Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. — Oprah Winfrey
A new baby is like the beginning of all things — wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities. — Edna J. Le Shan
One of the most interesting bits of news from the recent Metro Manila Film Festival was the Best Actress award of Sharon Cuneta Pangilinan. During her Dec. 28 acceptance speech at the SMX Convention Center of SM Mall of Asia, Sharon pleasantly surprised everyone by saying that she and husband, Senator Kiko Pangilinan, plan to adopt a baby boy.
Adoption is Not Only About Having Money But Also Love & Maturity
In her thank-you speech, Sharon said: “To my husband, for always supporting me; to my children, who had so many questions dahil laging wala si Mommy para sa shooting na ito. KC, Frankie, and Miel, I love you. And to the baby boy we will soon adopt. To my mommy, Elaine Cuneta, I love you, Mama…”
I wish to congratulate Sharon on having the courage to adopt a child, because it takes a lot of emotional maturity, genuine motherly love and selfless caring for a person to decide to adopt. By publicly announcing her plans, she has also brought the topic of adoption into the public consciousness as something positive.
Yes, adoption is, in general, good, because it helps a family raise a child and gives the kid a better future than what he or she would have gotten from his or her tragic or unfortunate past. For childless couples or those who wish for another kid, adoption helps to complete their family. Adoption is also one alternative to prevent unwed mothers from committing the horrific tragedy of abortion. Even Hollywood’s Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have adopted kids from poor foreign countries.
Worldwide through the ages, among the numerous adopted children who grew up to become achievers are the Greek philosopher Aristotle, the poet and writer Edgar Allan Poe, America’s greatest First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, inventor George Washington Carter, novelist James Michener, philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau, American founding father and politician Johyn Hancock, Olympic diving champion Greg Louganis, Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy, former US First Lady Nancy Reagan, South African leader Nelson Mandela, US civil rights leader Malcolm X, musician Eric Clapton, and singer Nat King Cole. Former US Presidents Gerald Ford and Bill Clinton were also both adopted.
Steve Jobs, Larry Ellison, Moses, Jesus & Many Asian Taipans Were Adopted
What do American billionaire Larry Ellison of Oracle; world-famous entrepreneur and technology trailblazer Steve Jobs; tycoon Tom Monaghan of the Domino’s Pizza empire; Moses, the leader of the Jewish minority in Egypt; and Jesus Christ have in common? They were all adopted as kids.
Many unwritten and unrecorded histories among Asia’s overseas Chinese taipans in the past centuries, starting mainly from the 19th-century decline of the corrupt Manchu-ruled Qing Dynasty up to the 20th century, involve colorful sagas about a disproportionate number of top ethnic Chinese entrepreneurs who were actually adopted sons. They overcame numerous socio-economic/cultural hardships as immigrant youths and even suffered secret emotional pains to propel them towards success. Crisis indeed often strengthens us for success! It is also interesting to hear tales from many parents who tended to spoil or over-protect their birth kids, while overly disciplining their adopted kids, thus further training their adopted children to excel.
Billionaire industrialist John Gokongwei Jr. once told me, even among the poor rural families in south China who wished to send kids to Southeast Asia to seek their fortune, not a few preferred buying adopted sons from even poorer families, and these adopted sons were the ones often sent overseas. Here are a few real-life stories:
• The businessman great-grandson of this “rags-to-riches” tycoon recounted this saga. The businessman said that his maternal grandfather — also a self-made trader who founded a huge and diverse clan in 19th-century central Philippines — was an adopted son bought from a poor family.
• My great-great-grandfather, Dy Han Kia, was a third-generation immigrant of our clan to sojourn to Manila under Spanish colonial rule. He became a self-made lumber tycoon. When he became rich, he had two wives (polygamy was legal for men with power or wealth in the past) with one son and one daughter, but he adopted three more sons — most of whom were his nephews.
Through the generations, all of my well-heeled entrepreneurial paternal ancestors had multiple wives, had their own kids but still wanted more male heirs, so they always added by adopting sons. It’s fascinating: many of the driven and gutsiest achievers of our clan were the adopted sons. Perhaps their adoptive moms didn’t truly love the adopted boys or the latter had to strive to prove themselves?
One of my grandfather’s cousins was adopted by our Li (spelled Lee, Dy or Dee) forebears from the poor Lim family in a rural village in Fujian province, south China, in the Qing Dynasty. When my forebears went to look at the various sons of this Lim family, they chose the most physically robust and intelligent-looking boy. However, on the day the selected boy was to be sent to our forebears’ mansion, that boy got very sick with diarrhea, so the Lims secretly replaced him with another of their sons. This replacement kid was sent to the best Western-run and Chinese schools, and he would rise to be a top business and civic leader in Philippine society in the US colonial era, who brought a lot of glory to our clan.
Another member of our clan who excelled in business in the early to mid-20th century was bought and adopted by our forebears from another poor rural family, also coincidentally surnamed Lim. The father had lost in gambling and had to sell one of his sons to settle debts. The son eventually selected was 10 years old when adopted, and after two years of primary schooling in our home village, he was 12 when he was sent to Manila in 1922. The adoptive mother, who had her own kids, didn’t treat her adopted son equally, so he became more driven to excel and grew up to be a dynamic entrepreneur. This son’s adoptive dad once told him — before revealing his birth parents and their address — to be filial to his adoptive parents, but that he should also never forget his birth parents.
• Another top business taipan was also an adopted son. He was bought in the early 20th century from a poor rural family in Fujian province surnamed Lao. The boy was selected based on a simple test of wits given by an overseas Chinese family based in Manila. This adopted boy came to Manila and excelled, becoming a phenomenal success in the postwar era.
• Another business leader was adopted as a child to be the eldest kid of a poor Chinese family. The couple eventually bore various sons and daughters. It was the adopted son who became one of the most dynamic and biggest entrepreneurial success stories ever. This adopted son also became an exemplar of the Confucian custom of filial piety to parents and ancestors.
• I heard this story about a modern-day business achiever, whose parents were poor in south China and had no choice but to sell their two sons in order for the kids to have a better future. The father had to carry the two baby boys in separate baskets balanced on both ends of a bamboo pole, which he carried on his shoulder while looking for buyers.
When this business achiever’s brother was sold and he remained unsold and unselected, both his dad and mom subsequently had to carry the bamboo pole from both ends and balance the baby boy at the center. Later, this second boy was sold at a bargain price. The new adoptive parents were not rich but eventually migrated with the adopted son to Hong Kong and later to the Philippines. This brilliant adopted son eventually mastered his destiny and achieved huge successes.
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Life is always about new beginnings. Hope springs eternal for those who dare to dream, work hard, are willing to sacrifice and have unwavering faith in God.
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Thanks for your many letters; all will be answered. E-mail willsoonflourish@gmail.com.