Should she quit her well-paying job to study?

Dear Nanay,

I am currently working as an administration assistant in a multinational company. However, I am no longer happy with this kind of work. I have been doing this kind of job since I graduated from college and it is out of line with my course, which was BS Computer Science. Though the salary is much higher than the average worker in this kind of field, I am no longer satisfied. Not to mention I wake up every morning and drag my feet just to go to the office.

My interest is in finance and that is why I enrolled in a finance course in one of the schools in London, England. Though I am very excited to take this step, I also fear that I am going to lose my job that pays well and covers the financial needs of my family. I am really troubled about taking my course next year and having to resign, leaving my family and a good-paying job. My other worry is that I still don’t have my student visa even though the college already accepted me, because the embassy requires me to have a sponsor. I can support my studies there for three years but it is a requirement to have a valid sponsor.

Please advise me on what to do.

J

Dear J,

First of all, if you have no visa then there really isn’t very much you can do. If you really want to go it sounds like the first thing you have to do is find a sponsor. In the meantime, while you have not found a sponsor yet, you definitely cannot quit your job.

Your big decision will come if and when you get your visa. Should you stay or should you go? If you ask me, I say go and pursue your dream! Hindi ka na masaya sa ginagawa mo. (You’re not happy with what you’re doing anymore.) So I think you need to go and follow your heart. That’s your dream and that’s where you will be happy.

I think your decision might only be affected if you have a child or a family that is dependent on you and you need the regular income to support them. In that case, you have to weigh the benefits against the costs of your leaving your family and giving up your income. You have to ask yourself if you can afford to support them even if you don’t have a job.

But as I said, if there is nothing stopping you, then go and fulfill your dreams!

Sincerely,

Nanay

* * *

Three Aunts Who Ruin Family Reunions

Dear Nanay,

I’m 18 years old with a big extended family on my mother’s side.  My mom had nine siblings and they are very close so three to four times a year, we have a family reunion. I have three aunties who loved to make fun of my cousins and me since we were young.  Kahit na biro lang yung mga sinasabi nila, nakakasama sila ng loob. (Even if they are joking, they make you feel bad.) One time, one of my cousins brought his new girlfriend to one of our reunions.  He introduced her to everyone and the night ended uneventfully.  The following reunion, my cousin found out that my aunties had given her a pet name and ever since then, they would refer to her as babalina.  They apparently felt na medyo mahaba yung baba ng girl (that the girl’s chin was rather long). Because of this, most of the time, ayaw ko nang dumalo sa mga family reunion (I don’t want to attend family reunions anymore). Nanay, what can I do?  Is it okay if I don’t attend the reunions anymore?

Gina

Dear Gina,

Talk to your mom so that she knows how you feel. Tell her the real reason why you don’t enjoy going to your family reunions. Ask for her advice on what you should do. If possible, maybe you can ask her to talk to her sisters.

But as these are your family reunions, I think you really need to go. Nakakahiya naman kapag hindi ka nagpakita. (It’s embarrassing if you don’t show up.) Parang (It’s like) you are not giving respect to your family and your elders.  If you truly can’t stand it, maybe you can compromise and just stay for a few hours and leave early.  Or perhaps you can go to the reunions and just avoid being near your three aunties. Anyway, marami namang ibang tao doon na puwede mong kausapin (there are a lot of other people there you can talk to).

Sincerely,

Nanay

* * *

If you have a question, e-mail us at asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.