Gratitude and its powers

If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never truly be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.

—Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu’s thoughts ring loudly

during this holiday season,

where an attitude of gratitude

should be a central theme that we should live by. It talks of the simple joy of living from a grateful heart. We are all encouraged never to forget to say a word of thanks to those who have been nice to us and even to those whom we believe we should be nice to, even if at some point they have disagreed with us or have put us in troubling situations.

An attitude of gratitude is giving praise. It is a great way to start, grow and preserve friendships, keep respect and honor in place and joy overflowing. It is the foundation of success for anything we get involved in, or any connection we capture, embrace and nurture. It is extolling an assistant or our fellow executives who have done something good. It is identifying the explicit actions of a driver, security guard, bank teller or cleaning lady found to be admirable, which we share with others, not just the person being appreciated. It is handwriting a note, giving a warm handshake, presenting a gift or treating somebody to lunch to express our pleasure for a good deed or a remarkable performance. It is sharing success stories with others — not to brag but to inspire, to motivate and move them to action. It is letting people know what their work means, how it helps and the kind of impact it creates.

Expressing a word of thanks is good manners and right conduct. But more than that, it is simple decency in action. The person receiving it feels appreciated, and the person giving it feels grateful. It is an affirmation of an act of goodness, be it deliberate or random. It balances, completes and empowers the act of compassion and giving. And since the expression reflects indebtedness, it evokes a sense of humility in the person giving thanks, as it arouses and empowers the generosity of the spirit of both the receiver and the giver.

“Thank you” is an expression made up of two simple words and should not be difficult to utter. Give it with sincerity. It’s important to learn how to genuinely say it, particularly to those who share our resources. It helps repair the spirit and mend the fabric of our human interfaces. We may think it shows our vulnerability but in truth, the openness we exude every time we say thank you lends itself to an emotional outpouring — appreciated or not — that preserves our personal well-being.

If we find it difficult to say thank you, look inward and find out why we have trouble saying it. Explore our feelings and our thoughts. Talk to someone we trust about it to get another perspective on the way we behave. Discover its importance as well and get spiritual guidance if we need to. If we don’t embrace the spiritual aspect, try talking to somebody higher in position, or better yet somebody we respect.

Realize the impact of our actions on ourselves and on our respective communities. Take responsibility. Accept the challenge. Take the time. Know that we are, that we will, or that we can be role models to someone and are setting the example for others. Verbalize our grateful feelings because, undoubtedly, there is power in speech! Giving is one thing but saying it is another. Just do it! A basic “thanks” can also be a heartfelt personal discussion. Thus, we should verbalize, verbalize and verbalize, because saying thank you becomes more powerful and important if we speak it.

Giving thanks is also beneficial from a logical and business perspective. It could go above money to motivate people. Acknowledging the work force with thank you’s and other little expressions of gratitude provides psychic income, a fundamental but important human need. It answers the need for social acceptance, a heightened sense of worth and improved self-realization. It brings a long-term influential effect, which can be more valuable than cash rewards.

As I express my thanks to the readers of “Commonness,” let me share some of my favorite thank-you quips from MJ Ryan’s inspirational book, Attitudes of Gratitude.

• Gratitude is the mother of joy. “Joy is prayer … joy is love … joy is a net of love by which we can catch souls. She gives most who gives with joy.” —Mother Teresa

• Gratitude promotes health. “Feelings of gratitude release positive endorphins throughout the body, creating health.” —Sharon Huffman

• Gratitude makes us young. “The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

• Gratitude makes us feel good. “Mental sunshine will cause the flowers of peace, happiness and prosperity to grow upon the face of the earth. Let’s be creators of mental sunshine.” —Graffiti on a wall in Berkeley, California

• Gratitude eradicates worry. “You cannot be grateful and unhappy at the same time.” —A woman to Dr. Tom Costa

• Gratitude is the antidote to bitterness and resentment. “The more light we allow within us, the higher the world we live in will be.” —Shakti Gawain

• Gratitude spawns kindness and generosity. “Our workaday lives are filled with opportunities to bless others. The power of a single glance or an encouraging smile must never be underestimated.”

—G. Richard Rieger

• Gratitude opens our hearts. “The most invisible creators I know of are those artists whose medium is life itself. The ones who express the inexpressible — without brush, hammer, clay or guitar. They neither paint nor sculpt — their medium is their being. Whatever their presence touches has increased life. They see and don’t have to draw. They are the artists of being alive.” —J. Stone

• Gratitude connects us to spirit. “If the only prayer you say in your whole life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.” —Meister Eckhart

• Gratitude is an expression we should say as often as possible. “Let’s feel the magic of those two little, big words, ‘Thank you.’” —Ardath Rodale

* * *

E-mail bongosorio@yahoo.com or bong_osorio@abs-cbn.com for comments, questions and suggestions. Thank you for communicating.