An experimental short for Rez Cortez

Nobody makes any movies these days starring Rez Cortez, which is a pity because moviedom’s loss is local politics’ gain (for the opposition) as well as bane (for the administration). Of course we never thought we’d see the day when Rez, perennial bad boy of old Pinoy movies seen mostly on Pinoy Box Office and Cinema One reruns, would rub elbows with perennial leftists like Ed dela Torre and hunger artists like Fr. Robert Reyes. That trite saying about politics making strange bedfellows just doesn’t wash here; it’s more like politics makes bad movies. So the battle cry for any aspiring filmmaker these days, young or otherwise or even late blooming pseudo-fascist is: Resurrect the movie career of our fave curly tops, pareng Rez Cortez.

It won’t be easy trying to pull the bad boy out of the quagmire of politicos, but it’s worth a try, if only to prove that there is life after farce and the accompanying boredom it entails, which is why showbiz lost Rez to the service of various agitators. Or that could also be a form of showbiz.

We remember a certain memorable character or two Rez Cortez played during our growing up days, one of which had the unforgettable name "Boy Tae," a sidekick of the Philip Salvador character in the mid-80s movie Kapit sa Patalim, i.e., if I didn’t get my filmmography confused. At any rate he acquired the moniker because he had the nervous habit of defecating in the house which he and his partner in crime had just robbed, sort of like leaving a calling card or marking out a territory. Could also be considered a reverse anal syndrome, Boy Tae doing a number in the middle of the floor before they take off with all the money, jewelry and portable appliances.

Fact is, we did meet once a real fellow named Boy Tae during our younger years, only this one as a dyaryo-bote boy who was a regular suki of the folks in UP Village. In my undergraduate days whenever I needed some extra money for dates and motels, I would put together old newspapers and bottles and wait for Boy Tae to pass by hollering his familiar spiel. When money would change hands occasionally we felt the need to treat Boy Tae to a beer or two at the corner sari-sari store, where his stories would rival any of those played out by Rez Cortez on the big screen.

Already we have an experimental short in mind for a come-backing Rez, who we also recall Don Selya-ing a young Hilda Koronel in another movie in which he played a mechanic – boy, did he get Hilda’s motor running.

Rez would be cast as an everyman named Flash Asoge, a character after the cartoonish heart of Roxlee, who anyway thought up the name in a back-page strip in a now defunct magazine. Flash Asoge would have a sidekick named Siokoy Ronald, to be played either by Ronald Lumbao or Tado. Although their names sound Marvel superhero-like, they are plain masa-type fellows just trying to eke out an honest living.

Or we could do away with the Siokoy altogether, and instead cast Flash with a love interest, to be played possibly by Irma Adlawan, a distinctive face in indie digital film. Flash Asoge and the Adlawan character may be seen making love in different parts of the city – on the deck of a ferry, on the railroad tracks, on an MRT coach, but always the private parts would be pixelized, and if not pixelized then certain slogans should be draped over sensitive areas, like "Regimen Gloria-US Ibagsak!" or "Noted" or "In the realm of the Sonas."

Another possibility would have Rez Cortez as Boy Tae the dyaryo-bote boy, in a kind of nostalgic take but not quite, not quite. He would be hawking his stuff on the streets, and then get into trouble with the bossman named Atek at the junkyard, and after he is fired he would defecate in the dead of night in the middle of the most precious scraps of junk of his former employer, as an act of revenge for the exploited class.

Or the best yet would be an experimental documentary short of Rez the political activist as himself, and how an actor survives as an actor far from the big screen, because here he is on the even bigger screen of real life hyper turmoil.

A fadeout shot might employ footage of Press Secretary Ignacio Bunye saying "Who does the opposition want to lead the country, Rez Cortez?" or words to that effect.

Cut to scenes of his many standout films as villain, from rapist to robber par excellence, from Boy Tae to Prime Minister Offal of the hirsute persuasion, taking it to the streets again as Flash Asoge shouting, "Ibagsak, regimen US-GMA..." or "Bangon FPJ, bangon..."