Dear Nanay,
I have a problem. I have a new boyfriend, a foreigner from Canada who is 66 years old. I am 20. I am not in love with him as much as with my ex-boyfriend, who is 68 and from New Zealand. My boyfriend knows my ex and, to be exact, they met because my current boyfriend insisted on meeting him. My problem is that my boyfriend loves me so much but I love my ex-boyfriend more. And my ex-boyfriend only loves me as a friend. What should I do?
N
Dear N,
First of all, I really think you are too young to be dating men who are in their 60s. Although I am sure there are some relationships that work, those are more exceptions than the rule. Maybe you should really find someone who is closer to your own age so it will have a better chance of being a lasting relationship.
Having said that, regardless of the age, maybe you should take a look at the situation you find yourself in. The one that you love doesn’t love you anymore. So why are you even paying attention to him? The other one who loves you, you don’t really care for. So why are you even paying attention to him? Bakit mo sila pinapansin? Is it not time for you to look for someone else?
Remember that love is symbiotic. It has to be a two-way street. If not, it is doomed to fail and you will only get hurt.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Everything in Her Life is a Problem
Dear Nanay,
I am so depressed. Everything in my life is a problem: life, family, money, my job. Why is it like that? What can I do to make myself feel better, Nanay?
Agnes
Dear Agnes,
Habang nabubuhay, may problema. (As long as you live, you will have problems.) Without problems, life would not be interesting. So relax! Tataas lang ang blood pressure mo (Your blood pressure will just rise) if you let all these problems get to you. Remember that there are always solutions to your problems. And solving those problems will only make you stronger.
In addition, don’t forget that it is only a matter of perspective. Is the glass half-empty or is it half-full? For example, you said you have a problem with your job. Mabuti nga may trabaho ka! (It’s a good thing you even have a job!) There are so many people with no jobs. Those people would do anything just to have a job. There is no reason for you to complain.
You said you have a problem with your family. It is a good thing you have a family. No matter what kind of problems you are having with them, they are still your family. There are so many people who only wish they had some kind of family or wish they knew who their families were. You should feel fortunate.
And since you didn’t mention your health, I assume everything is okay. So many people take good health for granted. But wait till you have health problems. Iyan ang talagang (That is really) “you don’t know what you have until it is gone.”
So don’t give up. Keep working at your problems a little at a time and you will eventually find solutions.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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