Torn between a girlfriend and having kids
Dear Nanay,
I was ready to ask my girlfriend to marry me until she told me that she could not have children because of some medical condition. I gave myself a few months to try and figure out if this is something that I am okay with. I have always wanted a family with kids and I am always jealous of my brothers and sisters who already have children. A few days ago I realized that I really want to have a family and even if I love my girlfriend and want to marry her, having my own baby is very important to me and I do not really want to adopt. What do you think I should do?
L
Dear L,
Your problem is a very difficult one to answer. Mahirap talaga kapag mahal mo ang isang tao bagamat hindi niya maibigay sa iyo yung hinahanap mo sa buhay. (It’s really hard when you love a person who can’t give you what you want in life.)
The first thing I would do is to talk to some doctors. I don’t really know what her condition is and I don’t know if there are any remedies. But with all the advances in modern medicine today, perhaps she will consider talking to other doctors who might be able to prescribe some solutions to your problems. Get a second or third opinion. Do not go solely with the opinion of a single doctor.
If there really is no medical solution, maybe you can reconsider adopting. There are many families who have successfully raised adopted children as their own. And even if this is not your first choice, it might still be the best compromise for you. You get to marry your girlfriend, raise a child and have a family with her.
And as a last resort, I think you will unfortunately just have to make a choice. Needless to say, it will be a difficult one. But you ultimately may have to choose between your girlfriend and having a baby.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Her Ex Is Dating Her Best Friend
Dear Nanay,
My ex-boyfriend and I were able to remain friends even after we broke up years ago. Recently one of my friends told me that my ex is currently dating one of my best friends. I am so upset at both of them for dating behind my back! They betrayed me! How can I ever trust either of them again?
Menchie
Dear Menchie,
Didn’t you say that you broke up with your ex years ago? If that is the case, then I think you no longer have the right to dictate to him what he does with his love life. And I also don’t think it is your business to dictate to your friend who she can or cannot go out with. You feel betrayed because they did not tell you that they were dating. But whom they tell and don’t tell is really their choice.
Besides, hindi mo naman iyon (he’s not your) boyfriend! So if you really think about it, who cares? Just move on with your life and if you like, find another boyfriend. But there is no reason why you should feel bad about your friend and your ex. As a matter of fact, if you are really their friend, you should be supportive and wish them nothing but the best because if they are happy, then you should be happy for them, too.`
Sincerely,
NanaY
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