The Monsters in my mind

I have not had a good night’s sleep since I was five years old. And it was all because of Freddie Aguilar.

I was young, naïve and partially circumcised when my parents made me watch Freddie Aguilar’s music video of Anak (Child) to impart the Pinoy family values of gratitude, forgiveness and martial law in the household. However, as far as I recall, Ka Freddie’s mug never even graced that video. Instead, the only image that was burned into my five-year-old neurons from that video was the image of a higante (giant) eating a little boy. Horrified, I asked my yaya what did that little boy do to deserve being turned into protein? She waved her head and told me that the higante was a kapre who ate little boys who did not obey their yayas. Yaya has had an iron grip on me ever since.

Since that incident, I found myself equally fascinated and terrified by these creatures of the night whose only desire was to use me as protein. I devoured Ripley’s Believe It Or Not comics and books on ghosts and monsters, read up on local supernatural legends in books like The Creatures of Philippine Lower Mythology and The Aswang Complex in Philippine Folklore and I was mesmerized by Regal Shocker and the Shake, Rattle and Roll movie series (I still involuntarily pee when I remember Irma Alegre as a manananggal).

As I got older and became fully circumcised, I took comfort in the fact that these “creatures” were merely figments of an overeager imagination fueled by hype and potboilers and a yaya with an agenda.

That is, until I spoke with Tony Perez.

Tony — visual artist, writer and playwright, founder and trainer of Spirit Questors — has written several books that serve as delightful bedtime reading, like Beings: Encounters of the Spirit Questors with Non-Human Entities and A Filipino Werewolf in Quezon City or Malagim Ang Gabi sa Sito Catacutan (Tony actively contributes to my lack of a good night’s sleep). A master’s candidate in clinical psychology at Ateneo de Manila University, Tony knows the inner workings of the brain (among other body parts) and with a master’s in religious studies from the Maryhill School of Theology, he can also categorize which sins each of your body part commits. 

To usher in the Halloween on a hair-raising note, I asked him to answer several questions that would set our pubic hair straight about our favorite creatures of local lore: Do aswangs and tikbalangs and kapres and tiyanaks and all those other squirmy, scaly things that only come out when you turn off the lights really exist?

Thinking of You

RJ LEDESMA (a.k.a. Yaya is my agimat): Sir Tony, it is so good to have you back in the flesh. But please do feel free to put your clothes back on. As per your advice, I now wear tawas (alum) to protect me from all sorts of harm: from underarm odor up to supernatural forces as well. My armpits have never felt so secure. I feel protected enough to ask you: Do these “creatures of the night” really exist? Or are they merely folklore? Oral traditions? Government conspiracies? Or oppressive tools used by yayas to make you kowtow to their fascist rule?

TONY PEREZ (a.k.a. Do you want to see my anting-anting?): These creatures are personifications of psychological neuroses. We can make our thoughts real, as in the Hebrew concept of dabar. These are what I call “thought-forms” or “astral or etheric manifestations.” However, do keep in mind that this is my interpretation and does not reflect the opinions and interpretations of other people.

So basically, the more neurotic you are, the more “creatures of the night” you unwittingly create?

In rural areas, people project their dysfunctions onto such creatures, thereby externalizing them without the skillful assistance of a psychotherapist. Note that there are fewer inmates at mental institutions in rural areas, and more in urban areas.

Where do all those creatures stay when they migrate to the city? Have they been hiding in my cupboard? Underneath my bed? In the part of my cabinet where I used to hide the men’s magazines?

They are everywhere — even where people aren’t.

That’s a truly comforting thought. So do any of these creatures of the night become OFWs? Can I find a kapre or a tikbalang making TNT (hiding) in the United States or in Europe or in the Middle East?

Yes. Everything migrates to wherever one migrates, because it is a part of one’s psyche.

It warms my heart to know that anywhere you find a neurotic Pinoy around the world, you will also find a manananggal nearby. So, if these “creatures” spring from your head, then does that mean their existence hinges on your belief in them? That the more that you believe in them, the more real they become?

When people continuously believe in them — and creative writers and visual artists pick up on them — they consequently become archetypes which are then imprinted in the collective unconscious and, subsequently, in one’s personal unconscious.

Naku, so that means the more I try to block them out of my mind, the more that I will tend to think about them, then the more that I make them real. I think I’m going to get an aneurysm. Does the way these creatures of the night are depicted by artists actually reflect how they look like in, um, “real life”?

You are now referring to predatory spirits. Predatory spirits are different from creatures of the night because they are tangible.

Haaaay. I may never, ever sleep again.

Monsters Inc.

Sir Tony, let’s talk neuroses. Tell me more about these creatures of the night. Don’t worry, I’m already wearing my adult diapers.

I will talk about these different “creatures” within the context of clinical psychology.

As long as these contexts don’t show up in my bedroom to eat my viscera, that’s perfectly all right with me.

Aswangs are shape shifters, typically men and women who morph into huge dogs, black cats, or bats when the need arises. These are, metaphorically, parallel to urban gays and lesbians who are unable to come out of their closets and liberate themselves.

Ooookay. For the safety of my viscera, I am going to stay away from any metaphorical or literal closets for the time being.

Manananggals are female predators who feed on the fetuses of pregnant women. These are, again metaphorically, urban, jealous old maids and female power trippers who delight in reprimanding and firing their subordinates for their smallest misdeeds.

Hmm… So sleeping beside yaya at night might be like sleeping beside the enemy. 

Kapres are tree spirits that are ambulatory and can enter people’s houses. These are, again metaphorically, urban voyeurs, sometimes exhibitionists.

I’ve seen some of these Kapres in the bankgetas (sidewalks) of Quiapo selling dibidis of hidden video sex scandals.

Tikbalang is either half-man/half-horse or half-man/half-goat, like RJ Ledes — oops, I mean, like Pan.

I can understand how some of my proportions can mislead you into thinking that I am half-horse.

I was thinking more half-goat. Metaphorically speaking, tikbalangs are the urban satyrs — which is of course, the male counterpart of the nymphomaniac.

Kaya pala parang hayop yung mga D.O.M. na yan e (No wonder those Dirty Old Men are like animals).

Nuno sa Punso is typically depicted as the gnome or troll who lives in an earth mound. These are the urban males who find pleasure only in masturbation because of feelings of insufficiency, inferiority and the inability to relate with another human being on a physical, sexual level. 

So that’s why many of those No Girlfriends Since Birth (NGSBs) smell like they’re soiled.

Tiyanak is a horrid infant creature like “Chucky” (from the Child’s Play horror film series — RJ’s note) said to be the transformations of abandoned babies. This is the projection of urban women who have had miscarriages or unwanted pregnancies, or urban women who have deep-seated guilt feelings due to abortion.

I see. Let’s talk more about the nuno sa punso or the dwendes (dwarves). I find them particularly interesting (although I hope they don’t find me particularly interesting) because dwarves appear in other cultures and countries as well. What accounts for these similarities?

When you mentioned dwende, an image of a particular part of your body crossed my mind. I wonder why…

Are you referring to my voice box? My voice sounds annoyingly shrill and high-pitched because some other body parts haven’t descended yet.

But I think I know what you mean. My serious answer is that there are parallel levels of existence on various astral magnitudes. It’s like picking up a mossy stone, inspecting it under a microscope, and discovering that there is an entire planet therein. Dwendes and higantes are merely the more “visible” types.

Okay, so now I have to avoid metaphorical closets full of aswangs, jealous old maids who can detach from their lower bodies, and mossy stones where a planet-full of dwendes could invade our dimension. Argghh, where is Ang Panday when you need him? I’ll even settle for Carlos J. Caparas if I have to.

Playtime

Sir Tony, if ever I saw a kapre right in front of me, I might instantaneously irrigate my bikini briefs out of sheer fright.    But to paraphrase the great Melanie Marquez, “Don’t judge the kapre, he’s not a book.” Applying her award-winning insight, what can we say about the disposition of these creatures? Are they benevolent or malevolent? Or they just are? 

Everyone has a light side and a dark side. All of us are created that way, as illustrated by the symbol of yin and yang. For example, the friendly bartender who mixes your tequila could very well be a nuno sa punso when he trudges home after hours.  

I wonder what that Nuno sa Punso will do once he gets home to his ant hill. My yaya tells me that you should be fearful if these creatures take a “liking” to you because they end up “playing” with you. And I’m not talking about jack en poy or Chinese garter. Their attraction to you could be a cause of your misfortune. How do you know if you are a target of their desires? Is it when they offer to buy you a drink?

Yes — in the same way you “feel” that someone is in love with you or trying to hit you up for a date.

At least when you go out with a manananggal, it’s like going on a double date. (Insert rim shot here.) My three female readers warn me that if you contract a sudden illness, it is quite possible that it was caused by a spurned dwende? How do you cure yourself of that illness?

My constant advice is to first have a checkup by a physician, and then by a psychotherapist, and then consult a guidance counselor or parish priest. If all else fails, the only indication is that you should go to an alternative healer.

Or you can always use Vicks Vapor Rub. My yaya says that it works with everything. I hear that you some people can even get “possessed” by dwendes? If these “creatures” are produced from your own mind, how do you end up possessing yourself? 

Possession is the amplification of a dormant archetype within the psyche. All characters and events that one has ever read about in stories — from childhood to the present time — are potential archetypes that can be amplified when the need arises. For example, when you are dating a girl you are unconsciously amplifying your Romeo archetype (or any other romantic character that you have fantasized about) within you.

So that means I can actually be possessed by Superman? No wonder I feel the urge to run around in a cape and wear my underwear on the outside of my pants.

There are also “exorcists” (who can exorcise the dwende from you) but I sincerely believe that, in the very end, it is the “possessed” person who “exorcises” himself or herself. Usually, (they exorcise themselves) when they have reached the point of boredom or exhaustion.

I know a lot of NGSBs who possess themselves at night and do grievous bodily harm to their forearms and other body parts. If you are the unfortunate target of the a creature of the night’s intentions — anthropological, amorous or otherwise — is there any way that you can protect yourself from harm? Like a buntot ng pagi (Stingray tail)? Body armor? Or do you hide underneath your yaya’s skirt?   

Indeed there are. You have warding spells, rituals, amulets, talismans, power objects (like crucifixes and the rosary) or almost anything tangible that can serve as a reminder to your subconscious that you are safe and that all is well.

Okay, I’m going to be stocking up on holy water, tawas and Vicks Vapor Rub this coming Halloween.

* * *

Visit Tony Perez’s website. If you dare. http://tonyperezphilippines.blogspot.com/.

For comments, suggestions, or, please text me at PM POGI <text message> to 2948 for Globe, Smart and Sun subscribers. Or you can email ledesma.rj@gmail.com or visit www.rjledesma.net and www.unomagazine.com.ph. Add me up on twitter, my twitter ID is rjled.