How to turn down a flirtatious client

Dear Nanay,
I am a sales agent in Cebu for one of the big insurance companies. One of my biggest clients, who is an officer for a large firm, is flirting with me. My problem is that I am happily married and am not interested in having an affair with her. How do I say no?
– Michael

Dear Michael,

It may be difficult to say no but unfortunately you have to find a way to do it. I think the key is how you say it.

First of all, talk to your wife and ask for her help. This is also to make sure that she doesn’t misinterpret anything. Then maybe you can invite your client to lunch or coffee and have your wife join you. Make sure you look really happy together, but also tell your wife in front of your client how fantastic your client is and what a wonderful person she is. Hopefully, your client will get the hint from this little exercise and give everyone a graceful exit. Kailangan ’yung walang mapapahiya. (Make sure no one gets humiliated in this exercise.)

Do it subtly at first, but you know that if she doesn’t stop, you might have to be a little more direct. If you have to tell her straight, then just make sure that you are nice and friendly. Respect the client. Do not be condescending. Be humble. Tell her you want to remain friends and, of course, you want to keep her as a client.

But in the end, I think you may have to accept the risk that your client may decide to change agents. Just remember that the worst thing you can do is to string her along without any hope for a future, expecting that she will remain your client.

Sincerely,
Nanay

* * * Collecting On A Debt

Dear Nanay,
A relative owes me money. How do I get him to pay up? I’ve dropped subtle hints, which don’t seem to work. 
– Adrian

Dear Adrian,

Remind him that he owes you money. Puwede mo naman gawin ng pabiro at ’yung walang nakakarinig para hindi siya mapahiya. (You can do it in a joking manner, and do it privately so that he doesn’t get embarrassed by it.) Do that once or twice. If he still doesn’t pay you, then tell him frankly that you need the money also and that he should pay you back. Kahit na hulugan puwede na rin. Basta mabayaran ka lang. (Even if he pays by installment, so long as he pays you back the amount.)

You have to remind him about his debt. Because sometimes, people really just forget. Unfortunately, there are many people with selective memory, who just choose to forget their debts. But it is your duty to remind him.

I have always felt that pag utang, utang. Kailangan bayaran iyon. Iba ang bigay. (A debt is a debt. It has to be paid. It’s different from something given.) Unfortunately, whenever you lend someone money, you have to accept that there is always a chance that you may not be paid back anymore. The next time you choose to lend someone money, keep in mind this thought: Are you lending or are you giving?

Sincerely,
Nanay

* * *

If you have a question, send an e-mail to asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.