarter Pounder with 100-percent beef patty, two slices of cheese, onions, pickles, mustard, and Heinz ketchup on a sesame seed bun served with fries and a drink sells for P130. Can’t go wrong.

 Charlie’s Grind and Grill. The unassuming burger location on East Kapitolyo Drive, Pasig — which shares a façade with a carwash — belies the gold mine that sits inside. The juicy, tender, flavorful Black Angus burger with fresh-cut fries is a steal at P175. Get your car washed as you wolf down a burger; get another one and yet another until the hose-down is finished or until you’re stuffed — whichever comes first.

 TGI Friday’s. A taste of America in a burger. One bite of their P345 cheeseburger with a char-grilled patty, Colby cheese and classic fixings is an instant throwback to my college days.

 In the US of A:

 In-N-Out. Is there anywhere else on the West Coast? Oh, don’t forget to order your burger “Animal Style,” which is only one of many options on their “Secret Menu.” Animal style means the patty is grilled with mustard plus additional burger toppings of pickles, extra spread, and grilled onions on top of the standards.

 Bill’s Place. This 40-year-old San Francisco institution on 2315 Clement St. cuts and grinds its own beef daily. The Famous Bill’s hamburger has lettuce, tomato, onion, dill pickles and cheese for $6.99. Bill’s Place is where the beef is.

Crouching diner, hidden burger: Hidden inside Le Parker Meridien, NYC, is a non-descript burger joint that serves up greatness on a bun.

 Umami Burger. The Burgers in this treasure of a joint at 4655 West Hollywood in the Los Feliz area of Los Angeles are to freakin’ die for. It is known to regulars as the “Oh F*** Burger” because that’s the first thing you say after your first bite. The truffle burger with Italian truffle cheese and truffle glaze on the patty is orgasmic. It is well worth the price at $11. Try it if you’re feeling fancy.

 Peter Luger Steak House. New York’s finest burger is found here at 178 Broadway in Brooklyn. The Luger-Burger of USDA prime, over half a pound on a bun, sells for $9.50. It’s around $2 each for extras like cheese, bacon and fries. This is hardcore burger for hardcore fanatics. It’s steak in a bun. You can’t get more manly “man food” than this one.

 Le Parker Meridien. Hidden in this swanky, midtown New York hotel, behind a curtain in the corner lobby is a secret snack bar (“The Burger Joint”) serving one of the best grilled burgers in New York City. The milk shakes aren’t bad either. Oh, forget the calories; have both.

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While we’re on the subject, here’s some burger trivia from Simon Majumdar, online dining and drinks correspondent, to make you even more of a burger expert than you already are: 

1. The Mongolians were the first to eat hamburgers.

We have Genghis Khan and his conquering hordes of horsemen to thank for the simple hamburger. While his nomadic troops were riding to battle, they would keep scraps of lamb or mutton, formed into patties, under their saddles to tenderize the meat. When they stopped to make camp, the horsemen would cook the patties over open flames or eat them raw. The dish was taken to Russia, where it became “steak tartare.” 

2. The Germans introduced the hamburger to America.

From Russia, the dish made its way to Germany, where pork or beef was used in the patties. Then the burger found its way to America via the crew and immigrant passengers of the German Hamburg-Amerika shipping line. On board, the passengers ate a dish of ground meat that was spiced and stretched out with onions and breadcrumbs.

The crews of the ships were often in port for a considerable time, and stalls were set up to take advantage of their homesickness, offering “steaks in the Hamburger style.”

 3. The average American eats 100 hamburgers a year.

Nearly three billion of these are sold by McDonald’s alone and, when you add in the other chains, diners and restaurants, it equates to a staggering 14 billion hamburgers sold in the US every single year.

 4. An Oklahoma farmer created the burger bun.

There is a lot of debate over where in the US the first hamburger, as we know it, was served, but there seems to be general agreement that Oscar Weber Bilby, a farmer from Tulsa, Oklahoma, was the first person to serve one on a bun.

Although, there are records of German immigrants serving grilled, ground meat patties between slices of bread, Oscar was the first known to serve them on a bun. In this case, his wife, Fanny, made the yeast buns. The hamburgers served at his Fourth of July party in 1891 were such a hit that he made a tradition of serving them every year. He opened a hamburger stand with his son, Leo, in 1933, and it still operates using the same grill on which those first hamburgers were cooked.

There you have it: the perfect guy food. Kind of makes you feel like having one right now, doesn’t it?

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Thank you for your letters. You may reach me at cecilelilles@yahoo.com.