P-Noy on losing his father: ‘We lost the captain, we lost the rudder, we lost everything’

MANILA, Philippines - To a grateful nation, he is the martyr whose death sparked a conflagration that gutted the Marcos dictatorship and restored democracy in the Philippines. To the widow he left behind, he “was a loving husband and father” and his loss, “a deep and painful one.”

To his only son and namesake, who found himself at 23 the man of house and the protector of his mother and four sisters, he was “the leader who possessed all knowledge and all direction.”

And as the nation pauses to remember Sen. Benigno “Ninoy” S. Aquino Jr. on his 30th death anniversary amid the freedoms he once thought of as impossible, we asked his children how they remember their father.

Early on in their lives, Ballsy, Pinky, Noynoy, Viel and even Kris Aquino knew that their father did not belong to them alone, and that he had a greater commitment — one he was willing to die for.

But even if their father put country before family, they loved and respected him. And when he was assassinated on Aug. 21, 1983 on the tarmac of the airport that now bears his name, “Suddenly, we lost the captain, we lost the rudder, we lost everything,” President Noynoy Aquino told this writer in an interview for PeopleAsia magazine. “He is no longer here and how do you proceed? The dream dies with him and all of that?”

The last three decades have given the answer. No, Ninoy’s dream did not die with him.

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Ninoy lost not only his political clout, he lost his fortune, and many of his friends after he was arrested with the declaration of martial law on Sept. 21, 1972. He was to spend seven years and seven months in a military prison.

But Ballsy (Cruz) says her Dad never stewed in feelings of betrayal after his friends started abandoning him.

“It was Mom who felt it the most,” says Ballsy. “We didn’t hear it from Dad. He’s so forgiving. And I guess as a politician, he knew that friends come and go. Your friend today, but not tomorrow. Hindi siya nag-tanim (He did not harbor grudges). Not at all.”

And his door was always open to reconciliation. That’s why he was hopeful in 1983 that he could still talk to then President Ferdinand Marcos and work out a pact of peace with him.

“He was the type to see the good in everyone. That’s why he said, I’ll try, sige, I’ll try nga to talk to Marcos baka sakali, hindi naman pwede all bad yan (He can’t be all that bad). Meron pa rin good in that person,” says Ballsy. But it was not to be. 

Both Ballsy and Pinky say death was something their father was willing to face. But because he thought the best of everybody, including Marcos — whose soldiers were later convicted for his death — he was hopeful. (Before her death, Cory Aquino said she held the Marcos dictatorship responsible for Ninoy’s assassination.)

“He was hoping that he would be allowed house arrest,” Ballsy told this writer in an interview for PeopleAsia (now available in your favorite newsstands).

According to Ballsy, her father felt that if he was killed upon his return to Philippine soil, “patay siya.” (“That would be the end of Marcos.”)

Cory would later tell a Joint Session of the US Congress in 1986, which she addressed shortly after becoming President, that Ninoy’s death “was my country’s resurrection in the courage and faith by which alone they could be free again.”

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Pinky, whom Ninoy called “Double Mommie” (“And therefore my love for you is double,” he would tell her) because she is named after his mother Aurora and Cory, says that even if her father put country before family, “he showed us he loved us, each one felt special.”

“Of all of us, I think Pinky is the most Aquino,” says Ballsy. “Even pag kwento, (when she tells a story), that’s Dad. I remember Dad even said, dapat naging lalake ‘to (She should have been a man). I guess he could see himself in Pinky.”

“For Dad, there was no wasting time. Everything had to be done yesterday,” exclaims Ballsy. “For Dad and Pinky, things had to be accomplished yesterday. ‘Don’t think too much, just hurry up.’ They are both results-oriented and both she and Dad strive for perfection and excellence.” Even in playing Candy Crush, Pinky says she has to win!

For her part, Pinky sees Ninoy’s charm and approachability in her eldest sister.

“There are two main things in which Dad and Ballsy are alike. Number one, is being able to charm the worst enemy. She can do that. They can be very good negotiators. The patience is there. And number two, I think what she also got from Dad is his being super lapitin (approachable). They make you feel you are not imposing on them at all. That’s why she’s a magnet for people. Lapitin. Sometimes I tell her, Ate, you have to learn how to fight for yourself. I’m getting tired fighting for you and I’m so bruha (a witch) already.”

Both sisters agree that aside from imbibing their father’s love of country, which their mother strengthened further in them, they also inherited their father’s gift of gab.

“That’s something we take for granted, the gift of speech. Even Viel who is extremely shy, is a good speaker. We have to be thankful  that Mom and Dad trained us. We spoke Tagalog in the house first that’s why we can be bilingual,” says Pinky.

Both sisters see their dad’s depth of knowledge and retentive memory in his only son.

“Hindi mo maloloko si Noy, (You can’t fool Noy.)” says his Ate Ballsy.

“They share a love of history,” adds Pinky. “Like Dad,  he’s a speed reader and his retention is super.”

“They are both selfless,” believes Ballsy. 

“P-Noy’s love of country reminds me of Dad, and the other is his being a defender of what’s right. Yung naagrabyado, talagang dapat tulungan. (The oppressed must be aided.) Kung inapi, the more talagang dapat tulungan. (If they are taken advantage of, the more they should be helped).”

Like their Dad, Noynoy finds joy in everyday things, like good food. “Pareho sila ni Dad na tuwang-tuwa that we had good food today.”

In fact, the President said that one of his fondest memories of his father is his (Ninoy’s) love for Ma Mon Luk siopao, which he would take home at night. P-Noy recalls that his dad would wake them all up and happily share his favorite snack with his sleepy brood.

Like his dad, P-Noy’s taste in clothes is simple. Pinky thinks her dad is in fact a little bit more vain than her brother when it comes to  clothes.

“Parang may mas konti pang vanity si Dad kasi he had those new suits ordered as a senator. Si Noy tuwang-tuwa siya na may tailor na pumupunta sa Congress noong araw, P5,000 hecho-derecho na. (Dad was a bit more vain because he had those new suits ordered when he was senator. Noy was so happy when a tailor came to him in Congress, offering barong Tagalogs for P5,000!)”

 Viel’s charitable nature reminds Pinky of their dad. “Viel is very kuripot (stingy) for herself, for everything. Very simple. But when you ask help from her, check book is out. No way can she say no. But she will get the super budget airfare for herself.”

Cory Aquino always used to say Kris reminded her so much of Ninoy.

“It’s the charisma,” smiles Ballsy.