Iza Calzado shares wedding details, road to recovery from bad relationship

MANILA, Philippines — Before actress Iza Calzado marches down the aisle toward boyfriend of more than five years, Ben Wintle, she recalled how she healed from the wounds of a difficult relationship, which affected her wellness and self-esteem.

In a recent interview with Philstar.com, Iza shared how she became depressed following a breakup.

“What you didn’t know is that I was in a very difficult relationship. That’s why I’ve been so obsessed of losing weight kasi I was kinda pressured to look a certain way. I wasn’t of sound mind and body because I was going through a lot mentally and emotionally, but you don’t see that,” she admitted.

Being in this relationship with an unnamed boyfriend made her very insecure about her body and pressured her to trim down to fit into society’s “unrealistic” beauty standards.

“Some people forget that you’re a human being,” she fretted.

“Your photos are being liked because of what you look like, the things you have or how you style yourself. It’s not like they’re liking you because you look mabait or magaling na artista, she’s compassionate, she’s strong. You’re not liking the photos because of that. Maybe sometimes…  But oftentimes it’s because it’s maganda.”

Since her body used to be bigger than it is nowadays, she developed stretch marks that made her the target of bashers on social media. Apart from being called “reyna ng stretch marks,” netizens also criticized her body and her skin in one of her bikini photos shot in a resort.

“I’m no stranger to body shaming. Even before body shaming became a thing, they’ve been body shaming me on Twitter. Because as you know, I’m not exactly what’s perceived as perfect. My body is not the ideal size, or my skin being bruised, so I’ve honestly been targeted.”

To heal herself from a broken heart, brought about by both bashers and a bad relationship, she went on a journey she called “self-love.”

That journey, said Iza, includes the following:

• Understanding where people are coming from because they can be coming either from a place of ignorance, insensitivity, or lack of education of being more politically correct. Some people could only be mean, but oftentimes, it is because they have also gone through something, and so they lash out on other people.
• Knowing that other people’s words should not define you.
• Accepting the truth even if it hurts.
• Not fighting negative energy with more negative energy. “Just because somebody attacks me, doesn’t mean I should attack them, too.” Instead, send light their way.
• Knowing that the world is visual, which is why people should not base their self-worth on social media.

After finding herself again, Iza also found the love of her life. She took note of how supportive her fiancé, Ben, has been.

“Actually, he’s one of those people who raised my awareness that I’m more than my body. Kasi if he compliments that I’m sexy, thin and good, it’s still is just about my body, but I’m more than my body. I am an artista, I am a girlfriend, I am a sister, I am a tita, I have my accomplishments in life. You are more than the physical.”

She and Ben chose to have a beach wedding in an undisclosed location in the Philippines because they both love nature.

“I’m not a bridezilla, but I’m a tired bride. Taping life is tough!” shared the actress, who is about to star in an upcoming TV series.

“I must admit that I’m also pressured to slim down for the wedding, but I’m not obsessed to the point of starving myself.  I’m now eating cleaner, working out, but whatever happens, I’d be happy with myself.”

Just like her, she wants others to also find their strength and happiness via The Body Love Revolution Conference, which she organizes together with her advocacy group, She Talks Asia. 

Founded by Iza, model-host and creative entrepreneur Victoria Herrera, model-host and culture columnist Sarah Meier, and award-winning social entrepreneur and educator Lynn Pinugo, She Talks Asia is a movement that aims to celebrate the modern woman, providing a space for inspiration and support among women across multiple platforms. 

To be held in Whitespace Manila, Chino Roces Avenue Extension, Makati City on September 29, The Body Love Revolution Conference aims to take a deeper look into a wide array of topics surrounding body love. These include knowing one’s self-worth, how emotions affect the physical state, myths of body positivity, and media and different beauty perceptions. The event features a lineup of 24 speakers, including restaurateur Erwan Heussaff, Miss Universe Philippines 2018 Catriona Gray, and renowned photographer Sara Black.

Iza hopes that through the conference, she could inspire more people to celebrate the body they are in.

“Through The Body Love Revolution, we want to say that no matter your shape, your size, your color, you are worthy of love and one of the key messages is you are more than your body, knowing that there’s more to celebrate about you than just your body,” she enthused.

She admitted that by setting up the conference, she is putting herself at risk of not being listened to or worse, being bashed again.

“Sometimes, it’s a lost cause, but I don’t mind. You know, the fact that I tried to enlighten them is already victory for me.”