February 14: Judgment Day!

Pressure!  Yes, you’re right, that’s what this is all about. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and if you procrastinate in making plans and finding a present for your significant other, the odds of your V-Day turning into mayday are substantial.

Most men regard gift-giving as a painful exercise; something best accomplished in the quickest possible time with minimum effort and minimal financial damage (if the case applies). Since some women take offense against men who, utterly lacking in romantic sensibilities, give out multi-function, state-of-the-art blenders or power tools for Valentine’s Day, there is obviously an issue here that needs to be addressed.

The whole philosophy of gift giving seems to be somewhat lost on the male of the species.  Go ahead and blame this on genetic programming or childhood mis-socialization of the sexes; the point is, gift giving is an extremely big deal to women.  What you give them and how you hand it over translates to your perceived value of them in your life, to a quantification of your affection, to your appreciation of their worth.

What you are really doing when you give a woman a present is giving her memories. When you buy a gift, you are buying a memory that will long outlive the actual object purchased. It is what women dip into – their memory banks, if you will – when the relationship hits rough edges. So think of gift giving as a pre-need investment, an emotional bank of sorts you can draw from during critical times.  It is with this in mind that you should rack your brains, stretch your imagination and plan ahead.   Crush your messiah complex of knowing what she needs and what will make life easier for her; think only of what she will like and what will make her happy. 

Function is a dirty word in gift giving; so is practicality – please be advised! Unless your gift is a plane, train or automobile, if it has a motor, she won’t like it. Absolutely no power tools, no GPS gadgets so she doesn’t lose her way while driving, no battery-operated roast beef slicers because you like your portion cut with precision, no how-to books because she knows everything already, nothing made of metal unless it’s gold, silver or platinum. 

Don’t get her the latest Wusthoff kitchen cleaver made of a tungsten and graphite compound because she might use it on you. Don’t give anything that will make her feel fat. If you must buy clothing and are unsure of her size, err on the side of tightness. Don’t send out your mother, sister or secretary to buy the present and sign the card. Women have built-in radars for this and they are infallible. Don’t ever, ever cram and in your final hour of desperation be driven to buy those decorative doggies with bobbing heads from the vendors on EDSA on your way to her house on the day itself. This is a death sentence; I am not joking!

They don’t want practicality as the logic behind your choice of present, nor do they want it to be purely economics. The effort you put into the entire process is what carries the most weight.  They want the magic of the moment, the sentiment surrounding the thought, the grandness of the gesture over and above the cost of the item. They want their fairy tale even for just a few a few minutes.  Absurd?  Probably, but so true!

Women remember which present you gave them for what occasion and on which specific year. Whatever happens, don’t ever forget Valentine’s Day.  And gift-giving antes are usually upped for every shortcoming. Women are anal-retentive when it comes to red-letter dates. Atonement for a forgotten occasion might cost you double in terms of time, effort and money invested.  And these figures multiply exponentially with successive offenses. If you had planned on giving her a card because you failed to remember, you will now have to take her to dinner; if you were bent on giving her flowers, you will now have to purchase an entire garden.  So make life simple and be diligent. If you intend to take her to dinner, make your reservations now!  After which, proceed to the next step: picking out a present. Here are some suggestions that may make the whole exercise less painful:

Ten Most Popular Gift Ideas for Valentine’s Day

(According to Heidi Muller, relationship correspondent for an online magazine)

1. Watch: Every woman needs a watch, which incidentally is the most popular Valentine’s Day gift idea this year.  If she already has one, it never hurts to have an alternate. 

2. Jewelry: Works like a charm.  Incidentally, charm bracelets are big this season.

3. Champagne: Don’t forget to bring two flutes.

4. Lingerie: Purchasing lingerie has become quite clichéd but it is generally well-received by the ladies.

5. Perfume:  This works every time.

6. A comfort item: Anything tactile and sensual that she can hold close to her body such as a cuddle blanket, a pretty shawl that feels nice against the skin, a down pillow, a silk, cotton or waffle robe, etc.

7. DVD: If both of you are homebodies and would rather snuggle indoors instead of braving the legendary traffic jams that materialize on Valentine’s Day, get a DVD of a film or television series. Don’t forget to bring popcorn.

 8. Jewelry box: This is such a romantic, old-world present, so full of sentiment that is sure to tug at the heart of any lady.

 9. Bath products: Shower and bath essentials such as gels, oils, talc, soaps, shampoo, lotion, etc.  These feel-good items are for pampering the self.  It says tons about the giver.

10. Gift basket: A gift basket is always a thrill to receive; unearthing the little treasures inside is part of its charm. Shop in the appropriate store depending on what she likes: specialty food stores, beauty and cosmetic counters, bookstores, etc.

If none of these appeal to you, there is the usual tandem of chocolates and flowers. 

Plus, you can always fall back on the old standbys: a spa gift certificate, concert tickets or private lessons with a pro for a sport of her choice.

Speaking of flowers, there is an entire row of flower vendors at Market! Market! in Taguig City .  They have an extensive selection of cut flowers and their prices are one of the most reasonable within the city perimeters – just a little bit more than what Dangwa vendors charge.  Of course these figures will jack up around Valentine’s Day, but just so you have a price index, a dozen roses tied together should cost around P180. A dozen roses arranged in a bouquet with greens and fillers is about P300. A tropical flower arrangement in a vase is around P900.