Should an 18-year-old court a 12-year-old?

Dear Nanay,

Good day, Nanay. I really love reading your column and it always gives me a lot of advice when I relate myself to others’ problems. Now I think it is time for me to share mine and ask for some help.

I am an 18-year-old boy, and I am in love with a girl who is 12. I don’t really see it as immoral because it is pure love that I feel. It is magical and sincere. It never entered my mind to do any bad things to her, because I really care for her. And since I didn’t know what to do, I tried to be vocal in my feelings and admit to her that I love her through a letter. Since then, she has stayed away from me and has never spoken to me again. We have lost our friendship and I can no longer express how I care for her. But I understand why she decided to act that way. I really felt sorry about it and I want her to know that.

After what happened, I do still love and care for her and I know that she is my one great love. I know that time is not on our side. I don’t want to feel regret just because I quit this battle. That is why I have decided to wait for her, until the right time. It is truly hard to wait knowing she is very far away from me. I just hope that, one day, it will not be wrong to become her friend again, when she is of the right age.

Is it possible to bring back our friendship? Is waiting for her a good move for me? And can you help me, Nanay, to say sorry to her? I am sincere in my feelings and I always pray that she will forgive me for what I have done. I don’t want to forget her and I’ll wait for her till the right time comes. 

Thank you, Nanay, for any help and God bless!

DNO

Dear DNO,

She is definitely far too young right now. She is only 12 years old. I don’t think she will even understand what you mean if you tell her you love her. Anim na taon lang ang agwat ninyo, pero ibang-iba ang mga mundo ninyo. (There is only a six-year age difference between the two of you, but you seem to come from two different worlds).

Can you bring back friendship? Yes. In time, of course you can be friends again. Is waiting a good idea? Not only is it a good idea, but I think it is your only option.

You have to wait for her. Wait until she is at least 18 years old because that is the only time she will be mature enough to really understand what is happening. That is the only time she will be able to make logical decisions about love. By that time you will be 24 and she will be 18. The “gap” between the two of you will be much smaller.

Do you have to say you are sorry? I don’t think so. It is in the past and I do not think there is a need to revive those wounds anymore.  Maybe one day when she is older and you become friends again, then you can apologize. But I think for now, it is better for you to just leave things as they are. 

In time, if she really loves you then she will forgive you. Likewise, if you really love her then you will be willing to wait.

Sincerely,

Nanay

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Last week, we featured a letter from Roberto Yaya who was an OFW who worked in Saudi Arabia for 28 years. He came back to the Philippines and said that even though he was still physically and mentally sound, nobody wanted to hire him because he was too old.  In response, we received two e-mails from people offering their help to Mr. Yaya. 

We would like to thank both Rene and Jake for offering their assistance.

Dear Nanay,

I read your article today about the job opportunities for older people. I am also an OFW and I could help Mr. Yaya regarding his concern. I am willing to help him as I have already done with other OFWs seeking job opportunities in the country. Kindly forward this message to him and tell him I am most willing to accommodate him. Thank you and God bless you.

Rene

Dear Nanay,

I am an entrepreneur and I am writing to inquire about your column for Monday, July 21.

The first letter was from Mr. Roberto M. Yaya. He said he is looking for job opportunities since he is still strong and mentally sound. I believe that I may be of help to him.

I provide health and wellness business franchises for OFWs, families of OFWs and people who want to have a business they can do part-time or full-time.

Would it be possible for you to send me Mr. Yaya’s contact details so that I can get in touch with him? I would truly appreciate it since I think I may truly be able to address his concern.

Jake

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If you have a question, e-mail us at asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.