I just gave birth a few months ago and am back at work from my maternity leave. I am having difficulty taking care of my baby, doing the housework and completing my responsibilities in the office. There never seems to be enough hours in the day. How did you cope when you were a new mother, especially given the fact that you had twins?
— Jen
Dear jen,
It is always a difficult choice for a mother who is torn between her baby and her work. Yes, it will take a lot of hard work. Yes, it will take a lot of sacrifice. But believe me, you can do it. Millions of devoted and hardworking mothers do it every day. And if they can do it, so can you.
I think it just takes a little organization of your time. The first thing I would do is to look at what you are doing the whole day. You might be surprised to find out how much idle time you spend just sitting around resting or watching TV. Kahit na mabawi mo lang yung 30 minutes or one hour of that idle time, malaking bagay na iyon. (Using that extra 30 minutes or one hour is a big thing already.) You can also wake up maybe 30 minutes or one hour earlier in the morning so you can do your household chores. If you can only do those two things successfully, you have already added one to two hours of productive time to your day. Because you have to do more things now, you really have to be more efficient with your time.
Of course, what will help a lot is if you can afford a yaya for the baby. Don’t forget that a yaya does not have to be full-time. Even if you can only have someone come and help you three or four times a week, that will already free you up to do other things. Train the yaya well so that when you are out and she is watching the baby, she can continue to do what you have been doing even if you are at work.
However, I also realize that some people are really in an impossible situation where they have to make a choice between raising their baby and working. I was fortunate that when I had my children I could spend time with them while working at the same time. But if you are in an impossible situation like so many others, you will just have to make the difficult choice. And mind you, this is not only a problem that faces those who must work due to financial needs. Marami ring mayaman na pinipili ang career at trabaho nila imbis na magpalaki ng anak nila. (There are many rich people who choose career and work over raising their child.) This is especially true with many high-level executives who cannot even afford to take the full maternity leave because "there is too much work at the office."
I urge you to try to raise your child and work at the same time. Keep trying and don’t give up so easily. Sacrifice some of your other pleasures. Believe me, when you see them grown up and even more successful than you, you can look back and say to yourself that it was worth everything you did for them.
Sincerely,
Nanay
Do you believe in feng shui?
— Janilyn
Dear janilyn,
Your question is perfectly timed because the Year of the Pig has just started!
I know many people who believe in feng shui. I also know many people who don’t believe in it. Is it true or not? Honestly, I don’t know.
But if you look at some of the fundamental principles of feng shui, many of them really make sense. For example, the floor of your bathroom cannot be higher than the rest of your house. Why? Because when you think about it, kapag bumaha yung banyo, mas maganda nga siguro na mas mababa yung sahig niya (if your bathroom floods, it’s better if its floor is lower). Otherwise it will spill into the rest of the house! Doesn’t that make sense?
So if you ask me, if you really believe and you want to strictly conform, then why not? If you just do it as a hobby, then go and enjoy it. If you don’t believe in it, I am sure nobody will hold that against you. At the end of the day, I think you are entitled to your own opinion and what is more important is how you live your life in general as opposed to which set of rules you choose to follow.
Sincerely,
Nanay