The outlaws of attraction

It’s an idea whose time has come: The 24-hour, seven-day-a-week attractive man. Because to be attractive any longer than that would violate the laws of physics.

But as their 24/7 Attractive Man blog boldly proclaims, “Be Social, Be Powerful and Be Charismatic. Anytime, anywhere.” And, may I add, without being delusional or schizophrenic. 

So it came to pass that I met with the progenitors of this site — a site which modestly claims to be the Philippine’s top dating service — whose presence was foretold in several apocalyptic texts. And apocalyptic is right. Because the Philippine dating scene begins and will probably end with them.

Playing Coaches

PHILIPPINE STAR: What do you guys call yourselves? Dating gurus? Manna from heaven? The four horsemen?

NASH (instructor for Asia-Pacific): We’re more of lifestyle slash dating coaches.

RAFAEL (Manila instructor): The reason that we’re called the 24/7 Attractive Man is that we are focused on tailoring our lifestyle so that it is just naturally attractive to people. And women, as well. They like it. 

So you guys are attractive to men, women and everything that has a working set of genitals. You truly are electromagnetic forces. Since you are “dating coaches,” does that mean that you are with your players when they are on the “court”? 

Hell, yeah! We hang out with guys, we teach them how to approach women, we talk to women and we party at the same time. 

Where would the Philippine population be without your assistance? When one of your students is out on a “date,” you guys are there to chaperone them? The same way that my yaya used to chaperone me?

No, no, no. (Laughs)

(Yaya stands up from the table and leaves in disgust. Nash didn’t even have a chance to use his electromagnetic powers on her.)

RAFAEL: When a “student” goes out on a date, they are already taught the basic “to do’s” and “not to do’s” and how to make the date more successful and livelier.

I can’t even fathom what those “not to do’s” might be. Don’t pick your nose? Don’t touch without asking permission? Please don’t call the police?

We tell them how to do it and then they give us feedback.

If the police allow them that one phone call.

For the students, it’s really about trial and error.

Let us hope that those trials can be resolved at the municipal trial court level. What makes what you “dating coaches” do different from those men who call themselves “pickup artists” (PUAs)? Is it the techniques that you employ to meet women? The number of women you are forced to go out with? The number of sexual harassment suits that remain unresolved?  

RAFAEL: There is a difference in methodology. With PUAs, their starting point comes from the idea that “you guys actually have a problem (with meeting women).” To solve that problem, PUAs have (stock) lines that will “end” everything. Those (lines) work for guys who don’t actually have much going for them.

(No Girlfriends Since Birth: Beggars can’t be choosers, you know.)  

But for us (dating coaches), why would you even want to get into that when you can actually be that kind of 24/7 attractive man? Why do you have to be Bruce Wayne by day and Batman by night…

When you can be Batman all the time? Awesome! I’d love to wear a cape, a cowl, spandex and my underwear on the outside of my clothes 24/7.

At the end of the day, it’s not exactly you, because you are just using all these lines. With our group, it’s the entirety of you as a person.

Bodily fluids and back hair growth and vestigial third nipples and all.

Twenty-four seven, whatever you are doing in your life, everything revolves around you.

The electromagnetic force is strong in this one.

NASH: We help you become your “better self.” Like we teach our students, “If you can’t love yourself, how can you expect women to love you?” 

(No Girlfriends Since Birth: We know how to love ourselves.) 

NASH: Just check our website (http://www.247attractiveblog.com/). “Approach Women, attract women, and seduce women like a true natural using natural social dynamics and not cheesy artificial pickup artist lines or pickup artist tricks. This is your daily resource on effective dating tips and techniques to successfully attract and seduce women naturally. All day, every day.”

I see now. The difference between yourselves and the PUAs are the number of unresolved sexual harassment suits.

Where You Belong

Aside from teaching your students the greatest hits of George Benson, your group also seems to be high-profile group versus more clandestine PUA groups? Is this because all of you have NBI clearances?

NASH: I believe we don’t have anything to hide. I believe that most of us are good guys.

As far as the NBI is concerned.

And the guys that we have worked with are pretty successful.

RAFAEL: Honesty is our best policy.

NASH: It’s always about being honest and genuine to women.

So are you saying that your group is more honest and genuine towards women versus PUAs, tsismis columnists and former presidents?

RAFAEL: Let’s put it this way: they (PUAs) have a seduction background. They like to follow methods and routines on how to seduce a woman. They formulate attraction into a science.

Just like mad scientists.

But for us, we know that women are attracted men because of how you make them feel towards you. What we want is that men don’t really need to do much (when it comes to women). We want men to generate a natural attraction.

As natural as an earthquake. Got it. 

NASH: Guys don’t realize that they have everything already. They just don’t know how to appreciate (themselves). So when they approach a girl, they don’t know how to talk to women. I’ve had some students whom I was quite surprised were signing up with us. But they signed up with us because they have a lot going on in their lives and they deserve to date better women.

My yaya’s still single, Nash. In case you wanna run after her.

We just need to help them figure out “what are your dimensions?”

Dimensions? Like length, width and height? 

We help them figure what are the things that make you attractive as a man.

So it takes a man to tell another man what makes him attractive to women.

RAFAEL: If you’ve got everything in your life going for you, girls will just feel like they belong to you more.

So men make women feel like that they are GMA-7, because that’s where they belong.

Think of it this way: how come in high school and in college, a lot of the girls loved the athletes and the guys who were in a band?

Because those women were cruel and insensitive and wanted nothing better that to stomp all over your kind, adolescent heart. Wait, I’m sorry you’re not talking about my high school and college life, right?

It was because these guys had something going for them. They had a vision and a goal and a passion. It was attractive and women wanted to be a part of that.

I had a passion to become the president of the high school debating team! Didn’t women want to be part of that?

So let’s say that I was an accountant by day and a PUA by night, I wouldn’t want anyone to know what my life was all about. So what’s attractive about that?

Attractive about being a PUA or being an accountant?

NASH: Sometimes the worst part of being a PUA is that you will actually lie. You might claim that you have done something (impressive) or that you know this person.  

If ever a PUA used my name to pick up women, I would be offended. Especially if there were no royalties involved. So, kapag nagkikita kayo ng mga PUA sa bar, nagkakasapakan ba kayo (When you see PUAs in a bar, do you engage in fisticuffs)?

RAFAEL: Hindi naman! (Laughs) Nagkakasuhulan lang (Not really, we just end up bribing our targets).

That’s the same feeling you get in Congress.

You’ve Got The Look

So on your non-attractive days off — if that is theoretically possible — what do you do? 

RAFAEL: I’m both a student and a dating coach.

NASH: I’m a manager at a Business Process Outsourcing (BPO) and a dating coach. Sometimes I manage to work out.

Do the people that you work with know that you are a dating coach?

Of course they do! Why would you lie about something that is beautiful, right?

I didn’t realize that there were aesthetic qualifications to become a dating coach.

If that makes you different, then that’s what makes you attractive.

(No Girlfriends Since Birth: We have horribly asymmetrical forearms.)

That would make you attractive as medical case studies. 

Who you are makes you attractive, if you know how to present yourself properly.

CARLO: I’m a full-time filmmaker. I hit the gym every now and then.

JOAQUI: I study bartending and am a part-time model. I go the gym three times a week.

It seems that, aside from being painfully attractive, another qualification towards becoming a dating coach is that you need to do some gym work?

CARLO: More or less, you have to take care of your body. Let’s face it: women don’t exactly go for “looks.” But they go for the look. You know, the overall package.

I’m sure many women think that you are quite a package.

What I’m talking about by saying “the package” is things like: Is your hair trimmed, are your nails cut, are you clean-shaven? You have to look like you practice good hygiene.

See, that’s why it’s good to have you yaya chaperone you on your dates. She can clip your nails while your date isn’t looking.

CARLO: You have to look healthy and physically fit.

NASH: Besides, how do you expect to become intimate with a woman if you can’t even run on a treadmill? What if your heart can’t take it? 

(Resident Dirty Old Man: You would be surprised.)

So Bad, It’s Good

Why do you guys do what you do? Is it for the profit? Is it for the ego? Is it to support the new administration?

NASH: To be honest, I just like to help a lot of guys. In Manila, there are a lot of good guys who would like to date a lot of good, quality women, but they get rejected simply because they don’t know the do’s and don’ts.

I’m surprised the good guys don’t know about the “Don’t pick your nose in front of your dates” rule. Can you tell me why good guys finish last when it comes to the dating game? They have stable jobs. They pepper their conversations with “po” and “opo.” They go to confession after leafing through dirty magazines. How can fate be so cruel?

One of the things we must realize is that women get bored easily. If you are going to ask the girl “Anong type mong lalaki (What is your type of guy)?” and they tell you, “Oh, I like the Prince Charming type, the one who gives me flowers and chocolate.” That’s not the truth.

You mean women don’t like the chocolate?

In reality, what women want is the frog!

Women are into interspecies dating?

They want something that is broken and they want to turn it into something that is beautiful.

So women want to be the epoxy of our lives pala.

They want a frog that they can turn into a prince. Without that challenge, we are turning off a woman’s motherly instinct. 

So all women have their inner sugar mommies? 

That’s my opinion, that women are attracted to the bad boys.

CARLO: As DJ Alvaro put it, maginoo pero mejo bastos (Respectful, but a bit crude).

So there’s still hope for an NGSB! He will finally get to go out on a date. As long as he is well mannered and lacks toilet training.

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Visit their website at www.maniladating.net. For comments, suggestions, or if you need a chaperone, please text me at PM POGI <text message> to 2948 for Globe, Smart and Sun subscribers. Or you can email ledesma.rj@gmail.com or visit www.rjledesma.net and www.unomagazine.com.ph. Add me up on twitter, my twitter ID is rjled.