Wait for your turn

I don’t know what it is about us Pinoys that makes us so incapable of falling in line and waiting patiently in our spot. It happens all the time. Whether it’s at the airport, a movie theater, fast-food restaurant, or traffic, we Pinoys always try to find ways to bypass the line and create our own line — so we can get ahead of everybody.

It happened to me recently. I was at the Select store at the Shell station along North Expressway. I just got myself some gum and a Gatorade. It was a weekend getaway so I wasn’t really in a hurry. There was one person ahead of me who was transacting with the cashier. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a lady carrying a bunch of goodies came near me — and subtly positioned herself on the right side of the line, in between the woman before me and myself. In my mind, I was thinking, “Wait a minute, is this lady about to sneak in the line?” I was struggling a little bit, kind of staring at her, waiting for the slightest move on her part that would indicate that she was indeed trying to pull a fast one. When the woman who was ahead of me finished her transaction and left, this sneaky lady suddenly cut right in front of me (like the way Dennis Rodman would cut into the lane of a driving Michael Jordan) and presented her goodies to the cashier. Blood rushed to my head. I was pissed. But for a second, I debated with myself — “Do I let this rude person get away with it? Or do I take the higher ground and let it go?” That split second seemed like an eternity. I was telling myself, “In the whole scheme of things, allowing this person to go ahead will not affect my life. I am not in a hurry, anyway. She, on the other hand, might really be rushing. Also, allowing her to go ahead might earn me brownie points in heaven. But darn it, I can’t seem to accept the fact that she’s pulling a fast one — at my expense! She should be taught a lesson! She can’t do this and expect to get away with it!”

At the end of that split-second debate, I decided to speak my mind. But before I could even say, “Hoy!” the cashier calmly told the lady, “Sorry, ma’am, nauna po siya,” and then she pointed at me. The “singit” lady then said, embarrassingly, “Ay, sorry,” pretending she didn’t do it on purpose. I was thinking to myself, “Sorry? Yeah, right. You knew darn well what you were trying to pull!” Smirking, I then gave her a little nudge, as if saying, “Tabi ka dyan,” and paid for my goods. I then told the cashier, “Thank you, ha. Tama yung ginawa mo.” I made sure the lady behind me heard it.

I’m sure a lot of you have experienced what I did in that Select store. I’m sure that you have all experienced a person cutting in front of you. And it pisses you off, right? Then you say, “Hay naku, mga Pinoy talaga.” 

As sad as it seems, though, I think we’re being a bit too unfair to ourselves. Pushing and shoving and trying to be first in line is not exactly a Pinoy invention. I think it’s human nature. Sure, Westerners seem to be more disciplined when it comes to lining up. But they can be crazy, too. Once I saw a show on a lifestyle channel where a wedding gown store had a “buy one, take one” offer. Hundreds of girls lined up before the opening of the store. And when it did open, the girls went wild. They clawed and scratched and punched each other just to make sure they got that dream wedding dress — and an extra one, just in case (as a man I will never understand the logic behind a “buy one, take one” promo for a wedding gown. How many times do you plan to get married?).

So really, this knack for being impatient in lines is a universal thing. It’s a human trait. The animal nature in us tells us, “Go and get what you want — kill everyone who blocks your way.” But our conscience tells us, “Now, now, behave. You have to act like a decent human being. You have to line up and wait for your turn.” So it’s a war that goes on in our head. And every day we have to fight it.

The bad news is, we’re all born with it. Don’t believe me? Do a little experiment. Gather a bunch of toddlers together in one room. Then open the door and put a toy — just one toy. Then leave and watch the toddlers through a one-way mirror. What will you see? Two-year-olds killing each other, that’s what. The fact is, you can’t tell a two-year-old, “Wait for your turn. Let your little brother play with the toy first. And then you can have your turn.” He’ll never understand that. He wants to play with the toy — and he wants to play with it before anyone else gets to play with it. To a certain extent, we all have this two-year-old trait in us. It never really leaves.

As we grow up, we mature a bit. And we learn the merits of sharing and not thinking of ourselves too much. But we’re really just pretending. As we grow up, we may not overtly try to get ahead of others. But we will do it in our own subtle way. And in no other place is this more evident than in the business world.

In the business world, we try to follow a lot of protocol. We try to behave so that people will think we’re decent. But you and I know that there’s a lot of backbiting and backstabbing going on in the corporate world. And mainly, this is brought about by our impatience with each other, and with the system. We feel bad when a peer of ours gets promoted ahead of us. We get furious when our competitor wins an account instead of us. We get depressed when our peer’s work gets commended while ours doesn’t even get noticed. We want to get ahead of the line all the time. We never want to be the one who’s “next in line.”

So are we a doomed lot? Are we all going to eventually kill each other?

No. I don’t think we’re that hopeless. Not yet. I think, in the whole scheme of things, we humans have done a tremendous job of harnessing what is good in us. A lot of us have learned to be patient. And when you look around, there are people at bus stops, in theaters, and in supermarkets who do wait patiently in line. But there are still some who try to ruin the system. These are the ones who haven’t totally evolved into homo sapiens.

In the business world, as in everyday life, it is always good to remind ourselves that patience has its own reward. It may not be an immediate reward. But by being patient, by being happy while we wait, we can achieve a lot of things.

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Thanks for your letters, folks! You may e-mail me at rodnepo@yahoo.com.