Garcia – 41 years old, single, good-looking, very articulate, so nice to talk to – told me that her co-founder was another lady, Carmen Castro, who was not there that morning. But she introduced me to four very young girls congregated around her desk, and I have never been the same since then.
I began to understand why Fatima never got married. The sole satisfaction she must get from being the director of a facility that provides specialized loving care to cancer-stricken children must give her that high, like no other. The four young girls were all cancer survivors and alumnae of the Child Life Program of Kythe: Loraine Gomez had ovarian cancer as a baby of three months, and is now an energetic 13-year-old. Liberty Rosauro, now 15 years of age, had ovarian cell cancer at a very early age. Charito Ramos’ left glass eye I would never have noticed had not Fatima told me, for they were both smiling eyes as she said "hello." She got afflicted with cancer of the retina at the age of three and is now 15. Mica Dianne Magyaya, now 13 years old, is a survivor of Wilm’s Tumor, which afflicted her as a baby of eight months. They were there in Fatima’s small room, preparing to participate in some of the activities of the Child Life Program, being all alumnae of the said program.
Whenever Fatima Garcia talks about the program (the objective of which is to give specialized care and support to cancer-stricken kids, help them overcome their fear of the medications they will be going through) her eyes have that sparkle of commitment, not the kind that you see sometimes with caregivers who get drained out of caring for the infirm, but that spark of joy. Her dream right now, she told me, is to have this program in all the hospitals possible. She said, "So long as the hospital administration is open for us to share what we know."
There was unmistakably a lot of cheer in the air, from Justine Lopez, a 28-year-old registered nurse who is a Child Life assistant, to May Calpatura who was teased as a very sexy secretary, to the cheery ambience of Dr. Marvie Abesamis’ room. I did not get to meet Dr. Abesamis who is one of very few pediatric oncologists in the country, and is the president of the facility. The vice-president, Dr. Ramon Severino, I met at the NBC Tent after the awarding ceremonies of former President Cory Aquino’s "People Power People," for he and Fatima accepted the award given to Kythe Inc.
Dr. Abesamis’ office contained a collection of owls and a touching gift that said "World’s Number One Doctor, Marvie." Such cheer extended to the venue of the orientation for volunteers, a playroom actually, but that morning it was transformed into a lecture room. About 25 young volunteers awaited Fatima’s entrance. As I sat at the back of the room and looked around, I told myself, "I certainly am the oldest, by far, in this room," because the volunteers were young students, or had just graduated from UP, Ateneo, La Salle, Poveda, Assumption, UST, etc.
It was inspiring to see these young people listen intently to Fatima, making me feel good that still a lot of the younger generation are not into discoing their energies away or spending useless hours in the bars.
As Fatima lectured, memories of an experience where the lecturer was actor Paul Newman came back to me, which I had attended with a friend at the Sarah Lawrence College in 1990. An older Newman, still with his blue, blue eyes talked about his great experience providing support for the summer camp activities of children with what he called "catastrophic blood diseases." At first I was not paying much attention to what he was saying for I was just staring at the still handsome movie actor, and wondering if Joanne Woodward was still in his life. But then these thoughts vanished as his rhetoric dwelt on the beauty of discovering that, though the entire exercise was for the sick kids… "Guess who’s recovering?" he said. "Us! The biggest beneficiaries were us – the volunteers, the staff, the crew, and the counselors."
That was exactly the miracle of Kythe. For 11 years now, Kythe has given the kind of specialized care and support to children afflicted with cancer or life-defeating tumors, as they go through the extremely difficult medication/operation processes, including of course chemotherapy with its debilitating side effects. I was given a very colorfully packaged booklet entitled Kapitan Kimo authored by a male registered nurse, Allan Cabisaga, child life specialist, with ingenious illustrations by another male nurse, Dino Bartolome. Kapitan Kimo (chemotherapy) is depicted as the superhero that will rescue the sick children from the ugly Kanser Kilabot – very well written in both Pilipino and English. And possibly here is where the donors of Kythe come in. I know that Citibank is one of its biggest contributors.
It was Richard Smith, country manager for private banking in the Philippines who married one of my favorite nieces, Alessandra Lichauco, and had a lot of the latter’s friends calling him "Gere" (for Richard Gere of course), who had mentioned to me, when I was telling him about Kythe, that Citibank Philippines was proud of their participation in it. You can’t begin to imagine how the program’s approach helps the sick children.
The business of people at Kythe is indeed about self-abandonment. It is not just that superficial feeling of self-fulfillment. Haven’t you heard some people say, "I’ve got to let go of this business because it is not fulfilling"; or "This man isn’t fulfilling me, so I’ve got to give him up"; or "I can’t feel free unless I fulfill myself." I have learned – surprising, as it may seem – that we should not be deceived by the mandate "to fulfill oneself in order to be free." This is precisely what Kythe teaches – that the only sure road to freedom is self-abandonment.
It was what the still blue-eyed Paul Newman was trying to tell his audience more than a decade ago. And the sparkle in Fatima Garcia’s eyes is living testimony to the joy you discover as you lose yourself in self-abandonment.
Actually to write a meaningful book is an act of self-abandonment; to love a man is an act of self-abandonment; to listen to a friend, really and truly listen, is an act of self-abandonment, and to pursue a crusade for reform no matter what the odds are or whether people laugh at you, is an act of self-abandonment. Think of the people you know who are most free, most whole: I doubt if they waste time worrying about self-fulfillment. Probably they have learned through pragmatic observation that self-fulfillment turns out to be self-imprisonment – and it widens the rift between mind and heart. For it is self-abandonment that heals that chasm between intellect and intuition, between the mind and the heart.
In that lecture at Kythe, as I sat at the back and looked at the young men and women being coached by Fatima about what it takes and what is needed to give the children the proper support, I noticed the play furniture and toys at the back of the room. Fatima told her new crop of volunteers that the room was furnished by a mother of a child that had passed away. It was now called "Migi’s Corner." I was certain that pretty soon that same sparkle in Fatima’s eyes, would be in their eyes, too.
This is the business of Kythe Inc. – self-abandonment that will make your eyes sparkle and glow.