A crucial book on conversations

Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High
By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler
McGraw-Hil, 256 pages
Available in Goodwill Bookstore

"By definition, crucial conversations are about tough issues. Unfortunately, it’s human nature to back away from discussions we fear will hurt us or make things worse. We’re masters at avoiding these tough conversations. Co-workers send e-mail to each other when they should walk down the hall and talk turkey. Bosses leave voice mail in lieu of meeting with their direct reports. Family members change the subject when an issue gets too risky. We have a friend who learned through a voice-mail message that his wife was divorcing him."

Technology, while serving to make communication more efficient, has ironically dulled its effectivity. We talk, or we keep in touch (especially now that we have the Internet and SMS). But do we still know how to connect, especially when it comes to matters that weigh the most? Straight from the mouths of not one, but four international corporate consultants, who, among them, have developed dozens of corporate training programs for Fortune 500 companies, comes Crucial Conversations, a book that promises to be the only one we’ll ever need to handle life’s most difficult and important conversations – the conversations we’ve taught ourselves to dodge despite the magnitude of their possible impact on our lives.

What sets Crucial Conversations apart from other personal development books is that its authors evidently understand that many books offer only temporary results, or at least, results that require much follow-up and reaffirmation. Knowing this, they present their tools for better communication without forgetting to give solid justifications for them. Thus, the book leaves you with the basic groundwork to effectively understand and change the way you view communication before you start using the tools to improve it.

Called a breakthrough book by Stephen Covey, the author of the bestselling Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, who also wrote this book’s foreword, Crucial Conversations likewise employs a seven-step approach to handling "crucial conversations," meaning, the interpersonal exchanges we dread, but need to make at work or even at home. The book promises to help us achieve the results we want out of our conversations without succumbing to the emotional or psychological atmosphere that can arise, because the techniques it offers teach us how to create an environment of mutual respect and understanding, control our tempers, lower our defenses, and encourage freedom of expression.

Crucial Conversations is a very realistic and practical book with extremely workable techniques, effectively aided by numerous anecdotes and examples. It helps to know, of course, that the techniques here were sourced from training materials the authors applied and continue to apply in corporate training programs.

This book is your best bet if learning to communicate effectively, improving on your relationships, or realizing your full potential is top on your New Year’s Resolutions list. – Althea Lauren Ricardo