"Hey, Rod!" he enthusiastically said, "could you do me a favor? I set a meeting with Tina tomorrow, but I can’t make it." So I said, "Sure, no problem. What reason shall I give?" Dondi replied rather matter-of-factly, "Oh, tell her I just found out I have lung cancer and I have to meet my doctor."
I was stunned. My knees got weak and I had to sit down. I told Dondi, "No, please tell me it’s not true." He replied, managing a little chuckle, "Yeah, it’s true, what a bummer, no?"
Talk about the understatement of the year! I mean, losing your car keys or getting a spaghetti sauce stain on your office shirt is a bummer. But having lung cancer is not a bummer. It’s a tragedy of Titanic proportions!
I groped for words. "I really don’t know what to say. How could this happen to you? You don’t even smoke!" I said, shaking. He replied, "Well, it can happen to anyone. Well, at least I know how I’m going to go. I’ve always wondered about that."
"Don’t say that! You’re gonna beat this darned thing," I replied, but who was I fooling? In my heart, I was bleeding for him, and I was scared. Dead-scared. I couldn’t sleep that night.
When you’re young (and I still consider myself relatively young), you don’t think of death much, especially if you’re very much immersed in the corporate world. Sure, you hear of clients or colleagues in the industry who pass away, mostly the guys who are already old or those who have been sick for a while. And then you will say, "Ah, talaga? That’s sad. Let’s send flowers. Then we move on – e-mailing, faxing, making phone calls, attending meetings, etc.
Occasionally, there will be a relatively young person in the industry who will die due to an accident or something and we get jolted for a while and say, "What? Talaga? He’s so young!" Then you reflect for two minutes, and thereafter say, "Let’s send flowers…" And then we move on again.
But it’s not everyday that a dear officemate or a business partner tells you he has lung cancer and he’s about to die. When you’re with someone almost every day, churning out memos, proposals, and faxes, and having daily meetings, and sometimes even having squabbles, etc., there’s a tendency to think that that person will always be there and you’ll be doing all that office work for eternity.
Prior to my joining MTV, I was with Dondi almost every day, going through the "daily grind" of business, trying to "make a living." And then, with one phone call, everything I was doing in the office seemed so trivial, almost pointless.
Of course, we all know that working is not a pointless thing. We all work so we can earn our keep, to support our family and bring home the bacon. And we work to find meaning in our lives. Certainly, we can’t just stay idle and meditate on the meaning of life and death all the time. That’s not how we’re supposed to live our lives. Even if we know we’re going to die someday, we still have to toil and sweat in order to live. Even the Bible says that. But when you face a crisis, like a dear friend getting seriously sick, it shakes up your whole world. And all of a sudden, all the things you were doing – drafting a proposal or negotiating a deal – seem so hopelessly futile and senseless.
I think the important thing to remember when these things happen are: (1) your life may be dull, boring, difficult, hectic or just plain crazy but remember, every second of your life is a gift so you must appreciate every single moment; (2) realize that it can happen to you – that is, sickness or tragedy can strike you when you least expect it, and thus, you must always be ready.
That day when Dondi told me about his situation, I went home with a very sad feeling. At the same time, however, I began to appreciate that every breath we take is a gift – even if we live in smog-filled Manila where every breath is practically a step closer to death. I looked at my wife sleeping peacefully beside me that night and I thanked God for that simple joy. It was really sobering to realize that one moment I am breathing normally and tomorrow, I may not be breathing at all.
A couple of months passed by since that fateful day when Dondi called me. I had been in touch with him and the good news was, he was doing quite well. Recently, I saw him at church and he looked very good. I told him, "Hey, you’re really looking good. I guess therapy is working well." And he said, "Sister Gloria of the Religious of Virgin Mary (RVM) cured me."
I was really amazed. I mean, you hear stories about miraculous healings but it’s not every day that you have a close friend who has gone through a miraculous healing himself. Since I knew Dondi was not the type to kid around, I was really curious with his healing so my wife and I went with him to see Sister Gloria.
We went to this Healing Center somewhere in Caloocan. And there, my wife and I experienced something we have never really experienced before: to be totally surrounded by cancer patients. It was a humbling experience. There we were, with at least 50 people, all of whom had cancer, all hoping and praying for a miracle. There was one girl (just about my wife’s age) who had only one leg and had lung cancer. Our hearts bled for her. And again, I cried to myself, with the thought dawning upon me once again, "Geez, I could very well be one of these people. If it can happen to them, it can happen to me." And again, I appreciated the gift of life and the gift of health.
Sometimes, in the corporate world, we feel almost invincible. We go to a restaurant, order anything we want on the menu and we pay with our corporate credit card. Millions of pesos go through our hands in corporate dealings. We can hire and fire people. People do whatever we tell them to do. We feel so powerful. And yet, in an instant, it can all be taken away. The company can fold up. You can get fired for a big screw-up. The union can go on strike. Or an epidemic can happen, like SARS. Then, all of a sudden, you’re out of work and you’re e-mailing your CV to everyone. Or worse, you could be stricken by a debilitating disease, or run over by a truck. It happens to other people. It can very well happen to you.
Next time you want to complain about traffic in Manila or your car stalling, don’t say, "Ang malas ko naman talaga!" Why? It just might come true. Instead, when you’re stuck in traffic or if you’re standing in a long line, why don’t you say a prayer and thank God that you have a car, or that you even have the privilege of being able to stand.