Ain’t no high and lo’ no more in Boracay

Every time my Darleng walks on Boracay sand, she gushes that God must love Filipinos so much He gave us the best beach in the world. I have collected sand from all the beaches I’ve visited here and abroad — 42 and counting. (I know, I know, I can hear the environmentalists protesting.) It’s not much really, just a fistfull each time, which I place in antique medicine bottles when I get home. They are really quite a sight and precious to me. From our luxurious Amanpulo to the touristy beaches of Bali to the famous French Riviera (just tiny pebbles, really), the sand from our very own Boracay is hands down the whitest and finest of all. And doesn’t it amaze you that Boracay sand never gets hot so that you can walk barefoot on it anytime of the day?

A dogmatic (a.k.a. boring) male friend, who works daily in Hermes ties and Ferragamo shoes, regards the beach as a mere setting for walking barefoot and donning an undershirt. And he swears he can even eat with his hands in Boracay, which he will never dare do at home!

“Why?” Mary Ann once asked him.

“I just become a completely different person when I am there. And it is a feeling I do not get anywhere else,” he said.

One Boracay junkie said Station 1 is for the sosyals, station 3 is for the jologs, and station 2 is for the confused. “It is one rare place where the crowd is so mixed, you have the jologs, the sosyals, the jologs pretending to be sosyals (Darleng says that’s me) and the sosyals pretending to be jologs (and that’s the dogmatic man, she says). I guess that is another good thing about Boracay. Everyone just feels comfortable and simply blends in.

Another thing I like about Boracay is its range of accommodations (and food joints) that would suit any budget, from a P200-a-day bed to a $3,000-a-day suite. I can be comfortable in any accommodation, and I am blessed with a traveling partner (my Darleng, of course) who can both rough it up and dress in silk when she has to. Though she has basic requirements like hot showers, a clean toilet and bed sheets, she brings her own Lysol and rubbing alcohol.

By the way, Darleng has one travel tip to those with champagne taste and beer budget (I say that’s her): Bring your thick fluffy towel and fine bed sheet (1000 thread count, if you have) and a scented candle or oil burner with you. She says you could tell the star of a hotel by its towels and bed sheets. That once you have showered and turned off the lights, it actually feels like being in a five-star hotel. I guess following her logic, it would also help if you were blind.

On our last visit to Boracay flying via Seair from Clark, we went with our son and were booked at Escondido Resort. Escondido, meaning hidden or concealed in Spanish, is not a beachfront property. It is tucked behind Boracay’s church, and is just a 10-minute walk to the beach, passing through an iskinita (narrow path) to the front resorts of Station 1. Spacious air-conditioned rooms with big narra beds, mini-ref, safe, individual toilet and shower with hot water, a terrace for smoking or for breakfast service, dedicated staff, clean surroundings, and fresh bed sheets and towels daily. Escondido has everything that matters even to a jaded traveler, though nothing either fancy or luxurious. It is as basic as one can get, and the rates are naturally very reasonable.

But they have one edge, very hard to find in other resorts, even in the upscale ones. And this, Mary Ann insists, is Escondido’s good or best side. If you are like my Darleng who wish they have a beach house to entertain friends but cannot afford to buy and maintain it, Escondido is the perfect place for you. Its setup is very casual and relaxed. There’s nothing intimidating about it unlike at other resorts. It is modern in its amenities yet uniquely traditional Filipino in style. Escondido proudly exhibits the Filipino heritage in its entire interiors, with all its decor and furnishings coming from the different regions of the country. The staff is very courteous yet accommodatingly dutiful, looking after us like we were personal houseguests. And if you book all the 14 rooms, bring the whole clan or barkada and you have your own beach house. No nasty rules, no dress code, and you can party all night.

When I first heard Escondido’s specialty is crabs — in fact its dining area is called Boracay Crab House, a popular eating destination famous for its crab dishes — I was honestly apprehensive about staying there. Crabs are not in my mentality (pun intended). I am allergic to crustaceans, but my Darleng’s liking to them borders on obsession. She loves ’em to the claws, and so, naturally, my hesitation gave way to her heart’s content. Oh well, I can always go out to eat, I silently consoled myself.

On our first night, we were served Escondido Crab (one of 12 ways to have crabs on its menu); lapu-lapu sinigang; Ilocano bagnet (a.k.a. lechon kawali) served with its accompaniment of chopped tomato, shallots and fish bagoong; higado (a pork-liver dish); and alugbati salad. On our other two meals there, Mary Ann had her fill of four other crab dishes: Boracay Crab House Special, shantung, chili garlic, and black pepper; while I, on the other hand, had equally a feast of its meat offerings like crispy pata, kare-kare, bulalo, grilled oysters, pinakbet, and dinakdakan (the Ilocanos’ answer to the Pampango’s sisig, with the former having a dollop of creamy pig’s brain for good measure). The downside was, while I cannot even get a whiff of the crab dishes, my better half (pun coming), was always finishing off the other half of my plate. (Life is sometimes unfair.) The upside of Boracay Crab House, though, is its flexibility to cater to any food request by its guests. Even if it’s not on the menu, just tell the staff and it would be most likely granted. One morning, I saw oysters in the wet market and requested fresh oysters for dinner. They were very big and fresh. If barbecue is your fancy, just order your meats and have your own private barbecue party in the garden. You want an entire lechon, they will arrange that for you, too.

The three owners, husband and wife Greg and Chiclet Keyser and the latter’s childhood friend May Velilla, run and manage the place, which was originally meant to be their beach house. That explains why the ambiance and the service and the food were so much like being at home. Chiclet is in charge of cooking. She is originally from Cagayan of Ilocano parents. It’s no wonder she does excellent G.I. (genuine Ilocano) dishes, like bagnet, pinakbet, higado, and dinakdakan. She also does a mean chicken and pork adobo and does her own longanisa, which we tried one morning for breakfast. My Darleng had always thought Ilocano food is mostly vegetables, which she is not fond of particularly, and finds it hard to believe all that wonderful food — she especially likes the dinakdakan, which is something new to her — was Ilocano cooking.

After a couple of days’ fill of native food, we naturally craved for some wine and food to match it. Faced with so many choices, we finally agreed on Spanish cuisine. We worked an appetite by walking by the beach all the way down Station 2 to Dos Mestizos. It was a good thing we came early. In half an hour, the place was packed with diners of different ages and nationalities.

Being a Saturday evening, Dos Mestizos was having a tapas buffet night (P350 per), with some 12 to 15 kinds of tapas served, like premises-made chorizos, seashells, squid, croquetas, paté, fried baby galunggong, kinilaw, etc, which we downed with a nice Rioja and chilled sangria for the lady. Its chef patron Binggoy Remedios is very hands-on in running his joint. He himself goes to market every morning and plans the menu depending on the catch of the day, plus the 21 kinds of regular tapas and five paella variants on the a la carte menu. He is ably assisted by his brother Chuck Remedios and nephew chef André Malarky. (No wonder Mary Ann insists she spotted three good-looking mestizos.) Its signature paella negra with fresh squid ink is topped with calamares served with aioli (homemade mayonnaise with garlic).

Dos Mestizos, in my opinion, is a must-try place in Boracay if you want a taste of the Iberian peninsula or just for a copita of Rioja. Its edge over other food joints is those tres mestizos certainly know what they are doing in the kitchen. By the way, a branch was recently opened at the Fairways called Al Andaluz featuring Andalucian (southern Spanish) cuisine.

Indeed Boracay is for everyone, from sun lovers to beach bums to foodies, come rain or shine.

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Escondidio Beach Resort is at Station 1, Balabag, Boracay, behind Boracay Church. For inquiries, (036)288-4777, or its Manila office at 376-4535 and 411-4448.

Dos Mestizos is along Alice in Wonderland St. (honest, that’s the name!), right beside the Boracay Ice Plant at Station 2. For inquiries, call (036)288-5786

Call the Seair Manila reservations office at 849-0100 or visit its website at www.flyseair.com for special packages.