Torn between two companies

Dear Nanay,

I work for a PR agency and my boss is resigning and setting up a competing business. He wants me to join him at his new company and resign from my present job. My loyalty is now being torn between my old boss and my current company, which has also been very good to me.

Nanay, I don’t know what to do. My boss is also offering me a much bigger salary, more than I could hope to get here at my current job for the next few years, at least. But the problem, of course, is I don’t know how successful his new business will be. Here in my current company, my job is stable and maybe I will even get promoted because my boss is leaving.

Do you think I should stay or should I go?

Confused PR Girl

Dear Confused PR Girl,

I think you already know the pros and cons of the decision you are facing. Do you go with the higher salary with an uncertain future or do you stay with the lower salary but more stable job? I think only you can answer that.

What you might want to think about is the value to you of the higher salary. How much more money will you make? Do you really need the extra cash or are you okay with your current pay? And then you can balance those factors out with the risk you will take by joining a startup company.

If you ask me, all else being equal, I would just stay. Mahirap mag-umpisa ng negosyo ngayon. (It’s hard to start a business right now.) There are so many competitors at mahirap maghanap ng (and it’s hard to look for) clients. And as you said, who knows, you might even get promoted now that your boss is leaving. If that happens, then maybe the disparity in salary won’t be that big anymore.

Sincerely,

Nanay

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Feeling Pressure To Get Married

Dear Nanay,

My boyfriend and I have been going steady for five years now, ever since we were in college. We are both registered nurses; I’m 24 and he’s 23 years old. He is currently working as a clinical instructor in school and at the same time taking up his master’s, which he will be graduating from in October next year. On the other hand, I am currently reviewing for the NCLEX so I can work in the US someday.

A lot of our batchmates from college are already married, Nanay, and we even attended some of these weddings. What’s bothering me is that every time we attend these weddings, I can’t help but envy my batchmates, who’ve already chosen to settle down way ahead of us, and to think my boyfriend and I have been together for a much longer time than them. And sometimes I feel pressured by my batchmates, who constantly tease us about when we’re going to tie the knot.

Due to the pressure, I sometimes make parinig to my boyfriend that I want to get married already, even though we are both not yet ready for such a big commitment. He says his plan is to finish his master’s first then go to Saudi Arabia afterwards to work there and save enough money for our church wedding, because he knows that I want a church wedding.

We often fight because he says that I’m pressuring him and sometimes I even joke that maybe I can’t wait that long. Is it wrong for me to feel this way, Nanay? Our friend who recently got married says that no one is ever going to be ready for marriage, and she even told my boyfriend, “What are you waiting for?”

What are your thoughts on this, Nanay? What do you suggest I do? I know that getting married entails a big decision and is a big leap, but I’m absolutely sure that he’s the one I want to marry.

Nigella

Dear nigella,

It sounds like you are so lucky to have such a responsible boyfriend. No wonder he is the one you know you want to marry!

He has very good plans for your lives together. He is showing responsibility and maturity. So if you love him, then I think you should be willing to wait. After all, you said it yourself — you are both not ready to get married and you are just being pressured.

Huwag ka magpa-pressure sa mga kaibigan ninyo. (Don’t let yourself get pressured by your friends.) You have to do what is best for the two of you. Don’t get married just because everybody else is getting married and before you are ready. Why are you rushing? You are still so young. Even if you wait another five or six years you will still be so young. Just because getting married early is right for your friends, doesn’t mean it is also right for you. Be patient. It will all pay off in the end.

Sincerely,

Nanay

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