To each his own Valentine

Here in the Philippines, we take Valentine’s Day seriously. I remember during my flying days, arriving at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport on Feb 14 at 6:30 p.m. Just as we landed, the Filipino passengers, all in bright red, excitedly rushed out of the plane. At the airport, we were greeted "Happy Valentine’s Day," by the janitor, and the immigration and customs officials. Can you imagine a Hong Kong or a United States immigration officer greeting you this way?

A British pilot who passed through customs with me was so amused. "You are a very happy-go-lucky people," he said.

"Yes and very romantic," I replied.

"Very nice indeed," he said.

"Wait until we hit the road," I warned.

It was past 7 p.m. when we started on the drive to the hotel. Just as we turned left from Airport Road, our agony began. From that point on, we crawled inch by inch until we reached The Peninsula Manila after over three hours. And to think our flight from Hong Kong took us only one hour and 40 minutes! We could have saved time had we flown back to Hong Kong.

Outside were numerous vendors, tapping our windows, as they offered long stemmed red roses and heart-shaped balloons and pillows. Inside the bus, some could not help but complain and swear.

I tried to explain to them that people are all out in the streets celebrating the occasion.

"Why is Valentine’s such a big deal here," a very unromantic Hong Kong Chinese asked.

"Well, look at this way. We Filipinos have time for love," I said, emphasizing the word "love" to annoy her.

"But you are mostly Christians," said one Indonesian. "How can all the Filipino women have partners?"

"Ah, that is a Filipino original ingenuity," I said without further going into details.

Depending on every situation, there is an answer as to why Valentine’s Day is celebrated worldwide. If you have a lover, a partner or even a spouse who is, you know, still active and virile, then you must believe that Feb. 14 is a day of love, because this is the day when birds are believed to be mating. If you are in a bawal na pag-ibig, or better yet, you are still very much happy and in love with your spouse, then you must believe Valentine was a priest who performed secret marriages for young lovers after Emperor Claudius banned marriage, because he believed single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families. However, if you are loveless and cynical, then you’ll probably say Valentine’s is for suckers, because it was made up by Hallmark when it needed brisk sales between Christmas and Easter. So you see, it all depends.

If you think about it, the traffic is very bad and the food is overpriced on Valentine’s Day. But like fashion, Valentine’s victims are the women and the men who fear not getting what they really want and have no choice but to succumb to women’s caprices. Well, that’s what the men say.

Peer pressure also dictates that a couple should go out and celebrate Valentine’s Day. So that when her girlfriends and busybody neighbors ask, she would have a nice answer. A simple "At home" would not be acceptable, as the husband would be ribbed no end for being a cheapskate. So, the husband always dutifully reserves a table at an expensive restaurant where the bottle of average quality wine costs more than the wife’s black dress.

And pity the man. He must pretend to be in love and hold hands with his wife just like all the other diners in the room. No matter how miserable they may be, or how long they have been married, they must act and look in love. While the wife is so prettily made up, the husband is struggling to think of love because his thoughts are not on love but on the prices of the food.

For seven years now, my hubby and I dress up like we were going on a date, but we wine and dine in the quiet of our home. Yup, it is cheaper and more relaxed.

This year, we broke tradition and braved the traffic to Manila to join our good friend Linda Mañalac in celebrating her birthday. And for our quiet private moment together, we spent an hour at a hotel spa. We could not pretend we enjoyed a candlelit dinner when we could no longer see our food or read the menu without asking the waiter to bring us a flashlight.

Going back to our grueling three-hour crew bus ride on that Feb. 14 many years ago, the irritated foreigners turned their annoyance on us, the three Filipinas on the bus; to amuse themselves, I guess.

"So, the nice Filipino guy will carry the girl’s bag to the bank and then kiss the back?" the snobbish Singaporean said, aping and exaggerating the Filipino accent. You know how they make fun of us Filipinos pronouncing "a" like "u." So, she said it like, "So, the nice Filipino guy will carry the girl’s bug to the bunk and then kiss the buck." And they all chuckled, happy they have annoyed us.

"So, are the romantic Filipinos good lovers even if they bring bugs to the bunk? Ha?" the American engineer asked, obviously teasing me still.

"The best in fact," I quickly replied, with stress and confidence. Everyone laughed heartily.

"You got me there," he said softly, his face turning red for Valentine.