Loco over Rocco

The night before the event, I asked hubby Claude who was the guest chef.

"Some New York celebrity chef of Italian descent," he answered.

A celebrity chef from New York! To me, that says it all. I didn’t have to ask anymore for his specialty or even for his name. As the song goes, if you can make it in New York, you’ll make it anywhere. I put out my unflattering loose and comfy pants and my expandable belt bag as I knew there would be lots of pasta and bread.

"By the way, they say he was voted the sexiest chef alive," he added unenthusiastically.

"To me, you are the sexiest chef ever," I said. Though, on hearing I would meet a sexy chef, I, of course, also put out my makeup kit before I went to bed with my huggable chef.

I must admit I have a weakness for chefs. Even before I met Claude, I already knew I wanted to marry a kusinero. Not a chef, because back in the early 1990s, only Caucasians were called chefs. Pinoys had to be content with the title cook or kusinero. And since I only wanted a Pinoy for a hubby (and that was non-negotiable), I was desperately seeking for a kusinero. I always find a man with a sandok very sexy, his love handles included.

But chef Rocco DiSpirito was more sexy and good-looking than I thought or imagined. He is sexy even without a sandok. When he strutted into the room, I thought he was a model or a Hollywood actor. Certainly, he didn’t look like a chef to me. He has no fat in his body. I do not like lean chefs because that means they don’t cook good and delicious enough for them to eat. While most chefs are normally happy to cover their potbellies with a starched chef’s uniform, chef Rocco came in really tight denims and Paul Smith cotton shirt that outlined his muscles.

"He’s so gorgeous," I thought.

"My gosh. He looks a lot better than his poster photo," said the married woman next to me, as I thought she would pinch me to contain her excitement.

He flashed a toothpaste-commercial smile, and gals and gays swooned. Spotlights and cameras started to flash. People drew closer to him. More people came, more cameras clicked, and more ready smiles he threw to his awed audience. He was obviously enjoying all the fuss and attention.

He likened Filipinos to Italians. That is, both are happy people who love to get together and gather around the dining table.

And unlike the heavyweight boxer Frazier who admitted he was scared more of our balut than of Muhammad Ali, chef Rocco was unfazed about our balut.

"It tasted just like a hard-boiled egg. I even liked the head," he said.

One asked what he would cook to seduce a woman.

"This chef does not have to cook to seduce a woman," I thought.

"I will do a risotto," he said. "Because a risotto takes 45 minutes to stir and by the time I finish stirring, the woman would have been smitten," he added.

Like a much-sought-after celebrity, he was asked to autograph several copies of his book Rocco’s 5 Minute Flavor.

When he came near us, I put my hand above his waist, near his belly button, to feel his abs, and asked him, "How do you keep your body so fit? You do not eat the food you cook?" It was actually just an excuse for me to touch him.

"Oh, I do a lot of sports," he said. "I am a tri-athlete."

"Oh, me, too," I said.

"Really?" he asked, with so much interest. "Where?"

Petrified he would ask me about triathlon, where I had no idea whatsoever, I quickly said, "I eat, I smoke and I drink."

He laughed and left me fast. "Some dangerous wicked woman," he must have thought of me. He then went around for more photos and then disappeared.

"That’s it?" Claude almost barked at me like it was my fault. "How do we know he is truly a great chef if we do not try his cooking? No doubt, he looks good but good looks don’t make a chef. I came here to eat and not to ogle him like you gals."

"Hmmm, jelling ka lang," said another lady seated to my right. Looking around, it seems my Darleng was the only other man present. There were more people from the fashion world, and you could tell from their anorexic figures they were not much into food.

"Nakakaloko, pagkaguwapo ni Rocco," I said, as I was reading his dedication on my 5 Minute Flavor cookbook.

"Dear Mary Ann, 5 minutes is all it takes. Rocco."

Thirty-nine-year-old chef Rocco is famous for his Italian-American recipes, and he uses a lot of Asian ingredients in his cooking. He has won many cooking awards, and has authored several best-selling cookbooks, which are available in our local bookstores. He was also the star of the former reality TV show, The Restaurant.

That event was a feast for the eyes only. The chef sent butterflies to the (ladies’) stomachs, instead of food. And I am certainly not complaining.

Chicken With Lemon, Capers, And Red Onions

chicken breast, thinly sliced to ensure quick cooking
salt
pepper
eggs
flour
butter
oil
lime juice
capers
Season with salt and pepper the thinly sliced chicken breast on both sides.
Coat the chicken with the egg, then dredge in flour. Remove excess flour.

In a heated pan, melt the butter. Add oil to prevent the butter from burning. Pan-fry the chicken until golden brown. Set aside.

In the same pan, mix in the lime juice, and add the capers. Season.

Pour the sauce over the pan-fried chicken. Serve.

Shrimp And Noodle Sate Saute

oil
bacon
prawns, cleaned and deveined
store-bought satay sauce
glass noodles, soaked in hot water
mustard leaves
salt
pepper
In a heated pan, add a little oil and bacon.
Add the prawns. When the prawns turn pink, you may add the satay sauce.
Toss in the cooked glass noodles.
Add in the mustard leaves, and cook until a little wilted.
Season with salt and pepper, and serve.