Fatal attraxion

Spreading faster around the country than swine flu is the pandemic known as “the pick-up artist.”

Even probinsyanas are not safe. Every week a new chapter is scheduled to infect a province near you: pick-up artists are setting up seduction shops in Baguio, Cebu, Davao, Laguna, Pampanga and Tarlac. Even the Babuyan Islands will not be spared.

The legions of infected are spreading the bible of seduction to the downtrodden No Girlfriend Since Birth (NGSB) members and the Big-time Bigo sa Pag-Ibig (BTBP) whose forearms have become grossly asymmetrical after years of seeking solace via sex scandal videos. Be forewarned, my three female readers: remember all those men you made fun of, you ignored, you had placed under a temporary restraining order? Now it is time for them to wreak vengeance.

Because these men, if you can still call them men (because they are now far more — or less — than that), are the great deceivers. They may not have the countenance of matinee idol mugs; they may not have the articulated physiques of male bikini models; they may not have Swiss bank accounts; and they may not have good hygiene habits. There is a lot they may not have, but there is one thing they have a lot of: they’ve got game. More specifically, they each have a dog-eared copy of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-Up Artists by Neil Strauss.

For the woefully ignorant NGSB and BTBP members who have yet to come across this hallowed tome, The Game is an autobiography that chronicles several time-tested techniques from several of the world’s best pick-up artists (PUAs) to subvert the wills of the fairer sex more effectively than our President commands the wills of congressmen.

My three readers, if you are Star Trek Fans, then there is one thing philosophy espoused by both The Borg and the PUAs that you cannot ignore: resistance is futile. Nothing — not earplugs, not facial masks, not cyanide pills — will stop them from plying their trade on you.

Taking their inspiration from my favorite mutant super team, the name of the local PUA community is AttraXion arts. The “X” in attraction is not a spelling error; it is used for emphasis. To emphasize their mutant gene for seduction. And, just like superheroes, all PUAs employ code names to create an air of flair and mystery. And also to prevent potential lawsuits (I quote verbatim from their website: “We are part of International Community of Pick-Up Artists. Some call us dating coaches, social engineers, social scientists, dating specialists, or dating gurus... It doesn’t matter. What matters is what we do.”)

I had the opportunity, if not the honor, of interviewing three men who are irreparably re-engineering the dating and mating scene as we speak: X (co-founder), Smooth (lead instructor) and Charlatan (assistant to the lead instructor) of Attraxion Arts, a seduction community. And in this community, there is no barangay tanod.

Pick Of The Litter

RJ LEDESMA (a.k.a. Cadaver): I would like to thank all of you for coming out of hiding. There are so many negative connotations associated with being a PUA. It seems that the PUA is accorded the same level of respect as a male gigolo or an administration congressman. Let us finally justify the stereotype: just what is a PUA?

X: In our community, a PUA is the man that most women are really attracted to, and he can get any woman that we wants. He’s the type of guy who is always trying to improve himself and maximize his potentials (sic) as a person.

CHARLATAN: A PUA is an equalizer.

An equalizer? Sort of like an urban vigilante trying to atone for past sins by posting a newspaper ad that says “Odds against you? Got a problem? Call the equalizer?”

CHARLATAN:  We try to level the playing field. They say that what we do as PUAs is unfair because we are like con men. 

Yes, many Filipinos are allergic to anything that I preface by the word “con.”

But women can be unfair too, you know. They go for men who have the looks or who have the money.

You don’t say?

So we are just giving a chance to those who have been shortchanged in terms of money and looks. We are equalizing “the game.” In fact, my fellow PUA, Smooth, always says what we are doing is very noble. We are saving girls from boring guys.

On behalf of all the men who have been shortchanged, we would like to nominate you for sainthood.

SMOOTH: For me, to hang out with a PUA is a privilege. PUAs give off positive vibes because we are positive thinkers. We don’t manipulate and we don’t trick the women. What we do is give them choices — do they want us or do they not want us?

I think you call that a Hobson’s choice (“take it or leave it”). So is being a PUA really more of an art? Or a science? Or a gift from the dark arts? How many virgin hens did you have to sacrifice?

For example, the “cold” approach pick-up — it’s an art. You talk to her even if you don’t know her. And, from there, you become a friend. Then, you become a lover.

My, you guys sure don’t waste any time. Our chief executive would have loved it if you joined congress. So, how long does it take for you to go from friend to lover — five years or so, exclusive of jail time?

It depends. Based on our lessons, you have four hours to 10 hours to move from friend to lover.

X: It can even be as fast as 15, 20 minutes. Sometimes, it’s not all about speed. If you want the interaction to be fun, minsan pinapatagal mo (you make it last longer).

I don’t think the Dirty Old Men (DOM) have that much time left for fun.

But you need to keep the fire alive. Because if you keep the interaction going longer than necessary, you run the risk of having the fire put out.

I didn’t realize risking spontaneous combustion was so much fun.

SMOOTH: That’s why we have a guideline that the interaction should only last four to 10 hours. If it goes past 10 hours, then the phenomenon of LJBF (“Let’s Just Be Friends”) sets in.

OMG. Really?

Minsan, she wants you at first. Then she doesn’t want you anymore.

So before common sense, bad lighting and the police can stop her from making a rational decision, you have to work rapidly on your pick-up?

X: (Laughs) Exactly!  

CHARLATAN: Fire the reptilian mind of the female.

You guys are cold-blooded, I see.

Nothing More To Life

I’m curious, what did you do before you became a PUA? Aside from evading arrest.

SMOOTH: I used to be in the US military and I was engaged. But my relationship didn’t work out. After that, I decided to become a full-time PUA. Then I came back here in the Philippines to do PUA work here. 

That is great news for local law enforcement and women’s groups. You are paid to be a PUA?

Well, I do have students who pay me. But I do PUA work regardless. 

You’re a real trouper. So is your PUA work heavily subsidized by DOMs?

I actually have a client who is asking me to make a new PUA method for DOMs.

(Listen as DOMs around the country pump their wooden canes victoriously in the air while breathing deeply from their oxygen masks.)

How did you get into PUA in the first place? Were you picked on as a child? Were you rejected by Pinoy Big Brother? Were you trying to make the most out of your life insurance?

X: There was a guy from the US who came over here. He wasn’t really a PUA but he showed me “the moves” and I was blown away. I needed to learn this, I told myself. So I researched on the Internet, I bought The Game, and I studied all the seduction methods out there and applied them all. I would go out five nights a week and test each of the techniques, and I gradually developed a following in the community. Eventually, some of the members of the community paid me to teach him the seduction techniques.

SMOOTH: I signed up for a boot camp that was conducted by Mystery (one of the most influential PUAs in The Game. A “seduction” technique called “The Mystery Method” is named after him). He taught me everything I know. After the boot camp, I trained to become a better PUA in Europe, mostly in Spain. When I understood the structure of “the game,” I decided come back to the Philippines and I met up with X.

X: I was already running AttraXion Arts and then I met Smooth because I had a client who also took his boot camp and wanted both of us to meet. When we met, we measured each other up in terms of PUA skills, then we decided to partner up and spread the art of pick-up in the Philippines.

I think my three female readers just went into self-quarantine. How did you get along with women before you became a PUA? Were the only women whom you become intimate with either blown-up or highly pixelated?

CHARLATAN: Before I became a PUA, I was using pick-up skills but I wasn’t aware that was what I was doing it until I stumbled upon books about seduction. Then, every method that I was using started to gain a “name” from the books I read. Over the years, I have read literally hundreds of books about seduction, and my pick-up skills became even stronger.

Geez, this is what all those hot and haughty women have feared all their lives. A nerd who is taking revenge for all the times he has been rejected through reading about how to seduce women. Do you realize that you’ve weaponized literature?

SMOOTH: I was a nerd and I was mayabang. 

Hey, there’s nothing wrong… with being a nerd.

Now that I am a PUA, every time I approach a woman, I get her number, I make her a friend or I make her far more than a friend.

You make her a business partner in network marketing?

X: Now that I’m a PUA I can get the women that I want. But before, I just wanted the woman that I got.

I am glad that you are putting everything into proper perspective. 

I can say that I am fairly good-looking, ‘di ba?

Fairly.

So I’m the one being picked up by the girls. And, because I know this opportunity might never present itself again, I allowed myself to be picked up even if the girl was not my type. But the girls that I wanted rejected me most of the time. I got into the LJBF zone. It was very easy for me to approach women. But I couldn’t break the rapport and turn it into a sexual relationship until I stumbled upon The Game.

Didn’t one of your mentors happen to make a Senate appearance a couple of weeks ago?

After that, it was now like nine out of 10 whenever I approached women. 

CHARLATAN: I was very average. I would say that I was six to seven out of 10. But now, it’s like nine out of 10. 

I see you guys have managed to seduce statistics as well. I think the congressmen who voted for House Bill 1109 would like to sign up for some PUA training. They need to work the game on 17 out of 23 senators.

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For comments, suggestions or if you just want to be friends, please text PM POGI <text message> to 2948 for Globe, Smart and Sun subscribers. Or email ledesma.rj@gmail.com or visit www.rjledesma.net.

You can contact AttraXion Arts at 0922-8247476 or their seeezling hotline 707-8475 or register at their website www.attraxionarts.com to receive free dating tips and advice on how to join their community. If you dare.