Letting a son go to find his dreams
Dear Nanay,
I’m a mother of three children aged 20, 18 and 16. I raised them alone since my husband left for the United States 12 years ago, but he never neglected us naman — he is a good father and husband. One month ago, he got his citizenship and is eager to file for our petition and we’ll be joining him in the US soon.
My problem now is my eldest son. He is not interested in migrating to the United States for the following reasons:
He chose his scholarship with one of the best auto manufacturers in Europe. The company will pay for everything, including his tuition fee and other expenses for his training. He will be deployed in Germany middle of next year after his graduation and training, which has a three-year lock-in contract. Sayang naman daw itong opportunity. (He says this is too good an opportunity to waste). By the way, he is taking an auto mechanic course. He says he will save abroad and after his contract with this company, he will come back to the Philippines and go back to college for a four-year business course and invest in a small business related to automobiles. He is inspired about what he’s doing because of his passion for cars.
He also chose to stay here in the Philippines because he says he won’t be able to find the kind of life he wants in America.
Nanay, I am afraid because he has such big ambitions in life and it involves material things. He wants to have a beautiful house, car, and lots of money so his family won’t experience hardship in the future. He believes in hard work, perseverance and good strategy and does not believe in good luck only. What if he can’t reach all his goals? Should I convince him to join us in the United States so the family can remain whole, or should I just let him do what he wants? Please help me.
Bothered Mom
Dear Bothered Mom,
First of all, let me congratulate you for raising a son whom any parent would be proud of. You are so very lucky to have a son like him.
During these days when so many of our youth are “professional bums,” tinatamad magtrabaho or puro bulakbol (too lazy to work or always delinquent), your son is showing remarkable maturity, ambition, and the drive to be the best that he can possibly be. That is something to be proud of! That is something to support and nurture! In other words, pabayaan mo siya! Let him go and find his dreams! Why will you stifle his determination to succeed? Why will you stop him? Because you are afraid that he will not reach his goal? Hindi tamang dahilan iyon. (That is not a good reason.) If that is your only reason to try and convince him to give up his dreams, dapat pabayaan mo na lang siya (you should just let him do what he wants). As a matter of fact, you should even be encouraging him as opposed to stopping him.
Let me tell you again that you are so lucky that your son is so driven and focused. It is so refreshing to see such a young man with medium- to long-term goals already set for his life. With that kind of drive, responsibility and determination, I am sure he will be successful in whatever he does.
Let him go for it!
Sincerely,
Nanay
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A Former Employee Is An Avid Fan
Dear Nanay,
I am one of your avid fans, even during my time in your company. I worked there for 20 years, from 1984 to 2004. All I can say is thank you for all I learned during my stay in your company. You know, Nanay, my stay there was not easy, but every time I remember your face when you visited our branch in Quezon Avenue, I could feel your concern for your employees. I could feel all your love. That is why I stayed because I know that I would have my right time also. Maybe God has prepared a great and fulfilling life for me as well. I availed of my optional retirement in 2004. And now, Nanay, I am managing my own business with five branches here in Bulacan. Again, thank you and more power to you and your company. God bless you.
Josefina Roque
Dear Jo,
Congratulations on your beautiful and inspiring story. I hope that in its own little way, working in National Book Store has somehow helped you in setting up and running your business.
Your National Book Store family is proud of you.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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If you have a question, e-mail us at asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.
