Communications during difficult and challenging situations can take one of two appropriate response routes: you either “talk and talk and talk” to bring out your messages, or adopt a strategy of silence. In today’s environment, there is often a temptation to say too much. And in an environment where too much talk and spin have become dangerous and a liability, sometimes it pays to shut up and move on quietly.
Here comes SUMO — short for “shut up, move on.” It’s a mantra you can recite when you are acting or thinking in a way that is blocking your facility to do well. It doesn’t necessarily mean “get over it” or “pull yourself together” — although there may be occasions when both retorts are essential. “Shut up” means to suspend what you’re doing, and to take time out to reflect, review, release ill feelings and unconstructive beliefs that encumber your potential.
“Move on” means tomorrow is another day — hopefully rosier, healthier and richer. It urges you to look for new possibilities, to plan, think and translate thoughts into action. You can tell the person you are arguing with to SUMO, but make sure you deliver it sans an insulting tone. You can SUMO and get problem situations over and done with without sounding unreasonable. In this age, angry argumentation won’t help anything anymore.
There are six SUMO principles espoused by Paul McGee in his book S.U.M.O. (Shut Up, Move On): The Straight-Talking Guide to Creating and Enjoying a Brilliant Life. The codes tackle suggestions on how to handle nervous tensions and anxieties more positively, and manage, motivate and lead people through behavior and attitude transformations. If you are grappling with everyday living, these tenets can assist in making you achieve a more successful personal and professional life.
1. Take responsibility for your own life. Nobody else will with the same level of passion and care as you will hopefully bring yourself. Stop reproaching other people for what is happening to you and refrain from being tagged as a victim. It is all too convenient to hold something, someone or everything responsible for what is happening to you, but you have to take accountability for how you respond to and deal with difficult circumstances. As Dr. Gerald D. Bell said, “You are 100 percent responsible for your own happiness. Other people aren’t responsible. Your spouse isn’t. You alone are. So if you are not happy, it’s up to you to change something. It’s not up to someone else to ‘fix it’ for you.”
2. Change your thinking to generate the desired results. This is premised on the belief that if you alter or redirect the way you think, your own behavior and how others see you change. This in turn can make your dire situation get better. Delete self-doubt in your system and assume an air of confidence to usher in opportunities that have evaded you because of your unsure and laid-back attitude. Be aware of McGee’s TEARs model: what and how you Think, how you manage your Emotions, what Actions you take and the kind of Results you want to achieve. Run away from faulty thinking anchored on the false beliefs that you lack value, that talking and thinking about something for extended periods is an adequate substitute for taking action; that what happens to you is brought about by fate, luck and other people’s actions; that urgency determines importance and the big picture can be ignored.
3.Wallow in depression if you must, but snap out of it quickly. You are entitled to be cheerless and heartbroken — but please don’t make the negative feelings linger or you get drowned out. Move on. The more times you replay your disheartening story, the more you relive it.
4. Increase your understanding and awareness of other people’s worlds. Picture a beach ball between you and the person in front of you. Your side of the ball is green with red stripes and his is yellow with orange dots — two different views of the same ball. No matter how rabid your stand is, you will not be able to convince the other person that your perspective is the right and acceptable standpoint. Two opposing views, though, do not necessarily mean one has to be wrong.
Accepting other people’s point of view, allowing yourself to have a full understanding of it, and dealing with differences are critical factors in improving relationships. Thus, you are better armed to handle things and issues if you appreciate what influences your own and other people’s outlook.
5. Move intention to action. Carpe diem. Put theory into practice and actually do and achieve something. Great ideas, grand goals and noble intentions are meaningless without great actions. You achieve success in life not just because you take charge of your thinking, but also because your thinking propels you into taking action.
6. Don’t leave your future to chance. What it will look like is largely your own making. Expand your definition of success and recognize that a more fulfilling future waits you when you focus on your career, relationships, recreation and contribution.
It is important to know when to hold and when to fold. Keep a cool head always, and avoid shooting your mouth off and getting yourself into more trouble. Equally vital, evade getting bullied by elements that can deliberately or accidentally test you. Make sure that as you SUMO you come out reasonable and credible. As you know, it is much harder to correct a mistake than to get it right the first time.
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E-mail bongosorio@yahoo.com or bong_osorio@abs-cbn.com for comments, questions or suggestions. Thank you for communicating.