Smart vs. pretty
Dear Nanay,
I am 14 years old and a high school student. There are six of us in our barkada and we are all very close friends. Our four friends are very pretty and popular. And two of us are just ordinary. We’re not very pretty and not very popular. Sometimes we get very insecure and very sad. But of course we do not tell our friends. We just keep it between the two of us. What can we do so we can also be pretty and popular?
JJ
Dear JJ,
First of all, you have to be thankful for what you have. Just be happy that you have the opportunity to go to school. You don’t have to be pretty or popular to find happiness or success. There are so many other things you can be.
I understand that while you are in high school it seems like those are the most important things in life. Pero maniwala ka sa akin, hindi iyan ang mga pinaka mahalaga sa buhay. (But believe me, those are not the most valuable things in life.) There is far more to life than just beauty and popularity.
So if you are not the most beautiful or not the most popular, then go and find something else to pursue that will also make you happy. You can be the best athlete. You can be the leader of an organization. Or better yet, you can just be the most intelligent. Kapag ikaw ang pinaka matalino, tingnan natin pag final exams na, kung sino kaya ang pinaka popular sa barkada ninyo. (If you are the smartest, when final exam time comes, let’s see who’ll be the most popular in your group.)
Eventually, intelligence, hard work and discipline will be more important in your life than beauty and popularity. As superficial traits begin to fade, it is the things that are between your ears and what is in your heart that will count because nobody will ever be able to take those away from you.
Sincerely,
Nanay
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When The Ex Starts Calling
Dear Nanay,
I have been living in with my boyfriend for three years and we are thinking of getting married next year. Recently, an ex-girlfriend has been calling him regularly. He doesn’t really hide the fact from me and he says that they just talk like normal friends. I usually get upset when I find out they talked and I think I am getting jealous. But he insists there is nothing wrong and that they are just friends. What should I do?
Marsha
Dear Marsha,
Getting jealous is normal. If you don’t get jealous, then you are not normal. It is what you do with that jealousy that counts.
But if you have trust and confidence in your boyfriend, then you will give him the benefit of the doubt and just believe him. Ask yourself: Has he done anything for you to doubt him? Does he hide when he talks to the girl? Does he see her in secret? Kung hindi, baka naman nagsasabi siya ng totoo (If not, maybe he’s telling the truth) and you are just overreacting.
And maybe the most important question you have to ask yourself if you are thinking about settling down is this: If you do not trust him 100 percent, then why will you even marry him?
Sincerely,
Nanay
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