A lot of laughs from Neil Simon’s ‘London Suite’

On its 86th season, Repertory Philippines first presented a comedy, Lend Me a Tenor, about the shenanigans of those singers whose name sounds like they were lifted from the menu of Pizza Hut and who risk injury to their larynx each time they do battle with their arias on the operatic stage. Next, it staged Power Plays, a venture into the realm of the absurd and demonstrates in three easy lessons how you can climb up your neighbor’s back and play horsy-horsy; then, it scared us shitless with The Woman in Black.

And now, to close the Season, Rep is mounting London Suite, a tetralogy set in the city on the Thames. The author? No theater buff is likely to ask. He knows. The fellow loves doing this sort of stuff. You know, four for the price of one. Like a closing-out sale at Macy’s or Harrod’s of London. It’s a great come-on. Who can forget the fun of Plaza Suite and California Suite? Give it to Neil Simon to deliver what the costumer has paid for – and more. Trust a Jew to know.

Director Michael Williams makes certain that his cast and crew serve the goods in the best possible condition to ensure full customer satisfaction.

Part One: "Settling Accounts" opens at a high point of tension as Brian Cronin (Jeremy Domingo), a successful Welsh novelist who has published eight bestsellers, confronts his manager, Billy Fox (Miguel Faustmann) about the loss of all his earnings entrusted to Fox. Doing some sleuthing on his own without assistance from Scotland Yard, Brian has found out that Billy is plotting to abscond with his two million-odd pounds to Argentina. He has accosted the culprit just in time at the airport with a one-way ticket to Buenos Aires. And he is carrying a leather suitcase that he seems to be clinging to for dear life.

Billy makes a feeble attempt to explain. He says that he is flying to Argentina to discuss a business transaction with a certain Señor de Gato, that the Latin American millionaire has a private jet on which he hopes to make his return flight to London, etc.

The scene opens with Bryan holding a gun at Billy. Now, master storyteller Anton Chekhov says that if a gun is mentioned at the beginning of a story, it should go off before the tale ends. Of course, the man could be talking figuratively. At any rate, I should keep my trap shut lest Williams should shut it for me with the barrel of a shotgun for giving the play away.

To me the gem of this episode is the look on the face of Faustmann when he is confronted with proof of his crime – his expression is not so much that of the condemned facing years of confinement in Dartmoor Prison as that of the cat that has just eaten the canary.

Part Two: "Going Home" focuses on the emotional and mental state of Sheryl Semple (Jay Valencia-Glorioso) half a year after the loss of her husband, and the concern of daughter Lauren (Ana Abad Santos-Bitong) who needs to see her mother pick up the pieces of her life again after her loss. Mrs. Semple wanders about from one day to the next in a daze, shopping mindlessly and compulsively and having only a vague recollection of England’s cinematic icons (Laurence Olivier, John Gielgud, Albert Finney, etc.) who she can only identify by the sound of their names. Excess of grief or Alzheimer’s disease?

Playing Cupid, Lauren pushes her mother to accept an invitation from a wealthy Scottish bachelor to an evening at the theater and late dinner. What starts as a simple dinner date for Mrs. Semple turns out to be a weird adventure with an eccentric character with an outrageous case of allergies.

Simon’s gift of blending the pathetic and the comic is much in evidence in this episode, but it is even more so in the next.

Part Three: "Diana and Sidney" chronicles the career of actress Diana (Valencia-Glorioso), which has gone rounds from stage to silver screen to television. With the success of her series on the telly and an efficient girl Friday (Santos-Bitong) to attend to her personal and professional affairs, she accepts the plea of her gay ex-husband Sidney (Faustmann) for a meeting to discuss a serious matter. The reunion is full of happy reminiscences about their past life together before he came out of the closet and the marriage fell on the rocks. While Diana’s road has led her from one success to another, Sidney’s path has led him downhill. He discloses that his lover of many years, a sculptor, and he have settled down on the Greek island of Mykonos, and now the local doctors have declared that the artist is dying of cancer and has only half a year to live. Now he is asking his ex-wife for money to make the last days of his lover as comfortable as possible. A sudden spasm of pain causes Sidney to fall on the floor making a startling revelation about his recent past, as well as the reason why this is not a Greek tragedy but a London comedy.

After this statement, I hold my peace and say no more about the third episode lest Williams kick me in the butt for letting the cat out of the bag.

Part Four: "The Man on the Floor" is precisely about what the title says. Sports enthusiasts Mark and Annie (Domingo and Santos-Bitong) are in near hysterics because they have misplaced their Wimbledon tickets. It’s one of those days when everything goes haywire. Their precious tickets are nowhere among their stuff. They’re booked in the wrong suite which has been reserved for American film idol Kevin Costner who is expected to arrive at any moment. Wearing shoes that don’t match, Annie stomps out of the room to get a drink at the bar. Mark suffers a bad fall and can’t get up from the floor. Scottish hotelkeeper Mrs. Sitgood (Valencia-Glorioso) is frantic and isn’t much help. Bellman (Oliver Usison) and Irish medicine man Dr. McMerlin (Faustmann) come to help only to end up on the floor together with the patient with the back injury. Mayhem piles up on mayhem in this farce. And, are the tickets found? Do Mark and Annie get to watch the matches in Wimbledon? Clue: A lady’s handbag is a wondrous thing. She can put anything from a lipstick to a baby lost in the cloakroom of Victoria Station.

What ties up the four parts aside from the setting which is within hearing distance from Big Ben on the crest of Westminster Tower? The play is as American as the Big Mac from McDonald’s. Its humor is not as distinctively British as Yorkshire pudding and kidney pie. It’s plainly pure Simon and this is saying a lot. He is the most ubiquitous, the most frequently awarded playwright of his generation. Director Williams hits the nail right on the head when he declares that the four plays of London Suite all revolve "around the same theme – human relationships."

Simon can never agree with Sartre that hell is other people. People are funny, even silly at times, but when Simon treats his characters, it is always without a mean bone in his body.

Treat yourself and the rest of the family to a real treat – four plays for the price of one. London Suite is a bargain as high in quality as anything you can find at Harrod’s. And Rep’s packaging by Williams, the cast and stage crew is simply superb.

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