The nanny diary
Dear Nanay,
I am 25 years old and working as a nanny. I have been doing all-around chores for eight years now. I started when I was 13 while I was studying and my employers were the ones sending me to school. I was able to finish second-year college in Business Administration as a working student. Hindi naman ako pwedeng humingi ng tulong sa bahay dahil hirap kami. Sa sobrang pagod ko sa trabaho hindi na po ako makapag-concentrate. Hanggang nagkasakit ako for a month kaya natigil ako sa pagaaral. (I can’t ask for help from my family since we are hard up. I get so tired from work that I can’t concentrate anymore. Because of this I got sick for a month and had to stop school.) My parents were disappointed but they couldn’t do anything because hirap kami financially.
Nanay, I need a change in my life. Sometimes I feel I am losing all hope. I want to change my life but I don’t know how to start and where to start. In the future I will also have a family, pero ayokong ganito ko sila bubuhayin (but I don’t want to earn a living for them like this). I will not be able to give them what they need. And I also want to be able to help my family more than what I am giving to them now.
I really need your advice because I cannot open up to my parents kasi ayoko sila bigyan ng problema at makita nila akong malungkot (because I don’t want to give them a problem and for them to see me sad).
Do you know if there would be a good person or family who would be willing to send me to school while I work for them? Or if there are companies who will hire me even if I just finished second-year college?
Melody
Dear Melody,
I admire you for your goals in life — to finish school, to be able to provide for the family you will have and to be able to help your parents financially. I think it is also admirable that you are trying your best not to give your parents problems and to do what you can to help them.
But you also have to understand that you cannot do everything yourself. Alam ko ayaw mo bigyan ng problema ang magulang mo, pero saan ka pa aasa ng tulong kung hindi sa sarili mong magulang? (I know you don’t want to cause them problems, but where else can you ask for help if not your own parents?) And I don’t only mean financial help. I also mean emotional help. Even if you don’t want to give them problems or let them see you sad, you cannot do everything by yourself all the time. It is okay to ask for help or support once in a while.
With regards to your professional life, I think you should really do everything you can to finish college. It will be easier for you to fulfill your professional goals if you have a college degree. But depending on your employer to pay for your schooling might be asking too much. It will be very difficult to find such an arrangement, especially if you are just starting a new job.
Maybe your goal should be to work part-time and then attend school part-time. If you do not want to be a nanny anymore, there are definitely companies that hire people who have not yet been able to complete their college degree. The only problem is that the pay will almost certainly be quite low. But you know you have to start from somewhere. You have to start small and build it up. Hindi magic iyan. (It’s not magic.) So if you can work and study, with patience and perseverance, baka magulat ka — magising ka isang umaga at nakapagtapos ka na ng college (you might be surprised — you might wake up one morning and find you’ve already finished college).
You are still young. Don’t lose hope because there is still plenty of time. You just have to set your goals, start slowly and keep working at it every day.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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Last August 25, we responded to an e-mail from “A” entitled “Stuck On The Man Of Her Dreams.” “A” recently e-mailed again to update us on what has happened to her since she wrote the first e-mail.
Dear Nanay,
Gusto ko lang po magpasalamat sa advice ninyo. Grabe po. Tuwang-tuwa po ako pagkabasa ko. (I’d just like to thank you for your advice. Wow. I was so happy when I read it.)
Regarding our unresolved issues, I did talk to him the last year I had my vacation. But when we talked, I was the one doing all the talking. He was just listening. When I started blurting out the words “sana kahit papaano maging magkaibigan kami (if only we could be friends no matter what),” he didn’t answer. Basta yon na lang lumabas sa bibig ko na sana balang araw magkita kami sa daan, sa isang function, at kahit papaano may ”hi” and ”hello.” But wala eh, mahiyain talaga siya. (That’s what came out of my mouth, that in the future if we crossed paths, at a function or something, we’d always find a way to say hi and hello.) Just earlier, his confidant texted me saying that I am always his last topic and that he cannot forget me daw. Sayang, ngayon ko lang nabasa yung reply ninyo! (It’s too bad I only read your reply now!) Anyway, what happens to us is ultimately up to God, I suppose.
Thank you very much and more power to your column.
A
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If you have a question, e-mail us at asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.
